u/Due_Independent5895

Partner dropped me off at my mums at 1pm, he was going to go see his friend to have lunch and then come back to my mums so we could all spend a little time together. It hits 9 and he still hasn’t left, my mum sleeps early. It hits 10 now and he still hasn’t left. But I have to leave so I explain to him look I have to leave now because my mum needs to lock her door, bare in mind he lost a set of are keys, so he has the only keys. He says he left and then ten minutes later messages me that he’s only 44 minutes away. So I get a cab home.

I finally get home, and call him and he still hasnt left. I live in an extremely extremely rough area. He thinks it’s funny and is laughing on the phone. I lost my shit I cussed him out. Now it’s 12 and he still hasn’t left… I’m still waiting outside, so I broke up with him. He’s forcing me to send him proof I’m actually outside which I am and I just found that even weirder. My phones dying, I don’t live locally to anyone I know, it hits 12:40 so I knock on the neighbours door and ask if I can climb the garden fence as I knew I had left the garden door unlocked they let me thankfully.

I pack all my partners stuff in bin bags. He has the nerve to come home at 2am and call me childish, and then say “it’s not like I was cheating I was just with my friends” my problem isn’t that he was with his friends my problem is that he left me outside alone knowing I was alone in a bad bad area for 3 hrs and if I hadn’t knocked on the neighbours door I would’ve been outside until 2? Are you for real? And he also got upset I involved the neighbours.

Am I being dramatic or is this not a really bad thing to do to someone you claim to love and care for? Because I would never do it.

Edit:

I just want to thank you all so much for your responses, and for taking your own time out of your day to respond to me and make my feelings feel validated as sometimes I can genuinely be a moron, and in the past have been very quick to forgive.

I will not go back, and thank you for ensuring I wasn’t dramatic, as I was starting to feel that maybe I did over react but it’s clear as day I didn’t and my two year relationship genuinely meant nothing!

Thank you again ❤️

Last edit:

He finally woke up and started to apologise I told him he didn’t even know why he was apologising and he went on to say I’m just possessive, controlling and dramatic. That’s I shouldn’t have messaged him that many times or called that many times. I just said whatever i can’t be asked to argue, I’m dramatic I’m dramatic this is why your apology’s mean nothing because you’ll apologise and then blame me regardless, but we’re finished. So you don’t have to worry about me being controlling or possessive anymore, you go your way and I’ll go mine.

Again thank you to all of you that responded, I appreciate it more than words can explain ❤️

Another update:

Apparently I’m an evil and deranged person when things don’t go my way and I’m someone no one can start a future or a family with

1 (35 female) and my husband (37) live in a small home with our 3 kids. Slight back story, he has a son (16) from a previous marriage, I have a daughter from a previous marriage (14) and we have a daughter together (12) and have been together for 14 years. The upstairs is quite small (literally takes 3 steps to make it down the hallway) and the only bathroom is directly across from both girls bedrooms. My husband has a bad habit of not taking clothes into the bathroom for after his shower, and by bad habit I mean he purposely doesn't do it because he doesn't care to. Now he does wear a towel, but I've told him so many times that I'd prefer he gets dressed in the bathroom like most people do because we have tween girls and one of the is his step daughter... but he continues to disregard that boundary. One time the girls and I were in our bedroom when he came in in his towel to get dressed and the step daughter looked visually uncomfortable. I brought this up to him later and he acted like that wasn't true and when I got upset about it he acted like I was overreacting. Now, he also will just cover his junk with a shirt when going to the bathroom after sex or hangout in the living room in his underwear at night (when they're sleeping with doors open) and get upset when I ask him to throw shorts on. He'll even try to do this when they have sleep overs. Just the underwear in the living room part. Is my frustration an overreaction? He is covered up.

EDIT: I'm new to Reddit so I'm not sure how it usually works, but this has been posted for 2 hours with over 10k views yet it still says it's pending admin approval so I can't reply to any comments, or even read all of them without tapping on each notification individually. I wanted to add a few things though. I see how being in a towel from one room to another is okay and I love the idea of getting him a robe for Father's Day! So thank you for those suggestions. I 100% don't feel like his behaviors are at all predatory, he just lacks boundaries and apparently the ability to see how it's weird behaviour. During sleepovers, he says it's okay because he's sitting down with a blanket on his lap... but it still bothers me. And being 90% naked after sex, walking to the bathroom with his butt out... like, the 12 yr olds bedroom is directly across from the bathroom... we don't know if she's awake. I'm just not sure how else to push this boundary without it being another argument about me being ridiculous.

