r/istp

I understand the fact now that you can be often misunderstood. You often try to understand the situation to make it clear before offer a solution or giva an advice at least.

Well I'm the type of a person that has no an unambiguous portrait at all.

Most of people consider me as either a person that is sensitive, creative, or the one who likes brainstorms, or the one who sees things before they happen, or even the one who is able to solve the problems with simple logic.

I was often typed as an INFP. And yet? People's description is very, very different.

Let's just say, lots of weird stuff happened to me lately.

Came to the point that my family members suspect I have some form of disidentity disorder (highly-likely OSDD, but I have no amnesia, but most ironic thing is that some signs were when I used to study in school, one of the teachers was also suspecting that, not that I took it seriously back then). Won't go into details further here. Whoever knows — knows.

I have one of the alters which is suspiciously familiar to ISTP-T 6w5 (yes, he has a name, but I won't mention this).

I began notice things I didn't see earlier. I can notice the way my sensory perception, way of thinking, voice, walking, manner of speech changes, even handwriting changes.

So, to the point here. Enough of demagogy.

It is admirable that you're capable of things to be done. It is admirable that you are capable of solving issues. I understand that you cherish autonomy ('cause so do I).

Just you see, I noticed that I'm not capable of describing the way I feel things more properly when I'm way too concentrated on what I have and what to do about it. Feels like much easier just to put it aside, wind off, go to exercise, go for a shooting (yes, I do like it a lot). Lately, I began to have arguements over silly things just because somebody took me wrong when I just try to understand if there's something else needs to be done while others think that I'm being cold and trying to find a trick in the reason they either adressed or called me.

I don't say you have no feelings. You do. You do feel and do things, but in your own way. You describe stuff, but in your own way, you can talk, you can speak, but concisely and briefly, which may confuse people very much (and lead to silly arguements and misunderstandings which I have a lot lately).

Means like I'm both blessed to be able to have a variety of thinking and cursed to be an either "hypocrite" or "pretender" in the face of the others because they see me now in all colours they didn't see me before.

I literally had to mourn for months to come up with resignation and acceptance of myself (which I already did, I'll just make it through despite everything).

My thanks to the God I have a friend from the school (who is also ISTP, not that I ever expected that we would get along some day after graduation) who can understand my multifaceted personality and "bugs", so, he doesn't call me "insane".

Again.

You may be wronged because of wrong assumptions about "coldness", but now I see and understand.

After all? You don't owe a single explanation of your mindset to the people can't see stuff the way you do unless they are the ones who actually care.

Advice: if you have a hard time explaining stuff, just say that you genuinely have no idea how to explain. Must help a lot. Much better than you would avoid telling a thing when it comes to something unfamiliar to you.

To my name I currently have $38.2k in savings. However, I am from a low income family and had partly had to start renting an apartment complex a few months ago because one of my parents is always disturbing the neighbors with their yelling, so this is unfortunately not actually much of a safety net if I ever get sick or something. I have applied to local universities now that I almost have my community college associates degree. However, my problem is that I am realizing that I just have absolutely no idea what I want to do with myself.

I have experience as a professional babysitter, an associate teacher at a school I was at for a little over a year, and as a behavior technician. With babysitting, the longest sitting gig I have had (of almost two years) there is unfortunately a situation going on right now wherein I was groped multiple times on a recent gig, so don’t know whether or not the wife will continue to write positive references if I ask for any. As of late, I have been thinking about what I actually want to, well, do in the long term though. Remaining in my current role is not going to be sustainable in the long run, not financially nor just, well, in general. There actually are certain aspects of the job that I like. I love it when progress is made. I understand data collection. I like the fact in a way that I am not necessarily in a leadership role in current position, but I am also realizing that I kind of don’t like that at the same time. What I mean by that is that I find myself thinking about the way people actually view those within my vocation, if that makes sense. When you do what I do, you don’t “matter.” In a way I guess that’s the case for most jobs, but people don’t really value or care about those who are in more of a support role, just in general. And I don’t like that even though I actually find some aspects to be very rewarding. I don’t like to feel unappreciated.

