u/EG1704_373

After I read sono posts and comments about the movie, here there are some theories that a like, in random order:

1. The Real Nikki is in Wish Nikki right eye, for this reason Wish Nikki always hits that side of the face and that's why when Real Nikki talks to Bear begging her to come out she lies in bed on her left side, leaving her right eye and the right side more superficial and in communication with Bear.
2. The first few days go well with Wish Nikki because there's this tacit agreement between Wish Nikki and Bear that everything is fine and that this is Real Nikki. However, after Ian's phone call at the restaurant, Bear has definitive proof of what he suspected from the beginning: Nikki isn't the real one, and the beginning of their relationship was actually based on lies and manipulation. Bear's question about Nikki's father breaks the spell ("don't do that"): Wish Nikki takes it as a betrayal, and from that moment on, she loses her mind, while Bear, on the other hand, has been completely torn apart, and his doubts and insecurities fuel Nikki and the rift between them.
3. We can all agree that the film's title refers (in part or in full) to Bear's obsession with Real Nikki. This could also have other implications. Obsessions and mania (including stalking) are often linked to illnesses like depression. What if Bear had contemplated suicide the day before the movie start with his grandmother's pills? However, he didn't actually attempt to take his own life and instead decided to make a real attempt on Nikki, thinking his obsession with her would save him (which is why the film opens with him rehearsing his speach to Nikki). However, he allegedly left the open pills somewhere, and so the cat found them and died. (Perhaps this is also why, at the end of the film, out of all his grandmother's pills, he knew exactly which ones to take to commit suicide.)

I (28F) need an outside perspective because I genuinely feel like I'm going crazy.

I've known my friend, let's call her Daisy (28F), since high school. We weren't really close back then (even if since the first days she was one of my favorite class mates), but over the years she gradually became one of my best friends. The problem is that there have always been things about our friendship that leave me feeling hurt, and I can't tell if I'm being too sensitive.

One example goes all the way back to high school. I had a very important competition that meant a lot to me. I didn't message her immediately afterward because I realized I was always the one initiating conversations, so I wanted to see if she'd check in on me. She didn't contact me for two weeks. When I finally told her it had hurt my feelings, she said she assumed the competition had gone badly and wanted to "give me space" (it had actually gone really well). Maybe this is too far back in time to count in the discussion, but I still wanted to say it because it really hurted me.

However, this seems to be a pattern with her. Around the same time, one of her closest friends was going through her parents' divorce and had explicitly told Daisy that she needed her support. Instead, Daisy barely contacted her for months because she thought she was "giving her space." That friendship eventually fell apart because of that.

Over the years, we became much closer. To be fair, there were periods when we both disappeared a bit because of university, relationships, and life in general. The difference is that I always felt guilty about it because I worried I wasn't being a good friend.

Eventually, in 2022 I broke up with my boyfriend, and a few months later Daisy broke up with hers. We became very close again while finishing our master's degrees.

After graduation, in 2023, I moved abroad (only about a one-hour flight away). A few months later I started dating my current boyfriend. Despite the distance and all the life changes, I made a real effort to keep our friendship strong. At first we messaged almost every day and had a phone call at least once a week.

Still, there were things that disappointed me. She didn't come visit me until almost a year after I moved, despite having no financial problems or lack of vacation time. Even then, she stayed only two days. The following year we planned a short beach trip together. She insisted she could only do four days because she "couldn't take vacation," even though she actually had around 30 unused vacation days. I didn't question it because you never really know someone else's work situation. Meanwhile, she kept promising she'd visit me again, but every single time there was some vague last-minute excuse. Then she started dating her current boyfriend, and she disappeared even more. I understand that new relationships naturally take up time, but she has done this before: in her previous relationship she neglected her friends, family, and even herself because everything revolved around her boyfriend, and afterward she admitted she regretted it. With him she has no problem taking vacations and even goes away for two weeks at a time.

She finally suggested visiting me again this year, but this time she brought her boyfriend along, turning it into a vacation for the two of them (suddenly she could find the time to travel just because it's not about visit be but it's a holiday with her bf). They were supposed to stay at my apartment, but they booked everything without telling me. I only found out weeks later. Thankfully I had no other plans that weekend. They also said they were coming "for my birthday," but they actually arrived around 1a.m. the day after my birthday. forcing me to stay home all the evening expecting them instead of making other plans (after a day of cleaning the house for them, nice birthday). They stayed with me for two nights and then spent three nights with one of her boyfriend's friends. Despite all that, we still had a nice time together, miraculously.

