I’m confused about my emotional reaction to my grandma’s condition and wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced this.
I stayed in Mumbai for around 6 months and came back home in April. Since January I already felt really bad about having to leave mumbai because I genuinely didn’t want to come back. That affected me emotionally a lot.
After I came back, my grandma got paralysis and became bedridden. Now she’s almost in a coma/brain dead kind of state. The strange thing is I’m not feeling much emotionally about it.
This happened before too. Around 8 years ago when my grandpa died (and he was extremely close to me), I also didn’t really cry or feel much outwardly.
What confuses me is that I do feel emotions in other situations:
movies make me emotional
relationship stuff affects me
financial problems affect me
seeing poor people or people begging makes me sad
fights/conflict affect me
So I don’t think I’m emotionless or cold.
My grandma has lived with me since my school days, so it’s not like we were distant either.
I’m trying to understand why I become emotionally numb specifically in situations involving death or serious illness of close family members. Has anyone else experienced this kind of emotional shutdown or delayed grief?
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