I want to do better than my parents have done. I am not positive about whether or not I eventually want marriage and a child, but I know that I just want, well, stability in a way that my parents have never been able to offer. Even as a child, I resented the fact that we were poorer than everyone else. But part of my problem is that it’s also just about me and what I’m actually willing to do. For example, I know that I don’t want to become a nurse even though I had really wanted to become one in high school because you have to remember a lot, be a quick thinker, and I just don’t think that’s who I am. Some people on Reddit encourage going into STEM, but I already know that at least when it comes to engineering, I just don’t want to. I value and care a lot about communication. I was irritated with my roommate even though I moved on from it for yelling at me about issues that I felt could have easily been resolved by sending a text message (having forgotten to dump the small trashcan into the big one, for example. I had partly been annoyed because there are sentence frames I could have come up with myself to talk to someone about that like an adult and move on from it together.) There has not been any college class that I really got a lot out of, in the sense that I took it and knew I wanted it to be my field of study. My associates degree is going to be in child development but I don’t see myself as a teacher especially not after having actually worked with preschoolers. I have a 3.94 I think but after taking summer classes it may drop (I am taking 4 of them, they’re almost over.) I acknowledge that my GPA doesn’t make me “smart” and my recent experience with the family I’ve been with for so long who I now have issues with due to the dad’s groping and the mom’s consequent reaction (she tried to ask me to avoid letting the authorities know because he was experiencing a dissociative episode. I was initially thrown off and it had already taken me a week to do it, she had said this after I had told her I’d already let them know. I actually considered it/thought about it, but after remembering that the dad had sent an apology text after the dad and I discussed it and that he had apologized when he came back to get his things to go to their apartment, I knew that it just wasn’t making sense. Even if you are dissociating, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t responsible/shouldn’t be held accountable for your actions. I was becoming a bit irritated earlier this week as the thought occurred to me that I was initially inclined to try and “protect” both parents, if that makes sense. It hadn’t registered in my mind when it first happened just how unacceptable and inappropriate it all actually was, I had actually seemed kind of casual about it when the mom and I initially had a follow up discussion, but after getting home and having more time to sit on it, I started to feel a combination of emotions that extended beyond normal anxiety. It is something that I am going to now have to find my own therapist to sit down and discuss. But having this experience has also taught me that having money in the way that family does (or at least in the way the father does) does not necessarily mean that you are “smart.” I don’t think the mom’s handling of the situation, after having had well over a few days to sit on it, was smart- she shouldn’t have told me she was glad I didn’t press charges, for example, in our conversation - but the dad, even though both have college educations and can normally get their kid almost anything they want, isn’t smart if he got himself into this position in the first place. I also must note that other than the groping, the fact that he was trying to cheat with me, the babysitter, in the first place was automatically very unattractive to me.

It’s very telling of a person’s character, and one thing I must say about myself is that no matter how much money a prospective partner has or makes, there is certain behavior I would never want to tolerate and this is an example of that kind of behavior. I actually had felt awfully sorry for the wife in the beginning - I wouldn’t have told her on the day of if I hadn’t - because even though I used to be more relaxed about cheating (I’ve never done it myself, but by relaxed I just mean that if you had asked me a few months ago if I could forgive a cheater, I think I’d have said yes. When I was recently with a man who I found very physically attractive, the thought had occurred to me that given I knew other women wanted him, I could put up with/tolerate a bit of cheating so long as he wasn’t bringing diseases home to me. Watching this happen has changed my perspective completely. I mean, whether it ends in divorce for them or not (she had said they were already separating because of “things like this”) this was just all a lot to deal with and I had initially actually empathized with the wife more than, well, myself, because I can’t imagine having a \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*husband\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* who is always trying to cheat. Having a boyfriend who is always trying to cheat would be hard enough, but I remember I was really sad for her because I feel like your husband is supposed to be your number one. Marriage binds you two together in a sense even though it can also end at any time, and I don’t know how I’d feel if it hit me that I had spent at least a decade of my life with someone who clearly doesn’t actually like me that much. I had initially found myself thinking about how I felt that the mom could do better, that it was possible for her to find her equal… though after having to deal with her marriage counselor who she had recommended me to (and who apparently doesn’t have to follow HIPAA. I had made sure to ask that because I wanted to be sure, and I hadn’t thought his suggestion that he maintains confidentiality “by choice” was good enough,) trying to guilt me for cooperating with the authorities on this and other behavior from her that makes me feel she has enabled him somewhat and centered herself and her needs over mine, I no longer feel that way.

