u/EddiesGarage

I have a best friend who’s been in my life for the last 4 years. We’re long distance, so we talk on the phone a lot. I would say most weeks we talk every other day, and we can talk for hours sometimes. We both support each other through things we’re going through and I’d say we’ve both had a rough go of it this past year.

A few days ago she called and wanted to talk about somethings we had been discussing for weeks. I felt somewhat frustrated, because she has not made any of the appropriate boundaries or changes in her life to keep these problems from happening, and frankly when we talk during the work day I’m not very focused. I shouldn’t have taken the call. She also said something the day before that was so incredibly insensitive I wasn’t very interested in the talk. I very frankly told her it’s time for her to go back to therapy. And that our friendship was mainly comprised of big heavy topics, and no levity. I can definitely see now how I should have separated those two conversations.

The next day she texts me how disappointed she was in the conversation and that “for once she needed to lean on me.” Which is simply not true. I’ve been emotionally drained by our conversations and I have been listening to her talk about her problems for years. So that all or nothing statement really made me angry.

Then we got on the phone and she told me my ability to be a good supportive friend is mood dependent, and that if I’m in a bad mood I’m not a very good listener and I say rude comments. She then said she has listened to me on end regardless of mood and this was unfair. I think the mood comment is good feedback, and something to pay attention to, but then she told me she had been talking to me for hours and had to stay late at work sometimes because of it. I never asked her to do that and she is more than welcome to tell me she can’t talk. The thing that makes me super upset about this comment is she’s acting like these conversations were ONLY about me. That’s nowhere near reality. We weave our stories like a natural conversation and talk about both of our lives.

She then told me that she had been harboring resentment for years based on other comments I had said. I asked for examples and her examples were taken so far out of context I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I didn’t try to argue, I just apologized and told her I’ve never had a negative thought about her in those ways, which is the truth, so if that’s what she took away from it I’m incredibly sorry.

She also told me that she withholds happy things in her life from me, an example being that she received a raise at work but told me since I was going through a tough time at work she didn’t want to tell me. I told her of course she could tell me and I would be happy for her. I’m so confused as to how she jumped to that conclusion.

I asked her how long she’s felt this way and she said since she bought her house. It seemed to me that she was hinting at me being jealous and rude about her home. Which was shocking to me because when she bought her home I made sure to over do my reaction because of how much she felt unsupported by others in her life.

The part that really hurt, was that for months she’s been telling me stories about how her family sucks then saying “people in my life think everything is ok and we have a great relationship, but it’s because I’m being fake. No one reciprocates my support for them.” And in those moments I’m telling her F them you deserve better, and she said she was also including me in those statements.

When the fight first happened I sent her flowers and an apology, because I’m genuinely sorry for any hurt. Yesterday I sent her a very thoughtfully crafted message that also called out her approach to all of this, and her inability to be honest with me and blind siding me when I thought we had a fantastic relationship. I have checked in with her about how I’m doing as a friend many times and never heard a single complaint just reassurance. We have multiple trips to see each other lined up, and recently she’s been pushing to make them sooner.

Has this happened to anyone else? How do you forgive or do you? It feels to me pretty impossible to come back from a 180 flip like this.

My closest friend texted me yesterday to tell me that our conversation the day before was very hurtful. She said our relationship has become one sided and for once she needed to lean on me. I said I was so sorry and let’s talk it out. We get on the phone and she tells me yesterday hurt her, but that she has been feeling resentful of me for a very long time. I started to cry because I was completely shocked.

Our relationship is spent over the phone because we’re long distance, and quite frankly I spend hours and hours on the phone with her. I know all of the things she’s going through and she knows everything going on with me. She said that we only talk about my problems, which is very untrue. She also said that she has to work overtime to make up for the time we talk, and I told her I’ve never asked her to do that and if she can’t talk she could always tell me now isn’t a good time.

