u/DirectSun3034

I've been feeling this numbness creep in for about a year now and the past couple months its really set in. Like I dont feel anything no joy, no excitement, no curiosity no nothing.

I dont like doing anything anymore nothing entertains me nothing resonates with me at all.

And nothing feels important to me not even myself.

I'm in my mid 30's ever since I was little I had the dream of going to Japan I'm a few months away from going on a long trip to Asia. I will be starting in Japan and I think I might get there and feel nothing. I will have achieved a childhood dream of mine but I will probably just feel nothing about it maybe I waited too long to go.

I dont think I'm depressed because I still go to work, I still hit my workout, I still stick to my intermittent fasting.

I dont have any friends or family (I broke contact with my family a long time ago because they are bad for me). I've been on my own a long time maybe thats part of whats brought this on.

Any adversities in my life I have faced alone and theres definitely been some uphill battles so maybe my soul is tired.

I just hope when I get to Japan maybe something inside me will wake up. But I will be going nonetheless I will do it for the kid who I once was and would see Japan on TV and be in awe at what I'm seeing.

Maybe its the state of perpetual crisis the world seems to be in before one crisis is over the news is rolling in the next one. Maybe its because the world governments are happy to see the prices steadily increasing each month while everyone is struggling to get ahead.

I now have a desire for desire. I desire to be able to fill my time with things I enjoy I like being in my own space watching movies, playing videogames or listening to music. But it's got to a point where it doesnt do anything for me anymore.

Games performance has taken a big hit since season 3 dropped I keep getting network issues stating my ping is 700+. It makes my game slow down by like 50% while everyone else is playing at normal speed.

This mostly happens on the new map but seems to be happening across all maps to some extent.

It makes the game unplayable, the games been out 7 months how is it still in such bad shape.

Hitreg feels worse than ever almost every death feels like I get hit by 1 bullet but the damage report states it was like 4-6 hits.

Also did engineers get nerfed? I'm shooting and RPG directly into the back of a tank and seems to barely do 10% health. As if tanks werent already OP now they got a buff in armour which will only promote those level 300+ players to hide in them even more.

Definitely the last BF I buy, might even get MW4 cod is a dead franchise but at least I get 0 performance issues in their games.

Is anyone else getting the same issues or am I just unlucky and for the record this is the ONLY game that gives me such issues.

For a very long time now my Outlook fails to sync emails correctly so instead just shows me a whole bunch of random emails from years ago.

If I want to find a specific email I have to use the search function.

For now im resorted to using third party email apps does anyone have a fix for the desync issue with Outlook?

Everytime you see the enemy. You look stupid and you make the game feel stupid and 9/10 it doesnt work.

I play on controller and have to say BF6 has the worst controls in regards to the helicopter. They feel counter intuitive and feel like the controls fight against you.

BF3 & BF4 had the best controls imo

In the sense I started life with optimism like JD and Turk now that I'm older I'm more cynical like Dr. Cox 😂