u/Due-Vermicelli-2883

I wonder if this is part of the process? Because I’ve distanced myself for a long time and saturated and affirmed to where I kind of realised and I don’t really care too much.I’ve been focusing a lot more on myself lately, mindfulness, staying present, grounding, redirecting my energy, and not obsessively checking the 3D. I still do affirmations/saturation, but I’m trying to make it feel more like part of life rather than my whole life.

What’s confusing me is my feelings towards my SP have shifted and idk. I still want him, but I feel weirdly… calm? Sometimes avoidant? Sometimes like I’m weirdly “over it” but not actually over it? when I visualise us, sometimes it feels almost like a memory or an after the fact feeling, rather than longing.
Also, I’m noticing I’m less emotionally obsessed. I still think about him because obviously I like him, but I’m enjoying my own life way more, and just feeling more peaceful in general. I feel like the reason why I haven’t seen in my 3d is that I do struggle with them SP and stuff. I still have those limited beliefs tight tied towards him so despite them knowing it’s just kind of like I’m still thinking like okay how is it gonna come and not obsessively but here and there. L I promise I’m actively rejecting all of that and it’s become easier now.its just that im focusing on other manifestations I haven’t really had a chance to saturate on my SP properly (now that I’ve got the hang of things) but im also feeling avoidant in doing so I don’t know it’s a weird feeling. Although it’s not something I’m dwelling but I’ve noticed and I’m curious. I swear i hate being aware of my like ascension bc it feels like watching paint dry😭😭.

I’d like some advise on this. Im not new to manifesting or loa but I was never consistent until this year. The previous year was extremely difficult and that taught me to always stay on top of things and have my guard up which makes it really difficult when manifesting I feel like I need to control the 3d to feel safe. Ik it does work all like no longer being in debt and being rewarded 6k passing my theory test etc. these are all things i forgotten about until it happened . That’s the thing it’s easy to let go when it’s forgotten. Currently I’m trying to work on my self concept, a trip to France (which I need permission to go TODAY), exams and an sp (which I’ve avoided persisting in lately). It’s hard not to think with adhd and a lot of free time. I feel like I must stay in alignment at all times but I slip into doubt. Im having a hard time navigating my journey, for now I stick to burning incense, meditating listening to subliminals and having inner conversations it helps but I feel like I’m doing too much. I need help guyis.😭