I now feel as though she has been in the marriage for so long due in part to poor decision making on her end, and don’t think either of them is sincerely a “good person.” I am annoyed with both, but haven’t directly called the mom out on it, in part because I might sue later on and want to be careful.

After this happened, I guess that it just got me thinking more in general. I have thought before about becoming a mother and a wife. I have been focused on my homework and on the fact that I will start a bachelors degree program in January (so soon. Less than six months away,) but I have also been thinking a bit more about my perspective on romance and love. When I was extremely depressed as a high school underclassman (boy, it was a while ago now,) I remember crushing hard on a boy who I think is an ESTP 6w7 - couldn’t stand him two years later after he lost his looks, but had continued to like him after he’d put my appearance down (called me a little below average. I am old enough now as an adult that I have been approached by men, have had 2 boyfriends, and just feel as though I simply wasn’t his type. In middle and high school I wasn’t really the type who most of the boys liked, which I think is fine now that I’m an adult. At times I feel that men I’ve spoken to have judged me for not having more dating experience and I have been told before that I seem like I don’t know what it means to date, but this situation has made me think a little bit more about the importance of finding someone who you actually trust. With a guy I was seeing earlier this year, I was blinded by how attractive I found him to be (though there are of course average looking men who I am sure I would be very attracted to) and had even ignored warnings from other people that us going out would probably not be the best idea due to his consistent refusal to work on his mental health. He was actually quite sweet to me in person most of the time when we were together, I think he was an ISFP, but in hindsight - now that I am removed from the situation - I see more how bad of an idea it actually would have been for us to date in the long term. I hadn’t wanted to think about it rationally due to how strong the chemistry and physical attraction were. It never would have lasted. He was beautiful, but was not goal oriented and was not really prepared to, well, adjust to what is expected of you as an adult. He was actually older than me by nearly a decade (which someone who knows him better than I could, though I won’t specify the relationship, pointed out) but he was not actually “mature.” We couldn’t have settled down. He didn’t want kids, and I was actually fine with adapting to that - if I meet a man who I have a similar attraction to that wants a kid, I would also be open to accepting if I’d spent time with him and felt he’d do his duty as a father. But this guy, as gorgeous as he was, as sweet as he could be to me, as much as he checked every box of what I’d want physically in a man (and as I write this, the thought occurs to me that in high school I almost always liked the cute jocks. Never cared about their grades, the ones I’d liked all had very poor grades in fact. This, I suppose, was my first time meeting one who was explicitly interested in me) honestly didn’t need to be in a relationship, simply because he was not focused on bettering his mental health and becoming, well, a functioning member of society. He’d been honest about not wanting to marry again, but what I suspect he’d have wanted in a girlfriend would have been the very basics, a body and someone to kiss. I’d have ended up running around with him and probably eventually gotten myself into something serious if I’d been his ride or die. I’ve always preferred the “jocks” the handsome jocks, and this is something I acknowledge about myself. But I’m starting to think more as I grow older about how I should probably work on placing so much emphasis in a relationship on looks, especially given that I’m not beautiful myself (in fact, the fact that I grew up with peers who made it known to me that I was not a beauty is probably partly why I almost always really go for the “cute” guys as an adult whenever I am approached. It’s just that it’s starting to hit me that I think that I need to start focusing more on the compatibility aspect of it all. Would I love it if I found a handsome man who checked my boxes? And by boxes, I don’t just mean beauty, but treats me well, consistently interested, doesn’t care about what his friends think of my looks - I can think of a guy I liked who never cared about what people thought when he took out women less attractive than him and I loved that, ideally has learned a lucrative trade or is at least educated in the sense of having a degree in a field that pays well and if not being frugal, etc. Yes, I would. But I know that people are complex and life doesn’t always work out the way you may want it to, so I recognize that I will probably not get all of that in a guy and need to start by trying to get to know the man. The person. Because spending 10+ years with someone and not actually knowing who they are is crazy. I struggle with depression and anxiety already, personally it’d just break my heart.

