True mixed episode or just tough week?
I feel like as I type this out I'll probably answer my own question. But here goes anyway. Apologies for length.
So, I have had a shit span of 5-6 days. Finances. Both mine and my gf's jobs are in flux and constant misgendering at work (I'm ftm). I started noticing my sleep decreasing by at least 3hrs each night starting the night of the 15th or so, but not in a "oh I'm hyper as fuck and don't need sleep" way, just regular insomnia. I started withdrawing/zone out and kinda go mute periodically in the day, felt sad AF (SH,SI, hopelessness, etc.) and then there was rage and risky driving behavior. Anxiety THROUGH the roof, and I was hella on edge. I nearly cussed out my coworkers. Also had some paranoia and derealization at night, but I wasn't fully detached from reality.
I saw my therapist on the 15th and then again this past Tuesday after being in the shit for a few days. She encouraged me to not immediately attribute all of my experience to a mood episode (which is fair) and stated that it could just be a hard week and "normal" reactions (she still honors and acknowledges when I do have solid episodes).
Looking at it as a whole, I think all of the week's bs triggered a mixed episode. How do you all go about differentiating things? I can do it pretty well with smaller circumstances, but when it gets big, it's a lot harder. And having BPD in the mix doesn't help. I crashed hard with sleep on Tuesday night at my normal bedtime. Anyway, I guess it could seem more episode-ey. Idk. Ok, thanks for attending my Ted Talk. TTFN.