Asking advice from Reddit women and men regarding my personal issues.
I’m an engineer 23M, preparing for UPSC, and during coaching I started dating a girl from my classes. We’ve been together for around 7 months. Over time, I realized we have some fundamental differences. She likes spending a lot of time together and often prioritizes the relationship over her UPSC preparation. This has started creating frequent conflicts because I need more personal space and time to focus on my studies and work on myself.
I also come from a situation with huge family pressure regarding my career and future. I left a ₹10 LPA job to prepare for UPSC, so there’s already constant stress about expectations, stability, and whether I made the right decision. Because of that, I’ve become very protective of my time and mental peace.
A few times, I tried suggesting a breakup because I felt the relationship was becoming emotionally exhausting for both of us, but it never really happened. Out of frustration during one argument, I told her that I had started liking another girl. The truth is, I did begin developing feelings for someone else emotionally, although I never approached or pursued that girl in any way.
I know this was hurtful and unfair, and I accept that I made a mistake by emotionally drifting and then admitting it abruptly. Since then, things have become very toxic between us. There are constant fights about cheating, trust, attention, and space. She calls frequently, wants reassurance, and expects me to spend more time with her, while I feel mentally drained and unable to focus on UPSC preparation. My mental health is getting affected badly.
At the same time, I also don’t think it’s right to simply say “yes” every time she wants to meet or talk when I genuinely need space. I’m confused between guilt, responsibility, and the need to protect my peace and career. Now i understand, i shouldn't have dated anyone during upsc, but it happened. I want to stay single till I get settled.
Dear Reddit women, I genuinely want honest opinions:
Was I wrong for admitting my feelings honestly?
Is this relationship already emotionally over?
How do I end things respectfully without hurting her more?
L