I think about it everyday
I smoked for close to 10 years, every evening.
I miss it so much. Every day I think about it.
Sometimes I think what a waste of life it is not to smoke my spliffs.
Im sober. I take no medications, dont drink or smoke anything. I do daily walks, journal, meditate, cook and eat healthy, socialize, go to work. I always did. Even when I smoked my spliffs at night.
And now its feels like such a waste to not roll that spliff at nights, get lost into it, listen to music, play games. Roll another spliff.
Do a late night walk with my neighbor talking about life.
But might as well die from smoking, something I love, than dieing from some other random shit I cant control either way.
Its been such a long time I havent smoked, but my circumstances are the same, just sober yet I constantly feel high. My eyes are lazy and sensitive my eyelids still feel swollen from all the blood thats been pumped there.
Smoking never made anything worse for me, now stopping nothingbecame better.
And all that for what. For dieing healthy?