I have been told that I have effective communication skills. This doesn’t mean that I’m a social butterfly, quite the opposite actually, but I recognize that communication is a big piece of strong relationships and the only time wherein my communication is lacking these days is if I for any reason feel or believe that I need to be afraid of someone. For example, two weeks ago on the day of the babysitting incident, my roommate who is also my landlord yelled at me. I had vented about it because I felt what she was yelling about were all issues that were actually quite easy to resolve - a leaky shower faucet when I actually hadn’t taken a shower within a few days (she was saying it could lead to all of the pipes bursting, don’t know if that’s true or not. But she was getting very agitated about it and almost acting based upon body language like she was ready to hit me - she’s almost 70 and grew up in a different time, so it’s possible that she actually did feel that way. I moved past it for the most part but am still keeping an eye out just in case it happens again. The leaky faucet was probably the most serious,) me having not paid her back $50 in 3 days (personally, I would have just sent someone a text about that. I would have asked that in the future they pay me back on the day of, and more specifically for the situation would have asked them \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*politely\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* when they intended on paying me back. I didn’t think it was worth yelling about, and part of the reason why it had taken me so long to pay her back was actually not because I didn’t intend to at all, but moreso because I have to go to the ATM everytime and take the money out and with summer classes I was simply too busy,) and me having forgotten to dump the smaller trashcan into the bigger one (which to me was really the least serious of those three things.) I believe she is an esfp 2w3. I have pretty much moved on from it and forgiven her for it, but was actually quietly very angry about it for a few days. Part of what helped me forgive/move on is the fact that she has helped me with things like a slug being in my room very late at night. It’s nice things like that that I have chosen to focus on/remember. I have made multiple mistakes during my time here, and was quite angry about the fact that she jumped to yelling about issues that i thought were very fixable, but hadn’t yelled back. Was just scared and was also thrown off by it given that she was a therapist for years. It just gives you pause when you feel as though you have a calmer approach to certain situations, and a better idea of how to handle it like an adult, than someone nearly five decades older than you who has a masters degree in Psychology and years of experience as a therapist. The sarcastic part of me had the thought that maybe I should become a therapist if it’s so much easier for me to think up sentence frames/a quick solution for the described problems than someone who has years of experience as one, but I have just let it go at this point. I would hate to end up with someone who was yelling a lot about things that were minor though. I probably could forgive yelling in a relationship and may talk to them about it… but to be honest depending on the dynamic and how early on it was, I also might just not. I might just avoid them which isn’t healthy. Or break up through text or something. I’ve yelled at someone I was dating before (in high school) and my mother is a screamer, but I really don’t prefer it if you want to have healthy communication and a good relationship with someone. People remember being yelled at, and it only serves to cause tension or create an argument.

I have a bad habit of worrying a significant amount about things instead of I suppose trying to sit back and enjoy life. I feel like I don't really know what it means to enjoy life. I don't feel that I actually spend my time trying to live to the fullest, even when I actually do have vacations or breaks - I've never taken a "vacation" of my own. When I was younger, I always worried about what would happen if I allowed myself to have too much fun. I don't want to mishandle money like my parents always have (well, actually, my mother used to be quite good at saving it. But she made the mistake of trying to give money to my father and waited too late into the relationship to care about whether or not he could support her financially/is at a stage now wherein you can tell she wishes she'd landed a breadwinner, but just didn't plan wisely and should have seen a therapist for all of her trauma before trying to become a parent.) I don't see myself as a housewife, at all. My roommate has to give the cleaning lady extra (that I of course give back to her) to clean my room and bathroom, because even though I keep my room more organized than I used to due to her influence, I still don't normally have the time or energy to clean up after myself, some of it is depression. But I also don't know how to cook and probably wouldn't be good at it.

I need to start really working on getting my sleeping schedule figured out/together. It has been a lot harder for me as of late.

I am becoming more cynical about people.

My dating life is strange. I have technically had two boyfriends throughout my lifetime, one when I was a high school upperclassman (he was an ISxP. The relationship was great for a month. The last two months were terrible. I had stayed with him after he disrespected my boundaries by continuing to ask for things I didn’t want to do which was a bad idea) and the other ISFP mentioned above more recently. There was actually a man today, one who I didn’t think was unattractive, who had seemed like he was sincerely attracted to me and asked me if I’m married. I was surprised by this question. I’ve been asked the boyfriend one before, but no one has ever asked me if I’m married. He seemed nice actually but I’m a bit bothered now that we’re texting by the fact that he said I’m “sexy” so early on. Most of the guys who have approached me or communicated interest have not been “well off.” I think that I struggle right now with the idea of being in a relationship due to a lack of self care on my part, but also because with the experiences I’ve had with men over the years deep down inside I don’t know who I could trust and who I couldn’t if you catch my drift. Especially after seeing what happened with that family I provided babysitting services for I find it especially important to try getting with someone who you actually trust. But as I’m growing older I’m also starting to think about how serious marriage actually is. If you’re married you ideally want to find your life partner, someone who will stand by your side as you get sick, if you gain weight (I don’t want to gain weight but especially if I decide to have a kid it’ll be a possibility,) etc. That probably actually is what love happens to be. I don’t know whether I’ll find that later on in life or not, but I do know that I’m starting to realize that I can’t be with a guy who mostly likes my body, and that I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t serious about life itself, no matter how cute they are.

