u/Diligent_Estimate_87

Holding space, giving grace, checking in, reaching out, etc. etc. I'm reaching out. I'm doing a mental health check-in. I'm leaving paragraphs and voicenotes of encouragement. I just...at what point is the ambiguity me not being patient enough and them just being selfish and a poor communicator? I have a handful of people in my life that I'm ready to leave behind. I'm so burdened. We are all "going through it". They aren't the only ones.

I've spent nearly a decade in the hagwon industry. I've worked at schools ranging from genuinely decent (even great on many days...for a hagwon) to absolute "what on earth is this nightmare?" territory. Don't worry, my worst hagwon had already been blacklisted multiple times.

I think it's great that people can post contracts here and get feedback before signing. Recruiters and hagwons can be incredibly convincing. They'll promise you the world if it means getting your signature.

These are some of the biggest red flags I've personally encountered. To some, it may seem obvious, but they aren't always obvious to someone moving to Korea for the first time.

This is just my personal experience. Take what is useful and leave the rest.

*If they're providing housing but barely mention it.

Your apartment is going to be your home for at least a year. If they spend twenty minutes talking about their beautiful school but conveniently gloss over where you'll be living, ask questions. Request recent photos. Ask about mold, bugs, the age of the building, the neighborhood, and whether previous teachers lived there.

The opposite can happen too. Sometimes they'll rave about a brand new officetel but tell you almost nothing about the school itself. A shiny apartment doesn't mean you won't be teaching in a building with moldy walls or sharing a classroom the size of a broom closet with several other teachers.

*"We're all family here."

Be careful! A healthy workplace has friendly coworkers and clear boundaries. Toxic workplaces often use "family" to justify expecting you to be available all the time. Your coworkers do not need to become your entire social circle.

Similarly, when they tell you "all the foreign teachers are best friends," ask yourself why they're emphasizing that.

I've made lifelong friends through hagwons, but I've also seen schools where your performance wasn't judged by your teaching. It was judged by how well you fit into office cliques. Your job shouldn't feel like a small town high school.

Bonus points if everyone lives in the same apartment complex. Hard pass.

*"Sign quickly and we'll pay you more."

Be skeptical of employers who suddenly become very generous if you sign immediately or complete your contract.

Ask yourself why they need to sweeten the deal so much. Are they trying to distract you from something? Is the extra money really enough to compensate for unpaid overtime, constant stress, or poor working conditions?

*"We're not like those chain hagwons."

Just because a school is independent or located in an expensive neighborhood doesn't automatically make it better. Judge the individual school, not the marketing.

Some premium academies charge parents premium tuition and expect absolute perfection from teachers. Higher tuition can sometimes mean even more micromanagement. A *slightly* higher pay isn’t worth burnout.

*The carefully selected foreign teacher

Many schools will have you speak with a foreign teacher during the interview process/if you have extra questions. (You may need to request to speak to a foreigner.)

That teacher *may* genuinely love the school, or they may be a head teacher, management's favorite, or someone whose career depends on keeping management happy.

Their experience can be VERY different from what yours will be.

In a decade, I only had one foreign teacher give me a completely honest picture of what I was walking into.

Also, pay attention to the email itself. Does it actually sound like it was written by a native English speaker? Sometimes "the foreign teacher" isn't actually the one writing.

*"The moms give amazing gifts!"

That's nice, but ask yourself what those gifts are compensating for.

Would you trade hours of unpaid grading, lesson planning, and report writing for a Starbucks gift card, a Shinsegae something, and some Paris Baguette pastries? Small perks don't erase poor working conditions.

*"We're like a real school."

Some schools advertise complete teaching freedom, custom lesson planning, or say they only hire experienced educators.

That sounds great until you realize "teaching freedom" sometimes means there is no curriculum and you're expected to build everything yourself after work.

Remember that hagwons are businesses first. If an unhappy parent demands changes, your professional opinion may not matter nearly as much as customer satisfaction.

If you're expected to create lessons, ask who pays for classroom materials.

*"Our teachers stay for years."

Long-term teachers can absolutely be a good sign, but don't assume they're proof the school is wonderful.

Some teachers stay because they love their school. Others stay because they're afraid of change, don't have the money to leave, or have become comfortable putting up with things they shouldn't. Length of employment isn't the whole story.

*"We give more vacation than the average hagwon."

Extra vacation is fantastic...just make sure everyone actually gets it.

Ask whether those benefits apply equally to all teachers. A contract can promise prep time, breaks, and vacation, but that doesn't guarantee management will honor it six months later.

*Bonus

If you decide to leave a toxic hagwon, don't be surprised if management suddenly promises that everything will change. In my experience, they rarely do.

Leaving a bad workplace often feels like leaving an unhealthy relationship. They make promises once they've realized you're serious about walking away.

Being skeptical of the hagwon industry is often mistaken for being bitter or anti-Korea. I don't think that's true. I loved many parts of my decade in Korea. I met incredible students, made lifelong friends, and had experiences I'll always be grateful for. I also learned that asking hard questions before signing a contract can save you from an incredibly difficult year. The goal is to help people recognize red flags before they're the ones posting, "I wish someone had warned me."

My resolution was to not help family member X under any circumstances. And I've stayed strong!

Have you ever met someone just so...aloof to their self-centeredness? Just...completely totally unaware of how much of a drain they are and how everyone is so burdened by their lack of accountability? And yet they're always protected emotionally and financially (generously) cushioned by their affluent parents who have never said no to them?

Meet X. An encyclopedia of issues, and you better not ask questions or try to get to the bottom of it because then you'll get the shit kicked out of you by your mom for not believing everything immediately, you *invalidating narcissist*.

Last year, X decided to run their usual little hustle of taking, taking, taking and screwing everyone over. I got stiffed at my own wedding, (reddit: please read--X isn't poor!), then proceeded to spend a ton of time writing paragraphs to X to help them with their problems (was never thanked), and THEN I proceeded to give X a giant bag of very nice clothes. (I absolutely did not receive a thank you.)

Wow, this is exhausting! X totally makes more than I do and I have two jobs! Why am I putting up with such shitty treatment and why am I giving to such a shit person? Oh yeah, I'm a pathological people pleaser and if I don't I'll have hell to pay!

And then I realized....I'M AN ADULT AND IF MY MOTHER GIVES ME HELL FOR NOT ENABLING X SHE CAN SHOVE IT!

So, this year. A few months later, X drops in. Uh-oh. They want something. I didn't answer. It's 2026. I don't want to. X contacts my mother. Another uh-oh. I'll have hell to pay! I'm not budging. It's a new year and my mother can shove it.

Fast forward to yesterday. I'm asked if I can find a person for X to date. THEN I'm asked if I can go clean X's house. For free of course. Both requests in the same hour!

What year is it? What's my resolution?

NOPE! 💪💪💪