I have an 4 year old and a 1 year old. Since summer has started we have went on several trips. I always tell my 4 year old that unless we are inviting the neighbors we don’t need to tell them every detail about the trips, or every time we go get ice cream/ snowcones. He ask why and I explained that I don’t want them to feel left out. They don’t go many places. They are inside most days.

We will set up the pool in our front yard and invite them over for that or for jumping on the trampoline. We don’t have the funds to take these kids on our trips. We work really hard to give our kids great memories. I do feel a sense of guilt since these kids aren’t getting the same fun memories. Their mom says no to them coming to play in our pool/trampoline about half the time. Which is fine but they have a blast. They have told me on multiple occasions how fun my house is.

My 4 year old has gotten better about not bringing up our trips and treats. This morning I was sitting in the backyard and my son ran over to our gate and started talking with the mom next door. She was getting her kids loaded up in her car. My kid said hi!! And asked if his friends could come jump on the trampoline with him. She said no they can’t. She proceeded to tell him they are going to a pool party with their cousins. She said they would be gone all day and there was gonna be pizzas and snow cones for the kids. She told him they’d wouldn’t get home till later tonight and they would be too tired to play with him. My son asked if he could come and she said no. I would not have let him go either way because I don’t fully trust her.

I heard everything from the other side of the yard. I was kind of peeved because I felt she could have just said not today and left it at that. AIO or was that really rude to tell my 4yo about all their fun plans and then tell him he can’t come? I can understand if she wanted to invite him but she had no intentions of doing that. I can also understand if it was one of his friends telling him all about it cuz their excitement but they were already buckled up in the car. Anyways AIO or was that rude?

I see some are saying I’m judging this woman. Which yes I am. I already have a strong distaste for how she treats her kids. I have had to call the cops for a welfare check because she kept leaving her 4 and 6 year old home alone for hours at a time. Even after I offered to keep them if she needs to run errands. She also keeps taking back her abusive boyfriend and letting him stay there. Her 4 year old has literally acted out a slap across the head that he got from this guy. I tried to be her friend but she proved pretty quickly that she is a user- like suck you dry. A lot of her choices are not something I can get behind and nothing I really want my kids around.

So I’ve been talking to this boy for a couple of months and it has been going fine.We rarely see each other because he works longs hours and I have a quite busy life,but to make up for this we call frequently Im I’m talking all night all day until he goes to work.During these calls he would make little sexual comments that would make me uncomfortable,as someone who isn’t a very affectionate person and also because we just started to really get to know each other so to me it seemed very lustful .I brought this issue to him as I really liked him and what we had going on and he apologized and I believed we could move past it but he started to make these jokes again .Now this wasn’t the deal breaker for me I moved past it because some people are just really flirty I guess .The thing that threw me off was that he started acting very controlling and insecure ,making comments like “I’ll let you be otp wit who you otp with” when I would be to busy to call him almost as if I had no life outside of him.I started to feel very trapped and felt as if I had to invalidate my feelings to satisfy his. We would have very good times but he would frequently start very small and petty arguments about things ranging from where I am to who I follow to when I get up. I just feel very drained and emotionally tired I wonder since this is just the talking stage how would a relationship be. He has talked about past relationships and how they have caused him to be insecure but why is that being pushed onto me? when I have done nothing to negatively affect our relationship. Should I break it off?or stick it out and see if this is something we can resolve.

Ps: I am 17 and this is the closest I’ve come to a serious relationship as I usually prefer my solitude and peace

Ps: please hold any negative comments this is my first time using this app and truly would just like advice🩷

So, here’s the deal: I’m 43, he’s 45, and we were married for 12 years with three kids. Eight years ago, out of the blue, he left.

No big fight, no dramatic exit just a packed bag and a half-baked excuse about needing to “find himself.” At first, he picked up the phone now and then, but soon enough, that stopped too. No child support, no birthday calls, nothing. Just silence.

Those early years were tough. I juggled two jobs, raising our kids solo. There were nights when I went to bed hungry so they could eat. I even sold family heirlooms just to make ends meet. Our oldest had to ditch extracurriculars because I couldn’t afford them.

