u/Electrical_Drink2443

2 years ago my skin suddenly started freaking out and became bumpy after I used a weird black head suction tool and a very rough exfoliating glove. Social media and Amazon did a great job at convincing me my skin was not good enough.

I thought my skin would be smoother/clearer but lordy lord it went terribly wrong. I had no idea how bad it would get. Little did I know my skin was just great the way it was. It was healthy and normal. My skin was not meant to look like a TikTok filter.

I had never used an acid based product besides salicylic face wash or a very basic face wash for most of my life. I thought my issue was I needed to exfoliate and use more acid to “clear” my skin.

I was using acid based products and drying toners until it all went very wrong. My skin was dry, red, inflamed, bumpy and flaky.

Then I read about fungal acne and used a dandruff shampoo which helped a tiny bit for the first time since the issues started but my skin was still raging and reacting to everything.

At this point I stopped using almost everything and stopped using anything that made my skin react like sunscreen and toners. I went through five or six products that all failed and I ended up only using a very basic face wash and tried a different moisturizer every 2 weeks to see what my skin could handle.

It took almost 3 months of this and my skin was about 30% better. No more flakes but my skin was still not happy. I broke down and went to the derm which gave me ivermectin and said maybe rosacea after talking to me for 5 minutes.

During this time I also switched moisturizer and occlusive one at a time.

I used ivermectin from the derm for 2 weeks and slowly started using it every other day and then every 3rd day. I changed my sunscreen and 2 weeks later changed my foundation.

I stopped using ivermectin, added in sulfur soap every 3rd day instead and kept using the gentle face wash, the new moisturizer and occlusive.

For the first time in 2 years my skin looks and feels so good. It’s not perfect yet but I have seen continued improvement with the final adjustments to my routine. It took five months to get here and I’ll continue with this routine until something changes.

I also used to get very red irritated eyes when using makeup/moisturizers and that has also now improved.

I did blood work and found out I’m low in vitamin D and Iron. I now take vitamin d with vitamin k and iron. I think this was part of the bigger issue with my eye issues. I couldn’t use many moisturizers until this issue improved. I drink more water than ever.

I say all this to say don’t give up hope. Healing takes time and trial and error can feel hopeless. I couldn’t use a lot of the products that worked for other people. I also went back to a product that initially didn’t work but now works great since my barrier is more healed.

I spent so much time and money doing too much. My skin needed less. My skin craved a few good products consistently. My bad days left me feeling hopeless and I just wanted to hide my face. I cried in despair. It was so hard to know where to start and what to add or cut out.

This sub really helped me not feel alone and it was so comforting to have a place to learn about everyone’s experiences and see others find improvement in their skin.

I also made a little journal to document the type of reaction each product had on my skin good and bad. This made the process a little easier in pinpointing what to swap out after a few weeks and when something was helping one item at a time.

Patience and consistency are my friends now. I’ve accepted that today’s routine may not be my next year’s routine.

My only regret is not taking my time with selecting new tools and shiny products because the skin and beauty industry is ruthless at making us think we need more and our normal skin is something to fix at every turn.

For context I have struggled with food for as long as I can remember. I grew up with a mom that was severely underweight and very critical of my body. I ate a lot in secret as a kid. I was a bit malnourished as a kid and later overweight once I had freedom to eat without hiding when I moved out.

This pattern has spilled over into adulthood and I fight myself every day to maintain my weight. I have yo-yo dieted as long as I can remember and have lost the same 20 lbs many times over. I’m currently the same weight when I met my boyfriend years ago.

This brings me to current day. He also has issues around weight and fears gaining weight. He is at a very healthy weight and has a great workout routine and eats pretty well most days.

I have shared with him my issues with maintaining my weight or losing weight. He shares all his criticisms of anyone overweight he sees and how good or bad they look. I worry he secretly judges me too.

He regularly offers me snacks and foods that I have a weakness for after dinner. I have asked him to offer me healthy food if I ask or not offer me food at all but he automatically offers me food an hour or two after dinner. I always cave in even when I’m not thinking about food because the cravings get me after hearing him offer to make it for me.

He also offers me the bigger portion or the plate with more toppings/sauces when he splits our dinner into two portions. I have asked him not to make my plate bigger but after one or two days of trying he goes back to giving me the bigger portion.

He adds more oil/butter and ingredients to recipes even when I ask him not to deviate so I can better track my calories.

I recommend going on walks after dinner but he sometimes complains that a workout does not have to be a social activity and something I should be able to do on my own. Sometimes he joins me for a walk but after a few days he complains and my motivation evaporates.

He insists he cares for me and that’s why he wants to cook for me. I found it so romantic for a long time but I can’t seem to lose any weight despite cutting out take out and dining out. I’m afraid of hurting his feelings by telling him to stop cooking for me completely or putting a stop to doing thoughtful things for me. I’ve been in relationships where my partner never offered to cooked for me and this feels like a nice change and yet I’m confused.

What am I missing here? How do I improve this pattern of feeling loved by my partner’s offer to cook for me but also struggling to meet my health goals?

I’m going on a once in a life trip next year and want to be happy with my body and tone up a bit. I bought a package of 30 sessions with a personal trainer to learn how to lift weights, build a routine and learn proper form.

I signed up for a package after 4 sessions with the trainer which were all great. He was engaging, motivating and overall seemed very knowledgeable about fitness.

I’m now on session 10 and something feels different. He seems a bit distracted during the sessions. There’s a female trainer that’s in great shape and conventionally attractive and he continues to steal glances and watching her work with her clients during my session. He doesn’t notice if I finish a set or where I felt off since every so often he walks by her to chime in her conversations with her client or ask her a question. At first I didn’t really care if he was walking away or looking else where until it started impacting my motivation. He does this 3 to 4 times for a minute or 2 so not that much but still impacts my flow.

He is on his phone often and sometimes gives me the same workout again and again where he doesn’t have to really pay attention or actively count my reps. He will glance up from his phone once in a while and say you can do it but I feel it’s lacking all energy.

He has taught me a lot and he does push me when he is present and the other trainer is not there. He still seems like a good trainer outside of these two issues.

During the initial sessions he told me about his wife and his dedication to his family. Now I can’t unsee how he acts like a puppy in love when he interacts with the other female trainer and it’s making me feel less trusting of his professionalism.

I also don’t feel motivated to push myself when he barely uplifts me since he is so distracted. I have canceled the next session and he is upset that I’m not dedicated to my goals. Am I the asshole for wanting to back out of the sessions when I feel my trainer is no longer present during my sessions?