u/Efficient_Two3747

Hello , F29, my parents think I will be rejected by every prospect because , quoting my dad “ if anyone sees I cosplay they will run away “
All super sfw btw.

This may sound familiar because I have been here posting before , but I reached my tipping point where ai am seriously considering marriage to get out of my environment.

He said no one decent will look at me and think “ this is the one I want to marry” and my mom doubled down on that , saying that no man is obliged to hear people saying “ look at what your wife is doing “

I have never been in a relationship and no one knows I cosplay ( everything separated / different names) and when I said I will not accept anyone who doesn’t accept all of me , he said I am wasting my future prospects for , his words not mine “ fooling around in a crazy outfit and making a clown out of myself”

No one came my way. And no one who didn’t come knew.
A lot of people are more public with their craft and got married and have kids even.
I reached the point where I am considering making an online plea. That I’ll marry anyone within the same job ish ( so my dad doesn’t reject) just as a facade.

It reached the point where it is either that or I want to take myself to some deserted place no one ever knows about.

I told them the answer they want to hear , that I will quit and delete my socials once marriage is on the table but he said the damage is done already.

Hello I am supposed to graduate ( best case scenario ) in December of this year or ( worse case ) next year in Spring depends on when I get back the response of my already submitted paper.

Usually my advisors have the approach of “ narrow it down to 3 unis first” then we’ll talk to people we know there. This is at least how I know it went with another student in our lab.
I could narrow it down to 3 countries ( UAE , Netherlands and Italy) but have no idea where to apply in those countries and where would it be more beneficial for me in terms of salary vs expenses vs quality of life.

I have a publication that received an IEEE spotlight article and another one that won an honorable mention in the main antenna and propagation conference amongst many countries.

Hence, I think I am more inclined towards research than teaching so I would rather a research heavy position where I could build on top of my achievements.

I open to other countries if anyone living in those countries think my opportunities could be better elsewhere.

I am warm and open to all kinds of cultures. I think my biggest asset is being the opposite of a procrastinator. I usually finish any given task a few days before its deadline so I could leave time in case anything goes wrong.

Hello I am supposed to graduate ( best case scenario ) in December of this year or ( worse case ) next year in Spring depends on when I get back the response of my already submitted paper.

Usually my advisors have the approach of “ narrow it down to 3 unis first” then we’ll talk to people we know there. This is at least how I know it went with another student in our lab.
I could narrow it down to 3 countries but have no idea where to apply in those countries and where would it be more beneficial for me in terms of salary vs expenses vs quality of life.

I have a publication that received an IEEE spotlight article and another one that won an honorable mention in the main antenna and propagation conference amongst many countries.

Hence, I think I am more inclined towards research than teaching so I would rather a research heavy position where I could build on top of my achievements.

I open to other countries if anyone living in those countries think my opportunities could be better elsewhere.

I am warm and open to all kinds of cultures. I think my biggest asset is being the opposite of a procrastinator. I usually finish any given task a few days before its deadline so I could leave time in case anything goes wrong.

Hello I am supposed to graduate ( best case scenario ) in December of this year or ( worse case ) next year in Spring depends on when I get back the response of my already submitted paper.

Usually my advisors have the approach of “ narrow it down to 3 unis first” then we’ll talk to people we know there. This is at least how I know it went with another student in our lab.
I could narrow it down to 3 countries but have no idea where to apply in those countries and where would it be more beneficial for me in terms of salary vs expenses vs quality of life.

I have a publication that received an IEEE spotlight article and another one that won an honorable mention in the main antenna and propagation conference amongst many countries.

Hence, I think I am more inclined towards research than teaching so I would rather a research heavy position where I could build on top of my achievements.

I open to other countries if anyone living in those countries think my opportunities could be better elsewhere.

I am warm and open to all kinds of cultures. I think my biggest asset is being the opposite of a procrastinator. I usually finish any given task a few days before its deadline so I could leave time in case anything goes wrong.

My M26 brother has always been the golden child of this family.
A few years ago he got an opportunity to continue his studies in another more advanced country.
At that time I was done with my masters degree and got offers for similar things abroad.
Both of us are in STEM.
To do that we had to have some money in the bank for visa stuff and my parents did help with a sum.
The only thing they helped my brother. Only him.
I was stuck in my home country, with wars and instability while he lives in luxury abroad.

Fast forward to this year, all delivery services have been completely cut off from where I am from.
I am doing a phd and as a side hustle during the war I decided to start a small crafts business.

I ordered a bunch of things for my business online to his address, and he flipped.

The supreme ruler is gracing us with his presence next week and he spent 45 minutes packing his luggage because of my stuff .

I have been wiped the floor with, with parents thinking “ then why didn’t you make money from your so called business already” , and not understanding that I need some basic items first that I couldn’t find anywhere because of the war.