The kids? They struggled. For years, they couldn’t understand why their dad chose to be absent. I couldn’t provide them with any answers.

Eventually, we found our stride. I landed a better job, the kids grew up, and we adjusted to life without him. It wasn’t a walk in the park, but we made it.

Then, out of nowhere, a few months ago, he shows up at my door.

Turns out, things haven’t been going great for him. He claims he regrets leaving, insists he was immature and selfish, and has supposedly spent years coming to terms with that mistake. He was in tears, begging for forgiveness, saying he wants his family back, wants to be the husband and father he never was.

I told him absolutely not.

I made it clear that he can’t just vanish during the toughest times and expect to waltz back in when it’s convenient for him. The kids are nearly grown. Those years of worry, sacrifice, and struggle were all ours without him.

Some family members think I’m being heartless, that I should give him another shot because people can change. Others are on my side, saying I’m right to stand my ground.

He keeps calling, insisting that everyone deserves a second chance and that I’m punishing him forever for one mistake.

I don’t harbor any hatred toward him, but I also don’t feel like I owe him a second chance after carrying this family on my own for almost a decade.

So, am I overreacting by saying no to letting him back into our lives?

I'm using a throw away since this involves my kid and I'm part of local community groups on my main. I'm sorry if this all pretty ramblely.

There's a new teacher at my kids after school daycare. My first ever interaction with him didn't really give me a great impression. Now, I know my kid can be a lot. She has behaviors that we've been working on, I'm stuck on a wait-list for therapy for her. I'm sure his first impression wasn't the best either, since the first time I met him he was telling me about an incident he had with her.

I don't have any problem with him telling me about her behaviors. In fact, I appreciate knowing because I can't do anything on my end when no one tells me what she did. My problem with this interaction was the way he was seemingly talking down my kids step dad during this conversation.

The run down is basically that the day before my kid had had a meltdown and was incredibly rude to him. Her stepdad had picked her up that day, this teacher told him about what had happened. When I came home she was already in time out and we talked about what happened and further punishment. The next day when I pick her up, this teacher stops me and asks if I'm mom and starts telling me about the incident as well. He says he wasn't sure who picked her up yesterday and didn't think he took it very seriously. The way he said it felt weird, almost like he was trying to pit us against each other. But at the time chalked it up to just him wanting to make sure I was aware, since my kid only has me, her mom, listed in her information and no dad listed (her stepdad is only listed as an "authorized pick up" and not a parent). So I apologized on my daughters behalf and assured him we talked about it and it was being handled. He made another comment about being told she has "lots of meltdowns" and I again I assure him it's something we're aware of and working on at home.

I don't know why, but something about the whole interaction sat wrong with me. I have conversations with her teachers all the time about the behaviors and never left feeling like the way I did from that conversation. It felt condescending as all hell. And again, I know my kid is a lot and that her behavior is inappropriate. I never deny this in any conversation, I never argue against what her teachers say or make any excuses. But it's almost like he expected me to punish her right then and there for him to watch? Like the fact that he wasn't completely looped in on how we handled it that must mean we're doing nothing? And when I talked to my partner about it, he said he doesn't know how he could've gotten that impression since he told my kid right then and there that she was in trouble and that they would be talking about this at home, and made her apologize to him.

I was going to just let it go, but then he made another comment today. For context, my kid really has one jacket right now. It's been her main outerwear this whole school year and so it's seen a lot of wear and tear. We have hoodies but she refuses to wear them to school. A side effect of a health condition of hers means she has a REALLY big head, so she struggles to get hoodies on and off on her own, so she mostly only wears this jacket. It's faded and has stains. It doesn't matter how much you wash it, the ends are always a little dirty looking. But it's warm and it still fits her perfectly so we haven't replaced it. It gets washed once a week, more if she gets it really dirty, but always at least once a week. And mind you, I'm not sending her to school in all dirty stained clothes. Her coat is the only stained item she wears. I figured I'd replace it when summer ends and cold weather is back.

Anyway, today when I'm picking her up he stops me again and asks me if she wears that coat everyday. I tell him for the most part she does. And in the middle of the room, he tells me "I can tell. It looks overdue for a wash."