I’m likely an ISFJ.

I’m not great with/at hands on activities. For example, I renewed my CPR card yesterday and like always I was the one person in the class who really needed help in practicing the movements. I passed the test with ease and I passed it the first time I took the class as well, but it’s one of those things that reminds me why it’s good that I never actually tried to go into nursing even though it’s what I believed I wanted to do in high school.

I found out that the guy above who I stopped talking to after he had called me sexy (he seemed sweet in person when I’d met him. I think he is an ESFx) lied about his age (he had said when I guessed his age that I was right and he will be 28 next month. I learned he’ll actually be 37 next month) so it seems that my intuition on that one was actually right. I knew that him calling me sexy and baby early on was a sign that he was likely not very mature, but I hadn’t thought a whole lot else of it, I just remember that it made me uncomfortable and noticed he said sexy before he said beautiful. It was strange to me and had made me think that even though he seemed sweet in person his social skills may also not quite be where I’d want them to be. I was actually feeling guilty earlier today about the fact that I stooped talking to him out of the blue like that, but learning he lied about his age made me more confident that I had made the right decision in the beginning even though I’d started to question it. I’m thinking right now about starting a bachelors degree in social work, but I might switch into something else - I know that I have time to think about it, but I also know that I don’t want to completely make the wrong mistake. In the past I’ve actually been more relaxed about things like this but I’m getting older and starting to think more about a prospective life partner. Someone who calls me sexy, hot, and/or baby on the same day of meeting when he hasn’t planned a date yet is just not my type. Being asked if I’m married was flattering to me, and I did sense he was attracted to both my face and body (I’ve started to recognize that I need to be careful so I don’t just end up with someone who really only likes my body and/or weight) but I knew something was up with the language being used. I suspect that he was an ESFP, actually, but ESFJ is a possibility as well. He had seemed extroverted when I met him in person (I actually feel like there’s a way to “tell” whether or not a person is an extrovert.) I admit that I wasn’t immediately super attracted to him (not that I found him unattractive I think he looks normal) but the marriage comment was flattering to me and had made me expect things may go differently than they actually ended up going, because I had felt like if you assume a woman is married it means you think fairly highly of her and I had liked that. This may not have been a smart assumption on my end. If you ask someone if they’re married most of the time I think it means that you don’t believe that they’re unattractive, but it actually really was flattering to me that someone thought I *might* be married. It makes a person stand out above other men in my mind, or at least it did here, because I have met men before who felt that I wasn’t the marrying type and it’s nice to meet someone who you can tell really thinks you’re cute and has a different opinion, when you come out in no makeup and you weren’t trying to look nice.

I have no idea what my enneagram type is. I have actually spent a fair amount of time trying to look into it and I’ve just never been able to figure it out.

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Honestly? Ain't jealous of you.

ISTP'S how would you get unbanned from /INFJ if you were an INFJ?

A bit late to the trend but I had fun

Bored at work

What does your “comfortable baseline” look like with someone? How can you tell genuine enjoyment from politeness?

What is the stereotype you hate about istps?

Abandoned House found hidden in a cave.

How many of you would describe yourselves as kind, respectful, or gentle?

[ Removed by moderator ]

What is istp love language and how do you know if they love you

How much does ISTPs stalk people.

Are you guys really high on pda and what about yearning

Type help?

Which mbti is easiest to get along with for ISTPs

Do yall feel like you talk too much?

Tell me about your type!

New Trend for MBTI Collage

Heeeey ;)

Why is it when I try to upskill or learn something new for job hunting/certifications becomes a procrastination marathon?

Quando estou de boa, viajo na mente