Hey guys, I’m 19M. Two years ago, while preparing for an engineering entrance exam, one of my friends introduced me to his relative online. She was my age and lived around 200 km away from me. We started talking daily and eventually got into a long-distance relationship.
Early on, I found out she had a male best friend she talked to a lot. I was insecure about it at the time, but I ignored it because I trusted her. She used to message me constantly, stay up late talking to me, and made me feel genuinely loved for the first time in a very long while.
After almost 8 months of our relationship, that “male best friend” messaged me asking who I was to her. I told him the truth and even sent screenshots of our chats. He was completely shocked and told me that he was actually her boyfriend for the past 1.5 years, lived in the same town as her, and that she had been lying to him about me too.
That moment completely shattered me
I confronted her and stopped talking to her for a while. Somehow, despite knowing everything, I still gave her another chance because I loved her deeply and couldn’t imagine losing her. But two weeks later she broke my trust again after promising she would change. That’s when I finally ended things.
When I broke up with her, she cried on call, begged me not to leave, swore she would stay loyal forever, and said she would wait for me until our exams ended next year. Despite everything she had done, a part of me still believed her words because I genuinely loved her with all my heart.
After the breakup, I blocked her everywhere and spent the next year trying to rebuild myself. I focused completely on studying. I worked hard for an entire year and managed to get decent marks in my engineering entrance exam, but not good enough for the top colleges I had dreamed about for years. I was already mentally exhausted and disappointed in myself.
Recently, the month finally came in which we had promised we would talk again after our exams. Somewhere deep down, I still thought maybe she had kept her word. Maybe she still cared. Maybe all those promises weren’t completely fake.
But before I could even process my own feelings, something else happened.
Two days ago, her current boyfriend messaged me on Instagram asking about my past with her. I told him the truth that she had cheated before and that he should be careful. He told me they’ve been dating for 4 months, that she approached him first, and that they’ve already gotten very serious.
What hurt me the most was that after knowing the entire truth, her current boyfriend asked her who she actually loved. She told him that she was attracted to him, but still “in love” with me. Hearing that completely messed with my mind and emotions.
Ever since my parents passed away, she was the first person who made me feel emotionally safe and truly loved again. That’s probably why this breakup destroyed me so badly. It wasn’t just losing a relationship it felt like losing the only person I emotionally depended on.
I know the obvious answer is to move on and never contact her again, but emotionally I still feel stuck. Part of me still misses her badly even after everything she did to me, and sometimes I honestly hate myself for still feeling this attached to her.
Right now I just feel lost, confused, and emotionally drained If anyone here has gone through something similar, please tell me how you finally let go and moved on. I genuinely need help.