I just don't know what to do, I feel very alone right now, very hollow, and very confused? I just need to let it out or else I'll spiral more. I need convos, and some sort of clarity in this situation.
Me (20F) and my boyfriend (26M) met through a dating app. He said hey to me first, and asked right away if I was looking for something serious or not, as he wasn't the type to have casual relationships.
Fast forward, I noticed that he was one if the only guys who was actually consistent, and actually gave the same energy I was giving :). We would talk everyday, but never called. Then a few weeks after, we decided to be together, as we noticed we have a lot of same interests, and we really did click. To the innocent stuff, and the not so innocent stuff. It was like we met each other's dream partner, it felt great, I felt like I finally met the one.
Then on April 9, he suddenly went silent, for 5 whole days he didn't reply or gave any sign that he was alive, except for the fact that my messages were being delivered. Then I suddenly exploded on day 5 and decided to call him 6 times, and that pushed him to explain what happened (through text cause he never answered, like 6 hours after I called.) It was complicated but basically he said he got blackmailed by his ex and that she got screenshots of him talking about his boss (which is bad because he works in a high profile bank) and she said that she would contact me to say that they got back together, and he said that he was super embarrassed beacuse of that, and that he never even took a single peep at the messages I was spamming him during that time cause he thought I was cussing him out because of his ex.
I believed him :)), even though the story sounds out of this world I chose to believe him. He said that he would never do it again if I took him back, and that he would make it up to me :)). No ex ever reached out, maybe she
was a coward, and she didn't send the blackmail either. We talked about it seriously, and said that if we were just tired of each other, we would just say it instead of suddenly disappearing.
After that, it was back to us being lovey dovey, him being consistent, and he finally said "I Love You" to me after all those days, as he wasn't the type to love bomb, it was more me actually.
I told my little sister I finally got a bf, and when she wouldn't believe me, I asked him if it was alright to record some voice messages for my suster to prove he was real, and he actually did. 3 total actually, cause my sister was making him read some stuff lol, and he also said in those vm's that he is my bf, and that he is serious.
We even talked a lot one day about what we're gonna do when he gets here, cause he said that he would come here within 5 months, and that we should think about what to do.
Then now May 4, I was suddenly blocked. He last replied to me on Saturday, May 2, 3:30am my time because of the time difference (he is 6 hours behind). He said that he loved me more, after replying to my strings of messages. Then I replied at 3pm in the afternoon, no response for the whole day. Sunday, no response, I sent a quick text at 9pm saying "I miss u, but fck me ig :))" Since I was remembering what happened on April, then it was a not delivered for the longest time, it only got delivered Monday at 8:21 for me, but 2ish AM for him.
I didn't check at that time if he blocked me already, but after class I saw that I couldn't see his profile anymore, and that the verify encryption thing wasn't working, so it meant that he blocked me :)). I am struggling with the fact that it all happened so suddenly, and that I know he isn't the type to do this.
We basically have only WhatsApp as our way to communicate, he didn't have other socials since his job required him to be under the radar. He said he told his parents about me. I have also seen pictures of his dad, his favorite niece that he truly adores, and his sister. He has also talked to me about his dog and even showed a picture of him, being vulnerable saying that he misses him. I have also heard his voice countless times, even sending one in his native language, and not telling me that he said "I Love You" in all of them, not knowing I knew how to translate it. He has given me random pbotos when he hangs out with friends, and when he went to a concert, he even gave me videos just to update me without me asking for them :)). He has been so sweet, so loving, so caring. He says I love you everyday and I never doubted it.
But, the man I fell inlove with suddenly did this. I just felt so hurt and confused about all this. Like genuinely he was consistent, always assuring me, always being there. I even told him he was my safe space :)). I just don't understand any of this. He said I was his first gf acyer 3 years and he appreciates meeting me. But damn. I don't know anymore. I just want him back :((.
If you have any questions, please ask them. I honestly just want to talk, and to gain some sort of clarity.
TLDR: Boyfriend of 1 month suddenly blocked me after being consistent and lovey dovey, I'm spiraling right now.
Above are the texts on what happened when he came back on April, and the last one is his last text days before he blocked me :)).