u/Either-Welder-6211

I only work 2 days a week so I'm practically always with my son. He is the absolute highlight of every day but I have to take a trip out of town overnight soon... He loves spending the night with his grandparents and cousins while I go on work trips so I don't know why I'm panicking and feeling terrible about it? Maybe it's because it's a "fun" trip and has nothing to do with work this time?

If anyone could give me any advice I'd appreciate that because I just feel so guilty for even thinking about leaving to go have fun.

I feel like a wimp. I haven't really vaped or smoked in the past year with barely any cravings, just quit cold turkey. I always used to love vaping and drinking when I'd go out with friends and since having my child 3 years ago, this is the first time I'll be going out to party a bit. I've taken a few puffs off of friend's cigarettes or vapes since then but it's never given me cravings to start up again.

I'm just sad that I can't do it for one night. Just one night to truly let go and do what I want ... And I can't.

I've been on Prozac for years and finally went from 20mg to 40mg about 12 weeks ago. Unfortunately I think it's just way too activating and my anxiety is off the charts (my whole body feels like it's buzzing, my heart is racing for no reason, I'm beyond fatigued but can't stop overthinking, I'm trembling, etc.). My doctor said I can drop back down to 20mg but I'm honestly terrified of any side effects like my anxiety increasing. I'm already on buspar twice a day so that should be helping with the anxiety but I also thought increasing prozac would make me better and not worse lol... Can anyone give me encouragement please? I have a baby to take care of and a job I can't miss, I just want to be normal again...