My brother yelled, raised his voice ( the usual method) because he wasted 45 minutes on a Sunday night at 11 pm.

Well he procrastinated AF. The items were already fully there in March . He could’ve just unwrapped them and put them in the luggage then.
He had a 2 days off that he wasted time in but when I waste his time hell breaks loose.

He said anything I order in the future, he’ll throw away in the garbage without even looking at it.

I have been saving for this for over a year.
The items were all less than 8 kg and he had purchased 25 kg of weight. They could easily fit in the carry on and I still offered to pay for his weight purchase.

When he was applying for a bunch of places there I spent hours researching the costs and homes and rent and even what paperwork he’d needed done that could be done from my country.

But everyone thought it is my”duty” …
I want to move out to another country , despite the emotional weight of leaving my sick parents alone , just to have control over simple things and no longer feel like my brother holds all the power.

Seriously is it that difficult to want to order a friggin fabric type….

Just writing it down to vent.

I have had the same dream and been interested in arts ever since I was a kid. At 18 i was stuck between doing art or at least architecture which isn’t a stable job where i am from or majoring in engineering which my parents wanted since it was stable. After much discussion and living through a hell of a time, decided to do what my parents wanted but on the condition that I het to keep my art hobby and I still participate in conventions.
Gradually I lost my drawing hand due to a chronic disease, and I pivoted and picked up cosplay which I have only done 3 times prior. I am 29 now verging on 30. I dreaded the major so much that I did a phd ( which also my parents wanted) solely based on the fact that it leaves me more time to do my hobbies than a 9 to 5. And this is how I’ve kept sane. The phd was a means to an end.

I am graduating in a couple months and it has been daunting on me that everyone around me is asking me to quit my hobbies so i can preserve the professional image befitting of a doctor.
I saw myself more in research to be honest because dealing with students as part of my TA duties made me hate things more, while researching stuff , to me at least is less stressful and I don’t have to stand in a classroom full of people who made the choice to be there while i made my decision out of necessity.

I have been seeing a psychologist and started looking into jobs. Where I am from there are no research opportunities only teaching, and my parents are both out of work. My brother lives abroad and I am the only close proximity money making person in their lives, they have been pressuring me to apply to teaching positions and when i say no , because you’ll torment me with quitting my hobbies, they mock me by , quoting them “ jumping around in costume like a monkey is more important to you?”

Yes . Yes it is. I am on anti depressants and they want me confined in that mentally ill state my ehole life…?

My insta page was opened in 2012 and haven’t seen much success there and now i am working on a vtubing project. I have only 2 -3 months to prove that this is something i can do , that can bring money and most importantly live a happy fulfilled life, but that little time with a chronic illness is not much… once my model is done from my rigger I seriously need to make it big and “ viral” just to buy myself some time before I give up on my dreams.

Ps: middle eastern family, you may live elsewhere for work but you don’t fully move out in my culture till you are married.

Just writing it down to vent.

I have had the same dream and been interested in arts ever since I was a kid. At 18 i was stuck between doing art or at least architecture which isn’t a stable job where i am from or majoring in engineering which my parents wanted since it was stable. After much discussion and living through a hell of a time, decided to do what my parents wanted but on the condition that I het to keep my art hobby and I still participate in conventions.
Gradually I lost my drawing hand due to a chronic disease, and I pivoted and picked up cosplay which I have only done 3 times prior. I am 29 now verging on 30. I dreaded the major so much that I did a phd ( which also my parents wanted) solely based on the fact that it leaves me more time to do my hobbies than a 9 to 5. And this is how I’ve kept sane. The phd was a means to an end.

I am graduating in a couple months and it has been daunting on me that everyone around me is asking me to quit my hobbies so i can preserve the professional image befitting of a doctor.
I saw myself more in research to be honest because dealing with students as part of my TA duties made me hate things more, while researching stuff , to me at least is less stressful and I don’t have to stand in a classroom full of people who made the choice to be there while i made my decision out of necessity.

I have been seeing a psychologist and started looking into jobs. Where I am from there are no research opportunities only teaching, and my parents are both out of work. My brother lives abroad and I am the only close proximity money making person in their lives, they have been pressuring me to apply to teaching positions and when i say no , because you’ll torment me with quitting my hobbies, they mock me by , quoting them “ jumping around in costume like a monkey is more important to you?”

Yes . Yes it is. I am on anti depressants and they want me confined in that mentally ill state my ehole life…?

My insta page was opened in 2012 and haven’t seen much success there and now i am working on a vtubing project. I have only 2 -3 months to prove that this is something i can do , that can bring money and most importantly live a happy fulfilled life, but that little time with a chronic illness is not much… once my model is done from my rigger I seriously need to make it big and “ viral” just to buy myself some time before I give up on my dreams.

Ps: middle eastern family, you may live elsewhere for work but you don’t fully move out in my culture till you are married.