It seems so little, so nothing, but it pissed me off so much. I just think it's wildly inappropriate to comment on any kids appearance/clothes, especially in a public setting. And honestly, I don't think her coat is that dirty? The color is faded as hell and the ends of the sleeves are stained, like I said, but it's not like it's covered in dirt? I ended up just walking away because I wasn't even sure what to say.

I think it's just all inappropriate, how judgmental he is coming off. I know there is no way for him to know my kids story, no way from him to know the ins and outs of what's going on in her own personal life, but I think that's kind of the point of not judging.

I really feel like how he is talking to me is inappropriate. It feels judgmental and like he's talking down to me. A part of me wants to report it to the people in charge of her after school care, but another part of me thinks I might be overreacting like crazy. I can get really wound up when I feel like my kid or my parenting is being judged. I've had to advocate hard for my kid at times and I've felt people have not taken her medical conditions seriously because they view ME as a young and dumb mom. So I can get very protective. So, would I be overreacting if I reported these interactions to his supervisors or should I just let it go?

throwaway. wedding is next weekend. i need to know if im overreacting or if this is as insane as it feels.

quick context. been with my fiance almost 5 years engaged for about a year and a half. things have been mostly fine. his mom and i have never been close but ive worked hard to be respectful and include her in things. my parents are paying for the wedding. that detail is going to matter in a second.

we agreed on a guest count of 110 about a year ago. our venue caps at 120. we have gone through the list together at least three separate times. when we did the final pass two months ago we had to cut some people i actually wanted there. my older brothers wife didnt make the list because we were squeezing under the cap. my college roommate didnt make it. i cried about my coworker who i sit next to every day not getting an invite. we made hard calls. or i thought we did.

last night the venue coordinator emailed me about final seating arrangements. she attached a spreadsheet and at the bottom there was a tab i had never seen labeled "additions per FMIL." i opened it and there were 10 names. ten people i was never told about. some i have never heard of. some i have heard of and specifically asked not to invite for reasons that i thought we had talked about.

i called my fiance immediately. he picked up and before i could finish the question he said yeah i know about that. those are mom's people.

apparently his mother has been emailing the venue directly for months. she got herself added to the planning email chain back in january. when i asked how she said his mom told her she was helping coordinate. the coordinator assumed i knew. she has been cc'd on dozens of emails about my wedding and i had no idea.

the names. two are coworkers of hers. three are cousins twice removed that we explicitly did not invite when we did the original list. one is her hairdresser of all people. and the other four are from his ex girlfriends family. they were "family friends" for years apparently. his mother is still close with the ex's mom. she invited them. to my wedding. without telling me. and my fiance KNEW.

when i asked him how long he had known he wouldnt answer at first. eventually he said since around march. MARCH. while i was sitting at the kitchen table making myself cut my own brothers wife from the list he knew his mother had quietly added her own people and he said nothing.

i asked him why and he said its easier this way. he said if he had told me i would have made it a thing and his mom would have made his life miserable and it wasnt worth the fight. he kept saying its just 10 chairs. its not a big deal. like i was being unreasonable for caring about who is at my own wedding.

then he said the part that broke me a little. he said his mom assumed since my parents were paying for it that she should have some say in the headcount because otherwise it wasnt fair to her. she felt left out. so she just started inviting people. and he let her. for four months.

my parents budgeted for 110. we are now at 120 which is the absolute cap of the venue. that is 10 more plates 10 more drinks 10 more chairs 10 more favors. my dad has not done the math yet but plates alone are 185 a person at this venue. nobody asked them. my mother is going to have a stroke when she finds out and i havent told her yet because i dont know what to do.

i left and went to my sisters. he keeps calling and texting saying im being dramatic and i need to come home so we can "figure it out together" which is rich because together is exactly what we havent been doing.

the worst part isnt even the people. its that he made me cut my own family while protecting his moms feelings. its that he has been lying for four months while i sat across from him agonizing over a list he already knew was a fiction. its that his ex's PARENTS and her aunt and uncle are going to be sitting in my reception watching me get married to him and apparently that is fine with everyone but me.

i love him. i do. but i dont know what i am supposed to do with this. the wedding is in 9 days. half my guests have already flown in or are flying in this week. the rehearsal dinner is thursday.

am i overreacting if i tell him she gets uninvited or i walk. i feel like im about to ruin everything and i dont know if its him or me thats actually doing it.

AIO???