u/EfficiencyStriking38

Hai!

Reddit recommended this subreddit to me the other day and I've been reading some of the posts. Oh yes, sounds very familiar... the restrictions, expectations, insults, punishments (borderline abuse), lack of any sort of freedom... whole nine yard!

I'd like to shed some light and bring some hopes. Becoming financially independent and move out permanently is the best thing EVER! I can leave early, stay out late, eat whatever I want, have all sorts of hobbies! My parents did pry me and continue to try to intimidate and control me for some years despite of my independence. Eventually I wrote them both a long email stating being financially responsible and having a near 800 credit score (Asians love numbers) and that they need to leave me the hell alone. Mom didn't say anything. Dad stated understanding and agree will try to overlook some of my life decisions.

Seriously, being responsible for myself is the best thing ever. Whenever I see other folks my age complaining about "adulting is hard" and "I hate adulting", I chuckle in distain. lol, spoiled rotten children weren't ya? I guess in some ways I should thank my parents for giving me a hard childhood so now I am an adult, barely anything is hard or overwhelming (ok fine socializing and dating takes a bit but I eventually figured it out). Made a mistake? Oh let me fix it real quick, no problem. Lots of things going on? Oh let me utilize my trained organization skillz.

I wasn't allowed to do or own much of anything as a kid, but now I got all kinds of toys. I'm making up all the lost funs x10!!! Rock climb, canyoneer, mountain bike, check check check! It's ok to fall, no one is screaming at me in insulting terms or restricting me from doing anything again, just get back up. I do see my parents weekly basis. Sometimes when they misbehave a scold them, hahahahaha, omg I enjoy scolding them so much. "Get back here! we don't cut line!", "You need to stop complaining and go get checked by doctor!" I make so much sense they can't get mad at me.

I can make an invitation post, adventure plan post, recommendation post, logical/problem solving post, research result post-- and these get next to no reaction. But once in a while I light whine and get LOTS of comments and likes. lmao do FB user love whining crying emo drama or what?? I have an event organizer friend said she had that figured out so she purposedly light whine once in a while so to keep up engagement.

Happens mostly when I post questions/offers/invites in multiple social media groups, or chat groups. Like why why why??? Before I do it I get ignored, but after I've done it I get attention. I'm a social person and would really love to have company and support to come do the thing with. I also ask people one by one and try to convince them but that gets really exhausting after a few "no"s.

Hi all! Reddit recommend me this sub while I was looking up technical outdoor activity related topics lol. I guess maybe I mentioned enough times about no longer being ignored or something.

I don't consider myself ugly. I think I look clean, healthy, and that's all I really care about appearance-wise. Although I've had many in the past made not-so-kind comments about my looks, which I can't do anything about and unwilling to do anything about to please their eyes.

I've read a few posts in this sub about being ignored and I 100% resonate with. It makes it super hard when new at something and want to learn more, or trying to get into community for group activities. If no one gives a chance then it's really really hard to start! I must say there were instances I see good-looking people get included right away as newbies, while on the other hand I'm trying to offer what I can and willing to do and get no responses.

So since I want to do all these awesome outdoor activities, I did whatever I can to learn and get experiences. I pay full price for coaches and instructors. I buy my own gear. There were times when I went out myself and do things myself so I can get some numbers in, and get fast at these activities. I even rock climb outside by myself because I couldn't get anyone to belay me lol. One time I legit had a good looking person asked me "You had to pay $300 to learn this??" Another time I had another good looking person accusing me "You must be picky with what group you want to get in! Because there are so many groups and people to do things with!" (obviously she had a different experience because all those groups had ignored me when I was new).

I just stuck it out, kept doing what I can, picked up other under-dogs if/when I encounter them. Learn well, go fast, try hard. Whenever I get (very rarely) a chance to join up with experience people and prove myself, I put in 100%. Overtime I started to earn a bit of okay reputation and a lot of experiences. I am thankful for whoever gave me a chance and let me be their teammate and friend. I have built fairly solid skillsets and some friendships through this long and hard journey. I am now about even playfield (if not more experienced than) with the really good looking people who were picked up by multiple experienced groups right off the bat because I put in extra effort.

Anyhow, that's my rant/story. I guess I just want to share... not having conventional attractive look is not the end of the road. Sure some of us may have a slower and harder start, but with effort, we can get places, and the right people will eventually see through the superficial and recognize true skills and knowledge.