u/Downtown-Storm4704

I've seen reports that Madrid alone had something like 2,800 aux placements. I'm genuinely wondering what happens if they don't go ahead with the aux program next year what exactly will happen? Will they end up hiring locally to fill the spots for the school year, or do the schools just have to manage without auxes since they can't exactly hire auxes? Would the school save money that would go towards having an aux assigned for that year and I guess the ministry sure would do? Is it cheaper for them not to have auxes period rather than pay the required social security 🧐

The way things are going with the world economy, it feels like everything is stacked against regular people. Jobs aren’t stable, inflation keeps eating away at wages, and it’s hard to see how anyone is supposed to build a secure future anymore. The regular Joe is even screwed before they even start out without financial backing from family.

What worries me most is the idea of having kids in this environment. It feels like unless parents can give their children a serious financial head start, they’re already at a disadvantage from day one. And I don’t have that kind of money to pass on.

I’m already struggling just to keep up--working hard every paycheck, trying to stay afloat while prices keep rising, and at the same time knowing I probably won’t retire comfortably either. It feels like you’re stuck sacrificing everything just to survive.

So I keep wondering: if I devoted my life to raising a child under these conditions--stretching myself financially and emotionally--what kind of future would I even be giving them? And would they even remember or show up when it all ends, after a lifetime of struggle just to keep things together? There's no guarantee they'd even come to my funeral but would be first to line up for any inheritance $$$$ however small, after I spent a lifetime sacrificing everything financially and emotionally just to reach 60 and realize that I don't have anything even support from my child apart from put in a home as I'm incapacitated

Everyone talks about the excitement of moving abroad, the adventure, the fresh start, the possibilities. But nobody really talks about what it's like when it's time to pack up your entire life you created abroad and leave.

There's a unique kind of sadness in boxing up everything you own, saying goodbye to places that became familiar, and returning to a place that once felt like home but no longer feels the same. Sometimes you're leaving behind a life that never fully came together, a half-finished chapter filled with what-ifs. Other times, you've built a real community, found people who became family, and the thought of leaving them behind feels heartbreaking.

In some ways, it's easier if you never made deep connections abroad. In other ways, it's lonelier as you're packing up everything alone and literally leaving like another immigrant and the city will move without you there and life as do people..but in that time so have people you left back home and you won't return to the same place you left is even harder. And if you did find your people abroad, the grief of leaving can be overwhelming.

Living far from family also comes with a constant weight. Hearing news about loved ones getting older, becoming ill, or passing away while you're thousands of miles away is one of the hardest parts of being abroad. No one really prepares you for that. Every year it gets harder so sometimes the easiest and right thing is to just move back. it's heartbreaking to *always* miss something and just not be there

Moving abroad is often talked about as a beginning. Moving back can feel like an ending, a loss, and a homecoming all at once. How do you ever come to terms with leaving a life you built abroad? No one ever saw it or experienced it apart from you so leaving that all behind is the hardest thing to do. and sometimes if you go back you can never go back in the same way due to visas so if you leave it's grieving so much also the possibility to stay somewhere indefinitely while you could

Prep, marking and corrections sometimes go unpaid--all for just €8–15 an hour. On top of that, some teachers are expected to do locking-up duties or other extra responsibilities. Even if you’re lucky enough to get 20 teaching hours a week X corrections for all students, say if it's a group of seven KET students, you need to mark all their work plus exam corrections on top. there’s still a huge amount of unpaid time spent staying behind to prep lessons, do admin and correct work, especially when schools don’t give enough allocated non teaching time. Some do, some don’t. Personally, I struggle to get everything done during teaching hours and only get about an hour for prep. Is this normal? Do teachers usually get more dedicated prep time than this? it's just a lot to keep on top of not to mention record keeping and student reports at the end of each semester.

