u/Economy_Handle_848

hi all.

I am a UK expat living in Malaysia. I have bank accounts in both countries.

I have a steady job, savings in a high yield savings account in the UK and I am also contributing to my Malaysian EPF fund at 15% of my salary I also have a pension from my previous role in the UK, I’m not sure how much is in there currently

I would like to invest more but I don’t know where to start, can someone explain to me, like I am 5 year old, where, how and what to invest?

I’d appreciate the help. thank you everyone 😊

Hi everyone

I’m sorry in advance, there’s a lot of context and to make sure that the advice I get isn’t biased or anyway I want to try and give you the full picture.

I am married with a 5 year old. My husband has a son from a previous relationship, who is now in secondary school. His relationship with his former partner is not great but not volatile. My husband has always remained civil and not rose to the bait and actions of his former partner for the sake of his son, he has kept communication with his former partner via email to stop some of the things that were happening on other communication channels.

His former partner also has another child from another previous relationship who is now in their late teens who we have not seen for a number of years. This was not our decision, we do not know why they stopped coming to our house- we have asked and tried but this isn’t happening.

when I met my husband, I always told him how much I wanted to live abroad. Not forever, but for a period of time to experience this chance. We also are very lucky to have professions where we can do this relatively straightforward.

As time has gone on, this never happened. His children were the priority, pandemic and falling pregnant meant that this ambition was not meant to be. However, a chance arose in late 2025. His child from his previous relationship is now much older in secondary school and naturally we do not see them as much due to them wanting their own life beyond their parents etc. Our child had just started their first year of primary . We were both offered jobs Abroad, basically doing our dream jobs for two years, with excellent benefits and salaries. my role in particular is something I have dreamt of and it was a huge moment for me personally.

My husband spoke with his former partner and their child they were both happy for us to pursue these opportunities. I also felt due to the age of my child, it was probably now or never, they were still young enough where lasting friendships hadn’t been made, and they would have the chance for a world class education and opportunities that just simply would not have happened back home.

January 2026 we made the move. Since then, life has been more challenging than expected. When we moved, his mother and sister asked if they could still gain access to my husband‘s older child. This of course was not a problem with us and we helped to facilitate this . His former partner was also supportive, which was great news, and was happy to facilitate this. It was arranged by the sister to collect my husband‘s child just to take them out for say a cinema visit.

we did not know this but It actually turned out to be something a little different, my husband‘s sister, Mum, the rest of the siblings and the rest of their partners all attended and it was more a huge meal and then back to one of their homes. They also invited The child who we have not had contact over five years. This absolutely devastated my husband. He never wanted to break contact, and has always tried to mend that , even though we are not sure why it broke down in the first place- like I said- they just didn’t turn up one day and despite trying to figure out why we were met with point blank refusal to talk about it. Even his child has told us he has been told not to speak about it. So we have had to assume they were told they were not biologically my husbands- he doesn’t care and considers himself their dad regardless.

Anyway, To say that he was inconsolable, is an understatement. He felt as though he has done something wrong, yet he doesn’t know what it is and everyone has waited for him to leave to then effectively go behind his back.

Another meeting was arranged, we only found out as one of the brothers was posting pictures, on a group chat of his family, including the estranged child on their group chat. I couldn’t get my husband out of bed he was so upset to see this person again, and not sure why it is him they won’t see. it literally broke his heart. The same brother also then wanted to add this grown child to the group chat that my husband is in with the rest of his family. I just felt that this was really weird, considering my husband and this child would be in a group chat talking even though they haven’t seen each other in years. My husband mentioned this and the brother said he didn’t really ‘think’.

Then, a third visit happened again the entire family plus extended family lots of photos also posted, also on social media. Lots of questions being posted on these photos about the appearance of the older child and what was happening and how and why by people. it felt like a total loss of privacy, even though we had no idea that this was happening. Then to make it even more complicated, the brother that I have spoken about plus his girlfriend went to The former partner’s house, my husband old home, and went in for a catch up and chat before going with the rest of the family and the two children. His sister, who was arranging this, was meant to be collecting the children and had no idea this was happening, so when the door opened to my husband’s former Home and it was her brother answering it. It made it even more confusing. We had no idea this was happening again and just feels really off Sister said she didn’t feel comfortable with this too as the boundaries are blurring.

