u/Disintegrate2405

I (37M) have been with my girlfriend (32F) for 10 years and we are engaged. I have no complaints with our sex life, but recently she has developed a real thing for wanting to watch me masturbate. I’m totally happy with this, although it has surprised me how it seemed to come out of nowhere when it’s never been a thing before.

We’ve masturbated in front of each other plenty of times in the past but this is different in that she has an ever expanding list of things she wants me to do, noises she wants me to make and things she wants me to say. Recently her thing has been wanting to see my toes curl when I orgasm (apparently this is something I do and she finds it hot - I had no idea). This is all great and I want her to be turned on, but I am really struggling to get over feeling self conscious and silly when I am doing this and it sometimes affects my arousal. This is never an issue when I am masturbating privately or during sex.

Does anyone have any advice for how I can get over this and just let myself go more? I like doing this for her but want to stop overthinking.

Ok so this might be a bit of a random question that will make me sound like a naive idiot. Is there a thing among some gay/bi men about keeping socks on during sex?

I’m a recently out bisexual man. Had plenty of relationships with women in the past and they would always take their socks off during sex, if they were wearing any to begin with. However I’ve been with a few guys since I accepted my bisexuality and they seem more inclined to keep their socks on. It’s not a huge issue for me although I am generally turned on by me and my partner being totally naked during sex and that includes our feet! I certainly feel much more natural and comfortable in my bare feet during sex.

I’ve had a few occasions where I’ve stopped to ask a guy if he minds taking his socks off - they are always fine about it and it’s never been an issue, however I have been wondering if it’s “a thing” since I also see it in gay porn quite often.

Fully aware I’m probably being naive but just wondered if anyone had any thoughts, from men or women? Thanks!

Ok so this might be a bit of a random question that will make me sound like a naive idiot. Is there a thing among some gay/bi men about keeping socks on during sex?

I’m a recently out bisexual man. Had plenty of relationships with women in the past and they would always take their socks off during sex, if they were wearing any to begin with. However I’ve been with a few guys since I accepted my bisexuality and they seem more inclined to keep their socks on. It’s not a huge issue for me although I am generally turned on by me and my partner being totally naked during sex and that includes our feet! I certainly feel much more natural and comfortable in my bare feet during sex.

I’ve had a few occasions where I’ve stopped to ask a guy if he minds taking his socks off - they are always fine about it and it’s never been an issue, however I have been wondering if it’s “a thing” since I also see it in gay porn quite often.

Fully aware I’m probably being naive but just wondered if anyone had any thoughts? Thanks!

To briefly give some background, I’m a 37 year old bisexual man who exclusively dated women for the first 30+ years of my life. I was in a long term relationship with a woman and we were engaged but this ended a couple of years ago, though we remained friends. Although I always labelled myself straight, I have felt attraction to men since my teenage years but never allowed myself to explore it. I was becoming increasingly preoccupied with my sexuality and eventually I had to accept that straight men simply don’t masturbate while thinking about naked men as often as I do. Eventually I felt comfortable with the bisexual label and had sex with a man for the first time aged 35.

I am now in my first proper relationship with a man and this was going great at first. Our sex life was great, I started out as a top but have progressed to bottoming as I get really turned on by being submissive during sex. I didn’t initially tell him I was bi and didn’t think it was that big a deal, but he found out recently when we were speaking about ex-partners. To say it has not gone down well would be an understatement.

He constantly asks if I miss being with women and if I think about women while we’re having sex. More troublingly he has started being really quite derogatory about women in front of me, verging on being misogynistic. Basically saying that he doesn’t understand how I could ever have been attracted to women and how he gets really turned off by the idea of my penis being near a woman. We had a big argument about this last night. Embarrassed to admit I started crying and he did apologise but things still feel not great. I’ve been crying on and off all day today.

He’s got me really second guessing myself in terms of how I behave in and out of bed. I now find myself feeling that I somehow need to act “more gay” in day to day life, which I know is completely stupid. During sex I find myself doubting myself, am I not making enough noise so it seems like I’m not into it, or am I making too much noise and he thinks I’m faking and overdoing it etc.

Sorry for the long rambling post but I would appreciate others’ thoughts on how I can deal with this? I know I probably should end things and move on but I’m kind of scared as I feel a bit isolated. My family didn’t respond entirely positively to me coming out as bi and I worry about being alone.

Thanks for reading, does anyone have any advice or similar experiences, men or women?

It’s great to read so many stories about people who have had really positive experiences, however I am starting to really regret coming out and wondering if anyone has experienced similar.

I’m a 37 year old bisexual man and a bit of a late bloomer. Dated women my whole life and was engaged to a woman until I was 35. When we split up I started to explore my attraction to men which I had always repressed. I’ve watched a lot of gay porn in my life and often think about men while masturbating but always tended to reject this afterwards due to shame. My family aren’t explicitly homophobic but can be casually so.

Since I came out I feel like friends and family are really awkward and different around me. It’s like there’s always an elephant in the room and most people just seem to see me as gay now and don’t understand the concept of bisexuality.

I also have a boyfriend who they seem to have no interest in. He has gone in the opposite direction to my family. I didn’t tell him I was bi right away and he obviously assumed I was gay (probably understandable). Since he found out I’ve slept with/had relationships with women, he has become obsessed with this, asks if I miss being with a woman and if I think about women when I’m having sex with him (which I definitely don’t). He also made a comment recently about me maybe not being “gay enough” for him.

All of this has made me really miserable and I almost wish I just hadn’t bothered. I would appreciate hearing if anyone has been in a similar position. I am wondering if I am being a bit unreasonable and if I should be a bit more patient in terms of giving people time to process this change? Gratefully for any advice, thanks.