I know the economic situation is tough for adults right now, especially when it comes to dating and building an independent life. It seems like many millennials in Spain are struggling financially and can’t really afford full adulthood on their own. They rely heavily on parental support due to low salaries, unstable contracts, and housing costs. Meanwhile, funcionarios *still* seem to have the strongest long-term security: stable employment, pensions, home ownership, and protection from economic downturns and work life balance.

A lot of other people seem dependent on family money well into their 40s and 50s. Meanwhile, some funcionarios have held the same positions for 20–30+ years and seem to have one of the few truly secure career paths left in Spain, including a guaranteed retirement from the state. From what I’ve observed, funcionarios appear to be among the few people with genuine long-term security in Spain stable, they were able to buy without relying heavily on parental support.

It makes me wonder: is becoming a funcionario -- or marrying one -- basically the only reliable way to achieve long-term stability in Spain today? Their pensions and employment protections still seem far more secure than what most private-sector workers have. heck they seem to have stability than any other regular worker in Spain just by being unfireable. I'm sure many would take that than the insecurity of pay raises based on experience.

How financially secure are ordinary Spanish people really in 2026? Are funcionarios *still* the most financially secure group in Spain now or are they too struggling just as much as everyone else? Is there any truth to the joke "just marry a funcionario and you'll be good"? Or two Spanish households, with one person at least a funcionario for security. I know funcionarios are kind of hated on too because maybe there's also jealousy but not all are lazy paper pushers and they do work hard too especially if they are police.

I’ve noticed a big contrast in Spain between people now in their 40s–50s and their parents’ generation when it comes to relationships and family life. And I’m not only talking about economic instability. Some people I know are funcionarios or high-earning professionals, own 2–3 pisos, working in Madrid or Barcelona and are financially stable by Spanish standards, sometimes even sharing homes more for lifestyle than necessity.

What stands out is how many people remain single, unwed, childfree, or generally non-committal compared to previous generations. I also notice a strong casual dating culture, especially through apps, along with overlapping relationships and cheating. Long-term commitment and marriage seem far less central than they once were. Some may have wanted a partner or family at one point but it simply never happened for different reasons. I notice this among women too, though in my experience it seems especially visible among men.

The contrast with their parents or grandparents is striking. Older generations often stayed married for life and built their identity around family, while many people today live independently, sometimes in inherited family homes without forming families of their own. Maybe there’s simply less social and economic pressure now than there used to be to stay in relationships or get married compared to older generations. I mean avoiding divorce by not getting married in the first place is saving a lot of money for sure 😂 but in general I've noticed there's *way* too much cheating going on the apps from partnered men with no shame at all so even if they are with someone they don't want to be..it's wild..people prefer to keep things very casual and date for a *long* time compared to the US.

I notice my friends visit their parents all the time, and it seems to keep those relationships strong through the years, maybe they live across the road and live in another family property. And I guess close friendships can also help fill some of the space that might otherwise be occupied by a partner. I know this isn’t unique to Spain and exists across much of Europe, but it feels especially noticeable here. Do people think this is mainly about changing values and expectations around relationships, or are there deeper social and cultural reasons behind it? I thought Spain was still traditional like the rest of Southern Europe.

Living with a partner, I (F, late 30s) and him (M, late 40s) had its comforts..I only shared space with one person. Now I’m back to living with four or five others, and it feels like a big adjustment. I’ve also lost some independence, like having access to a car (even if it was his), and I realize how much I relied on him for little things, fixing a light bulb, handling day-to-day issues, even helping with the language and I guess just stability. I could never afford an apartment and a car on my own. We used to travel all the time together in his car, mini trips around his country and grocery shopping. It was the ordinary moments that felt so good, everything just seemed easier together as a couple. Now it’s back to a bus pass and watching my wallet. He was the breadwinner, so going from that life to having roomies and living like a student again has been a tough adjustment. Meanwhile, my friends from college are buying homes and having another baby, which isn't easy to hear.. also happily married.