Then in April she asked if we could take a trip together in July for 4–7 days (to be decided). I was really excited because it would have been my only vacation this summer, so I planned my work and summer schedule around it. Then, in mid-June, she suddenly told me she couldn't take vacation in July anymore because her company was requiring her to take vacation only in August. Unfortunately, I'd already committed to work in August, so I couldn't move my plans. What bothered me wasn't even that she canceled, it was that she made absolutely no effort to find an alternative: she didn't suggest coming to visit me for a weekend, or meeting for a long weekend somewhere (shortening the trip from a week to two or three days), or really anything at all. Meanwhile, her planned two-week vacation with her boyfriend in September remained completely untouched. As a result, I'm not taking any vacation this summer because that trip with her was the only one I had planned.

Another thing is that whenever I go back to my hometown, she struggles to find time for me. I understand people have busy lives, but I'm only there for a few days. Okay, I understand your life, but can't you really postpone going out with your other friends who live there and who you can see whenever you want? So I often see her and her boyfriend going out.

Finally, here's what happened this week. On Monday she called me while I was in the shower. I called her back literally five minutes later, but she didn't answer. The next day she messaged saying she hadn't answered because she was talking to her boyfriend. I told her it was completely fine. Then she disappeared for four more days. Yesterday she called again, but this time I missed it because I was baking a cake. About 30–60 minutes later I texted, "Sorry! I was baking a cake." Her response was "Yeah, it's all about priorities." WTF??? The phone call at the end was actually Daisy calling to vent about another close friend, "Sally" (27F). Sally had been busy studying for the bar exam, disappeared for about two weeks, then passed on her first try. She wanted to celebrate both becoming a lawyer and her birthday, and gave Daisy about 2–3 weeks' notice. Daisy said she might already have a hiking trip planned and needed to know the time (as I understande the date was sure) in advance to cancel it. Neither of them followed up for two weeks. When Sally finally confirmed the party, she said it would start at 2p.m. so Daisy could drive there and still get home before dark (the place was 1hr away from where Daisy lives). Daisy replied that it was now too late to cancel the hiking trip, so she wouldn't be coming. They ended up having a big phone argument. Sally was hurt because one of her closest friends couldn't make time to celebrate such an important milestone, while Daisy felt Sally was expecting her to drop everything for her and said something along the lines of, "I'm not here to be at your beck and call. You've never even celebrated your birthday before, and now I'm suddenly supposed to be available whenever you want."

The confusing part is that when we're actually together, she's incredibly sweet. We laugh constantly, we have so much fun, and she feels like a sister to me.

So I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

Am I expecting too much from this friendship? Am I focusing only on the negative? Or does this actually sound like someone who consistently puts me very low on her list of priorities?

Am I expecting too much from my best friend, or is this friendship really one-sided? (28F/28F)

I (28F) need an outside perspective because I genuinely feel like I'm going crazy.

I've known my friend, let's call her Daisy (28F), since high school. We weren't really close back then (even if since the first days she was one of my favorite class mates), but over the years she gradually became one of my best friends. The problem is that there have always been things about our friendship that leave me feeling hurt, and I can't tell if I'm being too sensitive.

One example goes all the way back to high school. I had a very important competition that meant a lot to me. I didn't message her immediately afterward because I realized I was always the one initiating conversations, so I wanted to see if she'd check in on me. She didn't contact me for two weeks. When I finally told her it had hurt my feelings, she said she assumed the competition had gone badly and wanted to "give me space" (it had actually gone really well). Maybe this is too far back in time to count in the discussion, but I still wanted to say it because it really hurted me.

However, this seems to be a pattern with her. Around the same time, one of her closest friends was going through her parents' divorce and had explicitly told Daisy that she needed her support. Instead, Daisy barely contacted her for months because she thought she was "giving her space." That friendship eventually fell apart because of that.

Over the years, we became much closer. To be fair, there were periods when we both disappeared a bit because of university, relationships, and life in general. The difference is that I always felt guilty about it because I worried I wasn't being a good friend.

Eventually, in 2022 I broke up with my boyfriend, and a few months later Daisy broke up with hers. We became very close again while finishing our master's degrees.

After graduation, in 2023, I moved abroad (only about a one-hour flight away). A few months later I started dating my current boyfriend. Despite the distance and all the life changes, I made a real effort to keep our friendship strong. At first we messaged almost every day and had a phone call at least once a week.

