u/Early_Special_1459

Is it okay to not be ambitious?

Ambitiousness is something which gets less spoken about.

I don't have an ambition.

Ambition varies from person to person, depending on their experiences, personalities, willpower, prestige and their overall drive.

I don't have a reason to be ambitious for.

I just fake that I am ambitious. Fake it til you make it they say.

I wish I was ambitious. I would be busy with my plans and executing those plans.

But I just am not......not yet.

But I am supposed to be. I can't start thinking of something after the time intervals for such thought has already passed.

I wish the systems went easier on us..

Because not all of us discover our ambitions early in life and work on it.

And we discover it too late, too late as we are stuck in monotonous, life long, minimal salary job with our dreams unfulfilled and we are unsatisfied.

And above all, our potential gone to waste.

I need more exposure to life to make a change. Most of us do

Im a 17f gen Z. And I ought to admit that even though this generation is way more raw and honest- they are rude.

I don't like my own peers. My own gen. They are all bratty, entitled, insecure to the core by trying to fit in so hard and also cause insecurity to others.

I don't know if that's how they genuinely are..maybe im like that too. But once I get a taste of my own rudeness, I tend to become aware and not be rude to others. Hence I think I am nice most of the time.

I don't like my generation.

At times I don't think I'll find anyone who I'll like.

Or share similar interests as me.

Yes, maybe I am naturally pretentious and a goody two shoes. But i don't get the point of being intentionally mean.

I wish I had some friends who were honest to themselves and to me, who had atleast a bit of similar, fixated similar interests (hobbies which they indulge in for long time)

Maybe I wish I had my own carbon copy to talk to.

Whatever.

😕

People are scums

Self centred

Nobody cares

Just jealousy, hatred, insecurity, anger and ego covered with a brick wall

Just like how a brick wall was built to hide the slums in India when the rich visited

It's a facade. Not a solution.

No real connection

Pure business interactions, calculation on gains and losses from giving and taking, no love.

No love in this world.

I can only love who I am supposed to, out of my framework

But can't generate pure love with another individual and build a universe with them.

Everything sucks 😞

Istps, what do you guys think of all this?

(If you don't want to read these paragraphs, skip to the bold lines in the end)

I have been reflecting more and more on my type.

I have been observing my real life tendencies and behaviours with my online life ones.

Most of the mask and "diversity" I put on is a facade.

I'm thinking along these lines and I really wish you guys could help out sort my thought process.

At the core, right when I am meeting new people- I tend to be quiet/slow and act like an ISTP. But maybe an asperger's ISTP (random but I was searching this up)

I am definitely on the ASD spectrum because I like playing repetitive games such as shooting games online and I get dopamine from it.

My thought process is crisper and clearer in my head- but when I try out my thoughts into words- I have this tendency to go into detail and ruin the authenticity of my actual thought (I am trying my best not to do that to this post)

Because of this I also think I have ESTJ and ESFJ traits. But only one trait, can't see myself being entirety industrious or people pleasing.

But from my childhood, I have had this HD vivid imagination and had this soft spot for innocent daydreaming of love and my crush- that's an INFP side of mine 😭

Even if I feel "extroverted", it's not out of the wanting to connect, it's more like EXFP sort of extroversion- I just want to talk about my interests.

Let's toss in ISFP too.

SO long story short

Appearance- XSTJ

Online Appearance - XSFJ

Initial Communication- ISTP

Inner world as a child- INFP

When I want to be an omnivert and be performative- EXFP