She has been venting to me for months about how people in her life don’t reciprocate her emotional generosity. I asked her, if she was talk to me about me without directly saying it and she said yes. This was incredibly hurtful as I’ve said how much those people don’t deserve her time, and tried to be a supportive friend around that.

I then asked her for some examples of things that made her resentful, and one of the things she brought up was that when she was buying a house I made rude comments. Which was again shocking because she made a very big deal to me about how no one else was being supportive about her house, so I tried to over do it. I actually asked her for feedback on if she felt like I was a good supportive friend around the subject and she told me yes I did incredibly well.

She also told me that our conversations were very dependent on my mood, and when I was in a bad mood I say shitty comments and what I’m really thinking come out, but when I’m in a good mood I’m a great friend. I asked for an example of a shitty comment and she said that when we were in person I told her she looked different in her photos than in real life. I have no recollection of this comment, but I told her I don’t know the context but I do know that I think she’s an incredibly beautiful woman and have never had a negative thought about her appearance, so I’m sorry if I said something that rubbed her the wrong way.

I then told her that I’ve noticed some passive aggressive comments from her, and her resentment must have been where those came from. She got angry that I called her passive aggressive and hung up the phone.

The hard part of all of this for me is it feels like it rewrites history. I have thousands of texts and memories of her telling me I’m the only one who understands her, I’m the only one she really likes, I’m a great friend, I’m a great listener and all of the sudden everything is about me and I’m a selfish person.

I knew she was going to be upset about the conversation the day before because I told her, that her current issues were greater than I could provide comfort for and that she needed to go back to therapy. I have been listening to months of her getting angry that certain people treat her a certain way, but she keeps putting herself in those positions. Frankly I’ve been at my wits end about it. Telling her to go to therapy, was the nicest thing I could have said in that moment. I also told her during that conversation that if she did decide to cut off her family I would be more than happy to have her over for the holidays, because she is my family. I also texted her afterwards and said “btw, love you you’re doing great.”

If this isn’t me being a supportive friend I don’t know if I’ll ever make the status quo, but personally I’m scared because I’ve been here before. I’ve had these intense friendships crash and burn with the other person having very serious mental health issues and then them damaging my self esteem by writing manifestos of how bad I suck.

I’ve always known my boss (and her husband that owns the business) aren’t good people. I learned to manage her and their expectations and just keep my head down, and we had a relatively amicable relationship. They have these weird tedtalks at work about us telling them when we want to leave and that they would also do us the favor if we’re no longer needed 🤣. Obviously, there’s no trusting that.

I put in my notice, didn’t even say what the timeframe was, and my boss immediately says how disappointed she is that I didn’t give her notice (I actually did tell HR it wasn’t a long term fit for me, but it was another meeting she just couldn’t be bothered to attend). She said there’s no way she can find my replacement in two weeks!! 🤣 omg what a big issue! I guess you’ll have to hire someone like everyone else lol.

I made the mistake of trying to reason with her and she doubled down that I was screwing her over, and at such an inconvenient time.

What she doesn’t know is that half of her company has called me to tell me goodbye, I’ve told them what happened, and none of them are surprised and they’re all checked out and on their way out. Bye MFers 🔥

Since I was 19 I’ve had visual disturbances, GI issues, and migraine with aura. Back then (over a decade ago) they were being investigated separately, so I thought the migraines happened every so often, with chronic “stress” headaches.

Years go by and I start having neurological issues, and am labeled as someone with an anxiety disorder. It makes sense though, because I was having daily auras, and didn’t know it. Visuals, weird sensations, aphasia, etc. I thought I was going crazy. The only thing that really seemed to help were benzos/alcohol to calm my nerves, but then the same ugly cycle.

Now that I understand the migraine threshold it all makes sense. I never gave my body what it needed to get out of a migraine state. It wasn’t until my latest diagnosis “persistent aura without infarction” that I was forced to address it. I gaslit myself for years, thinking it was anxiety and it was all in my head.