Still, there were things that disappointed me. She didn't come visit me until almost a year after I moved, despite having no financial problems or lack of vacation time. Even then, she stayed only two days. The following year we planned a short beach trip together. She insisted she could only do four days because she "couldn't take vacation," even though she actually had around 30 unused vacation days. I didn't question it because you never really know someone else's work situation. Meanwhile, she kept promising she'd visit me again, but every single time there was some vague last-minute excuse. Then she started dating her current boyfriend, and she disappeared even more. I understand that new relationships naturally take up time, but she has done this before: in her previous relationship she neglected her friends, family, and even herself because everything revolved around her boyfriend, and afterward she admitted she regretted it. With him she has no problem taking vacations and even goes away for two weeks at a time.

She finally suggested visiting me again this year, but this time she brought her boyfriend along, turning it into a vacation for the two of them (suddenly she could find the time to travel just because it's not about visit be but it's a holiday with her bf). They were supposed to stay at my apartment, but they booked everything without telling me. I only found out weeks later. Thankfully I had no other plans that weekend. They also said they were coming "for my birthday," but they actually arrived around 1a.m. the day after my birthday. forcing me to stay home all the evening expecting them instead of making other plans (after a day of cleaning the house for them, nice birthday). They stayed with me for two nights and then spent three nights with one of her boyfriend's friends. Despite all that, we still had a nice time together, miraculously.

Then in April she asked if we could take a trip together in July for 4–7 days (to be decided). I was really excited because it would have been my only vacation this summer, so I planned my work and summer schedule around it. Then, in mid-June, she suddenly told me she couldn't take vacation in July anymore because her company was requiring her to take vacation only in August. Unfortunately, I'd already committed to work in August, so I couldn't move my plans. What bothered me wasn't even that she canceled, it was that she made absolutely no effort to find an alternative: she didn't suggest coming to visit me for a weekend, or meeting for a long weekend somewhere (shortening the trip from a week to two or three days), or really anything at all. Meanwhile, her planned two-week vacation with her boyfriend in September remained completely untouched. As a result, I'm not taking any vacation this summer because that trip with her was the only one I had planned.

Another thing is that whenever I go back to my hometown, she struggles to find time for me. I understand people have busy lives, but I'm only there for a few days. Okay, I understand your life, but can't you really postpone going out with your other friends who live there and who you can see whenever you want? So I often see her and her boyfriend going out.

Finally, here's what happened this week. On Monday she called me while I was in the shower. I called her back literally five minutes later, but she didn't answer. The next day she messaged saying she hadn't answered because she was talking to her boyfriend. I told her it was completely fine. Then she disappeared for four more days. Yesterday she called again, but this time I missed it because I was baking a cake. About 30–60 minutes later I texted, "Sorry! I was baking a cake." Her response was "Yeah, it's all about priorities." WTF??? The phone call at the end was actually Daisy calling to vent about another close friend, "Sally" (27F). Sally had been busy studying for the bar exam, disappeared for about two weeks, then passed on her first try. She wanted to celebrate both becoming a lawyer and her birthday, and gave Daisy about 2–3 weeks' notice. Daisy said she might already have a hiking trip planned and needed to know the time (as I understande the date was sure) in advance to cancel it. Neither of them followed up for two weeks. When Sally finally confirmed the party, she said it would start at 2p.m. so Daisy could drive there and still get home before dark (the place was 1hr away from where Daisy lives). Daisy replied that it was now too late to cancel the hiking trip, so she wouldn't be coming. They ended up having a big phone argument. Sally was hurt because one of her closest friends couldn't make time to celebrate such an important milestone, while Daisy felt Sally was expecting her to drop everything for her and said something along the lines of, "I'm not here to be at your beck and call. You've never even celebrated your birthday before, and now I'm suddenly supposed to be available whenever you want."

The confusing part is that when we're actually together, she's incredibly sweet. We laugh constantly, we have so much fun, and she feels like a sister to me.

So I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

Am I expecting too much from this friendship? Am I focusing only on the negative? Or does this actually sound like someone who consistently puts me very low on her list of priorities?

I (28F) need an honest opinion on this friend (28F) of mine because I'm going crazy!

We've known each other since high school, we weren't best friends at the time, but slowly she's becoming one of my best friend. Let's call her Daisy.

Since high school, as we've gotten closer, there are still things that make me feel a little bad. For example, I remember I had a very important competition and I didn't text her right away because at the time I felt like I was always texting her, so I wanted to see if she'd contact me after that event, which I thought was very important to me at the time. But she disappeared for two weeks, and when I pointed out that they were a little hurt, she told me she hadn't texted me because she thought it had gone badly and therefore wanted to respect my space (No, but it had gone very well). Well, I wanted to say it even though it happened years ago because I was upset and it's a bit synonymous with how she behaves sometimes. In fact, at the end of high school she also lost her best friend at the time who was going through a horrible time with her parents' divorce because Daisy practically ignored her for months to "give her space", when this friend of hers had explicitly said that she needed to feel her presence in this bad moment.