We’ve said we’d stay friends, but I know I want to date again, and that could get awkward. I guess I’m trying to figure out how to pull myself out of this rut while living abroad and rebuild my sense of independence and a fair shot at life again. How do you go back to being single after being with someone for 7+ years and living with them plus depending so much on them. Their friends were mine and I've lost everything overnight whereas they haven't. I feel like I’ve lost my footing, while they’ve held on to the same sense of stability and security. It's hit me worse and feels unfair. Even the small moments hit like making dinner and realizing they’re not there to ask, “Do you want more?” or “Here you go,” or even just, “lets go out and grab a beer!” Plating food just for myself honestly feels hollow, cooking, eating, dining out, meals used to be something shared, and the kitchen felt like our sacred space. I miss having someone there, the way they’d drop things on a whim and be spontaneous with me and preparing meals for someone, knowing what they like and making it to suprise them. They were my only roomie and bff for a long time. I miss feeling seen by someone daily, comfortable enough to live together. After dealing with psycho roomies, being back in that position again is really unsettling.

Curious if anyone else has experienced this.

Like living in a country for a long time--10 years or so--building a whole life there, routines, relationships, memories, buying a house, a car… and then leaving one day and just never returning. Not even for a visit. Like setup life somewhere, sold everything and just left to never look back?

Maybe it ended because of something personal, like a breakup, or maybe life just moved on. But instead of going back, you kind of choose to leave that place as a closed chapter.

I’ve always wondered how common that is. Especially the part where people avoid going back not because they hated it, but because they’d rather remember it how it was than see it differently now.

Anyone relate?

I live abroad and love the expat lifestyle, but one of my biggest fears is getting pregnant and then not being able to freely leave the country for 18+ years. She is stuck and dare I say, trapped for a long time.

A friend of mine is currently in a custody situation under the Hague Convention. She has two children, but after separating from her partner, she can’t permanently leave the country--or even travel freely--without his signed consent through courts. In practice, she’s effectively tied to where she lives until the children turn 18 unless he agrees otherwise. Even short trips require permission, and he refuses to sign off on anything longer, authorities would be alerted if she did without his approval. I think she's only allowed 2 weeks max a year out of the country and if it's longer she needs his permission (even for 2 weeks as a matter or fact-- everything is communicated in court) so it's not only looking after her kids, it's the added stress and chaos of balancing a delicate custody situation, emotionally and financially raising two kids and without much support of her own in a foreign language and system, no family nearby.

From the outside, her life looked perfect--very “picture-perfect family” on Instagram--but the reality is very different. What’s made it more striking is that she once questioned my choices, saying I was too cautious or “unstable” for not being married or having children yet.

It’s made me realize how unpredictable life can be and how little you can tell from appearances. Having children abroad and raising a bicultural bilingual family can sound like a dream, but it can also come with serious legal and emotional complications if things go wrong--especially in cross-border custody situations where your freedom to move can disappear almost entirely.

I’ve always felt a strong connection to both Northern and Southern Europeans, especially Spaniards, but I feel even closer to Irish people than say the British. I would’ve thought it was England, but even though we share the same language, we’re actually quite different. I felt like an outsider in England, compared to other European countries, where I actually felt more welcome. It surprised me, because on one hand it can feel similar to the U.S. in some ways, but at the same time it also feels more closed off. I didn’t realize there would be such a big culture shock, especially compared to somewhere else in Europe like Spain.

I’ve always felt that Americans and Spaniards have a lot in common, which is why Americans who move to Spain often seem to settle in so naturally. For me, it’s also personal--I grew up speaking Spanish, and there’s always felt like a strong connection between the U.S. and Spain. Unsurprisingly, I ended up choosing to live there. I know plenty of Americans moving here and raising bicultural, bilingual families who have integrated well, whereas you might think--with borders and everything--it would be easier culturally for Europeans, but that isn’t always the case.

That’s made me curious about cultural fit more broadly: which European countries feel the most like “this could almost be the U.S.” in terms of lifestyle and mindset, and which ones feel familiar and comfortable but still clearly and distinctly European..where did you feel most “at home”?