My new neurologist prescribed a bridge therapy, ubrelvy rescue meds, and gave me the diagnosis of chronic migraine, visual snow, and persistent visual aura without infarction. I feel like I understand myself and my body for the first time. Now I just have to maintain my regimen.

Years of anxiety, not being able to function, and not being believed. All it took was losing part of my vision for a month to be believed.

Just looking for others with similar experiences. I’ve had migraine with aura since I was a teenager. I had gone a long time without one until this April. I started seeing a spot in my right peripheral for a day, then had a really bad migraine on day 2. Since then the spot has remained. It seems to go away in low light, and is less noticeable now. It looks like a little jelly fish blob most of the time, but in bright natural light it looks like a grey spot.

I’ve had an MRI/MRA/MRV, seen an opthamologist, 2 retinal specialists who did scans of my retina and a visual field mapping test. All are normal.

My doctor floated around the idea of intracranial hypertension because I started to get pulsatile tinnitus last year as well. But my optic nerves look normal.

My new neurologist wants me to do a bridge therapy of a short span of depakote, raglan, and Naratriptan. He said if the spot doesn’t go away after 30 days, we’ll do a lumbar puncture to check for intracranial hypertension.

I’m exhausted by all of this at this point. Anyone have a similar story?

United States
Last week I had a 1:1 with my boss and told her I wanted to schedule time to talk about my growth at the company. She asked me to extend our 1:1 next week and let’s talk. I’ve had nothing but positive performance reviews and I’m coming up on my 1 year with the company. I have also expressed that I wanted to move up within leadership and fast.

Today though she rescheduled the meeting and told me she wanted to make sure our fractional HR director could join. Of course, now I’m freaking out.

This is a pretty small company, and I am manager level. The company has been hitting all of their revenue goals and has done some growth but is focused on scale.

Any tips on why HR needs to be there?

Ok y’all it has been quite the journey the last two weeks, but wondering if anyone else has been down this road. I have a persistent visual aura in my right eye peripheral vision that’s been there for 12 days.

Day 1 - had what looked like a visual aura coming on and a mild headache, but the aura never turned into my normal zigzag and was just why seems like a persistent after image. I also had some diarrhea/GI problems that day which aren’t unusual for my migraines.

Day 2 - still there, went to an ophthalmologist and was cleared by her. She has been treating me for dry eye

Day 3-4 - went to my primary doc because I couldn’t get in for neurologist. She gave me sumatriptan and I had a horrid reaction to that. Muscle tenseness, nausea, etc.

Day 5- woke up with level 10 migraine and also started my period. Hoping that was the reason behind all of this. Took advil and called out of work. Headache eventually settled but not the aura.

Day 6-9 pressure headache and nausea that would come and go, and aura still persistent.

Day 10 - finally got to see my neurologist and he was worried about the aura being a fixed blurry spot. I had a retina specialist appointment as well that day and they did a retina CT scan and imaging and everything was normal. Neurologist told me he was calling in steroids to treat it as migraine

Day 11 - I take the steroid, no change to aura but had a bad headache. At some fries and coke and started to feel better. Went shopping all day and when I got home my lower back and legs hurt so bad it felt like I had ran a marathon. Later in the evening my left arm started to hurt the same.

Day 12- couldn’t sleep pain was so bad and spread to other arm and went to the ER. Was given muscle relaxers, fluids and felt much much better. My heart rate was pretty low in the 40’s, I dont recall it ever being that low. They told me to wait to take my daily propranolol until it was up. Blood work came back clean

Now I’m at home with a headache, treating with Advil and still the persistent spot. I have to talk to a new neurologist tomorrow because mine left his practice the day I saw home. I have a visual field mapping test with the retina specialist as well on Monday.

I am so confused about the pain because all I do on Saturday was go shopping… no work out just in my feet browsing. I also drink water to no end these days. I never feel hydrated enough, and have mild dehydration effects so much that I drink 120 ounces daily and have a liquid IV maybe every other day.

Any thoughts or similar stories?