u/Desorden_

Today, my sister downloaded a dating app and was scrolling on it while I was there. I was very surprised because while she isn't aro (probably?), she's been known to be extremely picky and hasn't been in love since 2015.

She told me that her coworker encouraged her to download the app, and she's actually talking to a guy on it. I got curious because since my last disatrous attempt at dating when I was 16, I haven't tried again. I've never had any dating app before either. I was, like, "why not?".

I downloaded it and spent the next hour swiping, but literally no one interested me. Many looked aesthetically great, and they seemed like fun people, but I couldn't muster any interest for them. The more I swiped, the more indifferent I became. This is so uninteresting. I hate real dating too, but online dating feels even more soulless.

I'm still wondering if I'm closer to demi or just aro, but this whole experience just reminded me that I'm definitely on that spectrum.

I put "not sure what I'm looking for" in my profile, but I think I'd like someone I could cuddle and have some kind of strong emotional connection with, but with very little to no sex and no romantic feelings involved (but with deep non-romantic affection?). Like more than a friend but less than a lover if that makes sense?

I have no desire to have someone in love with me, that just feels bothersome, but I think I'd like something because friends and family don't feel enough sometimes.

I've only realized I was ace last year, and I believe I'm also on the arospec, but I'm not 100% sure. I'd love to have outside perspectives.

It's quite rare, but there have been cases where I was "interested" in people. I would admire them, look at them from afar. I'd be nervous to be around them and talk to them. I was extra conscious of them. I would blush, usual stuff teenagers feel, I guess (I haven't had a "crush" since I was 17 and I'm 25).

I'm not sure they are really crushes because I thought of them when I saw them, but they didn't cross my mind when I didn't see them. And most importantly, if they had been interested and actually asked me out, I'm not sure I would have said yes. "Crushing" on them was fun, but I don't think I wanted to date them. I wasn't looking for any reciprocity from them. I mean, sure, it's always nice when people give attention to you, but it didn't make me want anything more. I was perfectly fine just observing them. Part of it was probably aesthetic attraction.

I don't think I'm entirely unable to fall in love, but... I'm also not sure I'm capable of it. I just can't picture myself in love, and it's getting more obvious with the years, which is funny considering how much I love romance books. Even though, I hate it when the romance books are too sweet and sappy and full of "I love you and can't live without you." (*gag*). Maybe that's why I love romance books with psychological and darker elements.

What do you guys think?

I’ve known I was autistic for years, but this year, I finally received my official diagnosis. I was happy because it felt validating, like I hadn’t imagined being autistic.

My mom and friends all know about my autism. It’s obvious for anyone who knows me since I’ve never been good at masking.

But my sister, who is a pediatric nurse, said I wasn’t autistic. I even told her that I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist and she said “Well, she’s wrong”. It’s so frustrating because I’m very close to my sister and it annoys me that she doesn’t believe me. She has had several autistic patients at the hospital, but they all had very high support needs, and she thinks that all autistic people are like this. She thinks that because I am not “loud”, as she says, with my autism, I must be wrong.

The worst is that she’s not even trying to be mean. She really believes that I’m neurotypical. I tried to explain some behaviors I have but she says “I do that too, it doesn’t mean anything”. Like I get very overwhelmed in crowded spaces, but in a way that makes me want to disappear because of all the sensory overload. Like the sounds, lights, and movements are just too much for me. She doesn’t like crowded spaces because she likes having her space and hates when people stick to her. It’s not the same thing at all, but she’s not even trying to understand. She’s always been very stubborn and once she’s decided something, it’s hard to change her mind.

Even her friends noticed I’m different. Her past roommate even went as far as saying to her: “Why is your sister staying over so much? She’s so weird”. Their friendship fell apart quickly after this, and my sister thinks that her ex-roommate was just being mean and that I’m “normal”. My sister says that I’m just introverted and don’t care about what people think about my behavior (I just can’t read social cues).

What should I do about this? This is getting very upsetting.

I'd love to have recommendations about MCs who used to absolutely hate each other but end up hooking up and dating in secret. It could be two mobsters who are enemies or just rivals in a university setting. I don't really mind either way. I just want all the characters to believe that they still hate each other, even though they're hooking up/catching feelings. I need actual drama. Not the kind of people where people find out about them and don't care. I want people to be shocked/mad when they find out about the relationship.

It's even better if the MCs absolutely despised each other when they start being intimate. Not like "Oh, I just disliked him but now after 2 chapters, he's my whole world".

My (24F) half-sister (16F) is my mom and her ex's daughter. Her dad was a narcissist and an abusive piece of crap. He treated her and my mom horribly for years, which is probably one of the reasons why she became the way she is. When my mom broke up with him, she became extra soft with my half-sister. Because of the trauma he put all of us through, she wanted to be gentle with her.

However, she grew up to be awful to my mom. It's not only a teenage thing, she was like this even as a child, but it just got worse once she was free of her dad's presence in the house. She treats my mom like shit. Disrespects her. Insults her to her face. She leaves the house to go drinking and partying with guys whenever she wants (yes, she's still 16). She can't bother to do even the simplest chore like throwing an empty bag of snacks in the trash. Yesterday, my mom asked her to change her sheets because she left crumbs all over them and her answer?: "That's YOUR job, not mine."

She's so manipulative too. If my mom refuses to do her a favor because of her behavior, she'll try to sway her by saying she's selfish, a bad mom, that she let her dad hit her when she was young. Everything she can say to get her way.

I'm getting really sick of her behavior. Our mom tried her best. She was stuck in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for years. She didn't have any leverage. She was a housewife and severely traumatized. My half-sister KNOWS this, but it's like she doesn't care. She's so self-centered that she can't be bother to think about how our mom feels. If something doesn't benefit her, she doesn't care.

Even if it doesn't seem like it, I do love her even if I don't like her right now. I never thought I'd have to say this someday, but she's becoming just like her dad, and it's truly disgusting. Once my mom accidentally ran into her without paying attention and pushed her, and she said "Push me one more time, and you'll be sorry."

My mom tried everything. She put her in therapy several times, but my half-sister always ends up not showing up and taking the money for herself so she can spend it on useless stuff like cigarettes. Then she has the audacity to complain to my mom that she doesn't care about her mental health.

I thought this was only a rebellious phase, but it's getting worse every year. My mom is reaching her breaking point, and it's becoming difficult for me to visit my mom without having at least one fight with my half-sister about her attitude. She doesn't want to hear anything.

Maybe that was bad of me, but I told her that if in a few years, she ends up living under a bridge because she can't be bothered to go to school, I won't lend her any money. She can forget about me.

I still love her, but if she stays that way as an adult, I'm not sure I will be able to stand her. Family is important to me. More important than anything, but I don't think I can tolerate this.

Truly heartwarming family moments always make me tear up, and I love seeing those in MM books. Could you recommend books that have moments like these?

Examples:

• MC meets his family for the first time, and it's emotional (like in Remade by Cara Dee).
• MC reconnects with his family, after a falling out or something else.
• MC has a strained relationship with his family, and it gets resolved in a very sweet/emotional way (like in You & Me by Tal Bauer).
• MC adopts a kid, and they become true family (like Gentry by Ashley James) / MC fully bonds with MC2's kid.

It can either be blood family, adopted family, or even found family. I'm fine with everything.