Meanwhile, My husband was asked to go on a work trip to another country. When he came home, I assumed his quiet mood was in relation to all of the things that were happening back home.

one night, after putting my son to bed, my husband sat me down and explained that on the work trip, he had got incredibly drunk and had paid for a sex worker, I was absolutely devastated. To make matters worse, he told me because he had contracted a sexually transmitted infection.

He has started counselling because he feels as though he has lost control of his life- also aware what he has done is disgusting and completely disrespectful to me and the marriage.

I genuinely am now struggling to stay in a foreign country, minimal support, parenting, trying to figure my new job out and navigating a huge, catastrophic blow to my marriage which is now in a state of limbo. While I understand people do ridiculous things under trauma and pressure, I’m struggling to get over the betrayal.

I genuinely don’t know whether or not I should just go? I feel as though we came abroad because of a lifelong desire of my own and I have forced and push something for my own agenda which has now had catastrophic repercussions for my husband and his family because I’m not sure there is any coming back from some of this. He feels blindsided, and betrayed by some of his family, particularly his brother. I am not present for my own child and feel as though I am barely keeping my head above water, but I am exhausted, and just checked out. I know my child senses something is wrong too and it is breaking my heart.

What do I do? Do I try and stick this out? Do I keep going for the sake of an ambition I have had, or do I go because I am hurt, sad, and alone. I don’t feel i can talk to anyone not here any I definitely can’t spill this over FaceTime I just can’t .

I’m aware this is already a very long post, but there is so much nuance to this. That’s hard to get down in words as I’m still very emotional. I would just really like to hear some opinions on what you guys think I should do or what you have done if you’re in a similar situation.

Thank you for reading.

TL;DR Stay for the dream job or go home for support?

Hi everyone

I’m sorry in advance, there’s a lot of context and to make sure that the advice I get isn’t biased or anyway I want to try and give you the full picture.

I am married with a 5 year old. My husband has a son from a previous relationship, who is now in secondary school. His relationship with his former partner is not great but not volatile. My husband has always remained civil and not rose to the bait and actions of his former partner for the sake of his son, he has kept communication with his former partner via email to stop some of the things that were happening on other communication channels.

His former partner also has another child from another previous relationship who is now in their late teens who we have not seen for a number of years. This was not our decision, we do not know why they stopped coming to our house- we have asked and tried but this isn’t happening.

when I met my husband, I always told him how much I wanted to live abroad. Not forever, but for a period of time to experience this chance. We also are very lucky to have professions where we can do this relatively straightforward.

As time has gone on, this never happened. His children were the priority, pandemic and falling pregnant meant that this ambition was not meant to be. However, a chance arose in late 2025. His child from his previous relationship is now much older in secondary school and naturally we do not see them as much due to them wanting their own life beyond their parents etc. Our child had just started their first year of primary . We were both offered jobs Abroad, basically doing our dream jobs for two years, with excellent benefits and salaries. my role in particular is something I have dreamt of and it was a huge moment for me personally.

My husband spoke with his former partner and their child they were both happy for us to pursue these opportunities. I also felt due to the age of my child, it was probably now or never, they were still young enough where lasting friendships hadn’t been made, and they would have the chance for a world class education and opportunities that just simply would not have happened back home.

January 2026 we made the move. Since then, life has been more challenging than expected. When we moved, his mother and sister asked if they could still gain access to my husband‘s older child. This of course was not a problem with us and we helped to facilitate this . His former partner was also supportive, which was great news, and was happy to facilitate this. It was arranged by the sister to collect my husband‘s child just to take them out for say a cinema visit.

we did not know this but It actually turned out to be something a little different, my husband‘s sister, Mum, the rest of the siblings and the rest of their partners all attended and it was more a huge meal and then back to one of their homes. They also invited The child who we have not had contact over five years. This absolutely devastated my husband. He never wanted to break contact, and has always tried to mend that , even though we are not sure why it broke down in the first place- like I said- they just didn’t turn up one day and despite trying to figure out why we were met with point blank refusal to talk about it. Even his child has told us he has been told not to speak about it. So we have had to assume they were told they were not biologically my husbands- he doesn’t care and considers himself their dad regardless.