Over time we consolidate the friendship, but sometimes she disappears but honestly I also disappeared sometimes between university and my boyfriend (Even though I, for my part, felt really guilty for these my disappearances because I thought it was me who didn't dedicate enough time to her and that I wasn't a good friend).

I break up with my ex bf and then after a few months she breaks up with her bf too so we got very close again and we spend a lot of time together while we finish our master's degrees. After finishing university I moved abroad about an hour's flight from where we lived. After a few months after my moving here I started dating my current boyfriend. Despite all these changes I always try to stay close to her, to be a good friend: in fact at the beginning we practically talk every day by message and at least once a week by call. Everything is fine even if I was a little disappointed that she came to visit me only after almost a year and only for a two days (she has no money or holiday problems even if she makes it a point). We manage to organize a few days at the seaside the following year only four days because she "can't take holidays" (It's not true she had 30 days of holidays in arrears, but I respected her wishes, you never know). In the meantime she continues to promise me that she will come back to visit me where I live now but always unexpected things popped up (suspiciously, every time, with always very vague excuses). I also had a bit of a down period in which she obviously disappeared (she knew about that). A little bit later, she gets together with a guy and disappears even more. On one hand I understand because in any case he is her boyfriend, but on the other hand she has already been through a situation in which she neglected friends, family, and personal things for this ex boyfriend of hers.... and she regretted it bitterly. Then it seems to everyone that she is definitely more into him than he is into her, and so this is a slightly weird mechanism but it's her life and I won't interfere.

In any case, she can magically take vacations with him and they stay on vacation for weeks. We started thinking another little trip to where I am living now, but Daisy is bringing her bf too. (To visit me, she absolutely has no time, but if it turns into a vacation with her bf, then that's fine). They were planning to stay at my place, but they didn't let me know when they book and I found it out weeks late. Luckily, I had nothing to do that weekend. They were "coming for my birthday" = they arrived at one o'clock the day after my birthday, forcing me to stay at home that evening and that weekend, after I'd cleaned the house all day and without even asking if I agreed. They stayed with me for two days and three days at her boyfriend's friend's house. However, everything goes well miraculously.

Then, in April, Daisy asked me if we go on holiday in July for 4 to 7 days and I was very happy! So, I started to organize the whole summer taking this into account. However, last week (so mid-June) she told me that she can no longer take holidays in July because her company forces her to take holidays only in August, so if I want to do it in August, that's fine. Unfortunately, I already had work plans in August, so I said no. No mention of coming to visit me on a weekend since I'm at home working, and she's free. No mention of a possible long weekend together (instead of 4-7 days as we planned, maybe we could only do two?). In any case, the two weeks of vacation with her boyfriend in September have remained untouched. I'm not going on vacation anymore this summer since that one was my only holiday. Do I feel guilty blaming her? Yes Is she having all the fault? No, I think.

In all of this, she's very sweet, and when we're together, we're like sisters, and I feel great. Maybe I'm the one who expects too much????

P.S. Sorry for my English but I'm not a native speaker and I wrote all this in one go.

I (28F)'m European, I lived most of my life until I was 25 in a state and then I moved to one of the northern European states. Now I've been living here for four years. My boyfriend (32M) is from the United States. We've been together for almost three years and we've been living together for two years. Everything is great and I'm really happy with him. He is in Europe for work and he wants to return to the United States in the next few years to stay there for a few decades. I have never considered the option of going to the United States and I am not very excited about it. I am very attached to my family and I go back to visit them practically every two months. The fact of moving to a country that doesn't excite me and that is so far from my family weighs on me but I really feel good with my boyfriend, he is a good person. I don't know what to do...

I (28F)'m European, I lived most of my life until I was 25 in a state and then I moved to one of the northern European states. Now I've been living here for four years. My boyfriend (32M) is from the United States. We've been together for almost three years and we've been living together for two years. Everything is great and I'm really happy with him. He is in Europe for work and he wants to return to the United States in the next few years to stay there for a few decades. I have never considered the option of going to the United States and I am not very excited about it. I am very attached to my family and I go back to visit them practically every two months. The fact of moving to a country that doesn't excite me and that is so far from my family weighs on me but I really feel good with my boyfriend, he is a good person. I don't know what to do...