Anyway, To say that he was inconsolable, is an understatement. He felt as though he has done something wrong, yet he doesn’t know what it is and everyone has waited for him to leave to then effectively go behind his back.

Another meeting was arranged, we only found out as one of the brothers was posting pictures, on a group chat of his family, including the estranged child on their group chat. I couldn’t get my husband out of bed he was so upset to see this person again, and not sure why it is him they won’t see. it literally broke his heart. The same brother also then wanted to add this grown child to the group chat that my husband is in with the rest of his family. I just felt that this was really weird, considering my husband and this child would be in a group chat talking even though they haven’t seen each other in years. My husband mentioned this and the brother said he didn’t really ‘think’.

Then, a third visit happened again the entire family plus extended family lots of photos also posted, also on social media. Lots of questions being posted on these photos about the appearance of the older child and what was happening and how and why by people. it felt like a total loss of privacy, even though we had no idea that this was happening. Then to make it even more complicated, the brother that I have spoken about plus his girlfriend went to The former partner’s house, my husband old home, and went in for a catch up and chat before going with the rest of the family and the two children. His sister, who was arranging this, was meant to be collecting the children and had no idea this was happening, so when the door opened to my husband’s former Home and it was her brother answering it. It made it even more confusing. We had no idea this was happening again and just feels really off Sister said she didn’t feel comfortable with this too as the boundaries are blurring.

Meanwhile, My husband was asked to go on a work trip to another country. When he came home, I assumed his quiet mood was in relation to all of the things that were happening back home.

one night, after putting my son to bed, my husband sat me down and explained that on the work trip, he had got incredibly drunk and had paid for a sex worker, I was absolutely devastated. To make matters worse, he told me because he had contracted a sexually transmitted infection.

He has started counselling because he feels as though he has lost control of his life- also aware what he has done is disgusting and completely disrespectful to me and the marriage.

I genuinely am now struggling to stay in a foreign country, minimal support, parenting, trying to figure my new job out and navigating a huge, catastrophic blow to my marriage which is now in a state of limbo. While I understand people do ridiculous things under trauma and pressure, I’m struggling to get over the betrayal.

I genuinely don’t know whether or not I should just go? I feel as though we came abroad because of a lifelong desire of my own and I have forced and push something for my own agenda which has now had catastrophic repercussions for my husband and his family because I’m not sure there is any coming back from some of this. He feels blindsided, and betrayed by some of his family, particularly his brother. I am not present for my own child and feel as though I am barely keeping my head above water, but I am exhausted, and just checked out. I know my child senses something is wrong too and it is breaking my heart.

What do I do? Do I try and stick this out? Do I keep going for the sake of an ambition I have had, or do I go because I am hurt, sad, and alone. I don’t feel i can talk to anyone not here any I definitely can’t spill this over FaceTime I just can’t .

I’m aware this is already a very long post, but there is so much nuance to this. That’s hard to get down in words as I’m still very emotional. I would just really like to hear some opinions on what you guys think I should do or what you have done if you’re in a similar situation.

Thank you for reading.

Hi everyone

I’m sorry in advance, there’s a lot of context and to make sure that the advice I get isn’t biased or anyway I want to try and give you the full picture.

I am married with a 5 year old. My husband has a son from a previous relationship, who is now in secondary school. His relationship with his former partner is not great but not volatile. My husband has always remained civil and not rose to the bait and actions of his former partner for the sake of his son, he has kept communication with his former partner via email to stop some of the things that were happening on other communication channels.

His former partner also has another child from another previous relationship who is now in their late teens who we have not seen for a number of years. This was not our decision, we do not know why they stopped coming to our house- we have asked and tried but this isn’t happening.

when I met my husband, I always told him how much I wanted to live abroad. Not forever, but for a period of time to experience this chance. We also are very lucky to have professions where we can do this relatively straightforward.

As time has gone on, this never happened. His children were the priority, pandemic and falling pregnant meant that this ambition was not meant to be. However, a chance arose in late 2025. His child from his previous relationship is now much older in secondary school and naturally we do not see them as much due to them wanting their own life beyond their parents etc. Our child had just started their first year of primary . We were both offered jobs Abroad, basically doing our dream jobs for two years, with excellent benefits and salaries. my role in particular is something I have dreamt of and it was a huge moment for me personally.

My husband spoke with his former partner and their child they were both happy for us to pursue these opportunities. I also felt due to the age of my child, it was probably now or never, they were still young enough where lasting friendships hadn’t been made, and they would have the chance for a world class education and opportunities that just simply would not have happened back home.

January 2026 we made the move. Since then, life has been more challenging than expected. When we moved, his mother and sister asked if they could still gain access to my husband‘s older child. This of course was not a problem with us and we helped to facilitate this . His former partner was also supportive, which was great news, and was happy to facilitate this. It was arranged by the sister to collect my husband‘s child just to take them out for say a cinema visit.

we did not know this but It actually turned out to be something a little different, my husband‘s sister, Mum, the rest of the siblings and the rest of their partners all attended and it was more a huge meal and then back to one of their homes. They also invited The child who we have not had contact over five years. This absolutely devastated my husband. He never wanted to break contact, and has always tried to mend that , even though we are not sure why it broke down in the first place- like I said- they just didn’t turn up one day and despite trying to figure out why we were met with point blank refusal to talk about it. Even his child has told us he has been told not to speak about it. So we have had to assume they were told they were not biologically my husbands- he doesn’t care and considers himself their dad regardless.

Anyway, To say that he was inconsolable, is an understatement. He felt as though he has done something wrong, yet he doesn’t know what it is and everyone has waited for him to leave to then effectively go behind his back.

Another meeting was arranged, we only found out as one of the brothers was posting pictures, on a group chat of his family, including the estranged child on their group chat. I couldn’t get my husband out of bed he was so upset to see this person again, and not sure why it is him they won’t see. it literally broke his heart. The same brother also then wanted to add this grown child to the group chat that my husband is in with the rest of his family. I just felt that this was really weird, considering my husband and this child would be in a group chat talking even though they haven’t seen each other in years. My husband mentioned this and the brother said he didn’t really ‘think’.

Then, a third visit happened again the entire family plus extended family lots of photos also posted, also on social media. Lots of questions being posted on these photos about the appearance of the older child and what was happening and how and why by people. it felt like a total loss of privacy, even though we had no idea that this was happening. Then to make it even more complicated, the brother that I have spoken about plus his girlfriend went to The former partner’s house, my husband old home, and went in for a catch up and chat before going with the rest of the family and the two children. His sister, who was arranging this, was meant to be collecting the children and had no idea this was happening, so when the door opened to my husband’s former Home and it was her brother answering it. It made it even more confusing. We had no idea this was happening again and just feels really off Sister said she didn’t feel comfortable with this too as the boundaries are blurring.

Meanwhile, My husband was asked to go on a work trip to another country. When he came home, I assumed his quiet mood was in relation to all of the things that were happening back home.

one night, after putting my son to bed, my husband sat me down and explained that on the work trip, he had got incredibly drunk and had paid for a sex worker, I was absolutely devastated. To make matters worse, he told me because he had contracted a sexually transmitted infection.

He has started counselling because he feels as though he has lost control of his life- also aware what he has done is disgusting and completely disrespectful to me and the marriage.

I genuinely am now struggling to stay in a foreign country, minimal support, parenting, trying to figure my new job out and navigating a huge, catastrophic blow to my marriage which is now in a state of limbo. While I understand people do ridiculous things under trauma and pressure, I’m struggling to get over the betrayal.

I genuinely don’t know whether or not I should just go? I feel as though we came abroad because of a lifelong desire of my own and I have forced and push something for my own agenda which has now had catastrophic repercussions for my husband and his family because I’m not sure there is any coming back from some of this. He feels blindsided, and betrayed by some of his family, particularly his brother. I am not present for my own child and feel as though I am barely keeping my head above water, but I am exhausted, and just checked out. I know my child senses something is wrong too and it is breaking my heart.

What do I do? Do I try and stick this out? Do I keep going for the sake of an ambition I have had, or do I go because I am hurt, sad, and alone. I don’t feel i can talk to anyone not here any I definitely can’t spill this over FaceTime I just can’t .

I’m aware this is already a very long post, but there is so much nuance to this. That’s hard to get down in words as I’m still very emotional. I would just really like to hear some opinions on what you guys think I should do or what you have done if you’re in a similar situation.

Thank you for reading.