u/EmbarrassedState9010

I received a LinkedIn message from someone affiliated with GLG to do a call, but I'm feeling a little hesitant and confused about the whole thing. I have absolutely 0 knowledge or experience with this. What exactly happens after the call? Would I be subject to more calls down the line, or is just a one time thing? And how does the payment process work? I know these are things I could directly ask the associate that messaged me, but I wanted to get insight from other people's experiences. Thanks!

Has anyone else experienced these? Did it signal an attack for you? What was the scent?

As I sat down for dinner a little while ago, I suddenly started smelling something fruity. I thought it was my girlfriend's hair product or maybe a random candle somewhere in the room, but I COULD NOT find the source. And I smell it everywhere I go in the house, not just in one area. I blew my nose thinking maybe the scent somehow got stuck in my nostrils, but that didn't do anything.

I'm already in the midst of an attack (more balance/cog/exhaustion issues than head pain) so I don't know that it would be a signal for me that one is starting. Excessive yawning is my tell. I'm getting reacquainted with a neurologist in October, so I'll just add it to my list of things to discuss I suppose.

**Mentions of chest and general body dysphoria related to weight & body shape.

So as the title states, I am looking for some guidance with shopping for shirts like button ups, polos, cardigans (business casual office attire) and tank tops that will be a better fit for my body shape and help with masking my chest since I'm pre top-surgery.

I am not a large guy, but I'm not small (5'4-5'5 and fluctuate between 170-180, I think). I'd say my body shape is like a stocky dad bod. Broad and strong muscle base in the shoulder and collar bone area, then kinda more flabby & wide in the stomach/waist and a short torso. Hips/thighs are more narrowed and muscular.

I've been on T for about 1.5yrs now and have been trying to stay as stealth as possible at work, but I think the fact that my chest is a bit obvious is getting me misgendered frequently despite my deeper voice, mustache, and baby beard coming in. I can get by a little with a couple of my button ups because they're flowy when opened, and dark colored. I have two polos that I LOVE, but they make my chest stick out like a sore thumb because they're a bit more form fitting, so I don't wear those much anymore. The few tank tops I have are just lost causes at this point.

It's really making my confidence dwindle, and I just feel thick and round in anything I wear. I know losing weight in general will help with my body shape and shrink my chest size in the interim until I can get top surgery, but I've been struggling to get to the gym consistently as of late.

Long story long, do any of you have recommendations for places that have decent clothing styles for my body shape? Preferably not an online store, but somewhere I can go locally to try things on. Like a mall store or something. Thank you in advance!

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I'm in the US! Sorry!

TLDR: struggling with intense emotional regulation issues while managing both bipolar and borderline diagnoses, and ultimately feeling like a complete asshole for it all.

I may have asked this before, so apologies...but does anyone have both BP2 & BPD? How do ya'll cope day to day? I'm out of my deep depression, and I know I'm not hypomanic, but something just ain't sitting right.

I haven't had any SI, which is good. It went from near hospitalization to complete 0 as soon as the depression broke, but the impulsive property destruction, rage, and aggression towards myself and others has been excruciating this week. DBT skills out the fucking window. Like I wanted to rage completely at construction workers yesterday on my way to work for blocking the left turn lane. To my dismay, I actually could have turned, but I didn't see they made an opening until I was already passing it (which made it worse). Ended up having to go 1/2 mile down, make a u-turn and then come back the other way. Made it to work on time still, but man I wanted to fuck them up entirely and scream at them.

And then today when I was in the freeway entrance turn lane, I got so mad at a girl (maybe a teen? or early 20s? idk she was young) for waiting until the last moment to get in the lane. She cut in front of me to the point I had to stop, but then she hesitated so I made an aggressive "get over" hand/arm gesture to her. I could see her face in her sideview mirror and she looked so nervous and trembly as she gave a little wave to thank me for letting her over.

And I've been nearly losing any bit of composure I have in front of my boss over our day to day stressors, which is way out of the norm for me, historically. I just feel so terrible and embarrassed about all of this.

Anyway, I guess this is a vent sesh? Idk. Or maybe just a post to commiserate about how exhausting this is. I'm so tired of constantly doing mental gymnastics to maintain stability and not completely lose my shit moment to moment.

***note: I have not made any type of physical contact/direct engagement with anyone in these extreme manners, there's just a heavy urge to...but, you know...prison. It mostly gets taken out on my steering wheel. I'm primarily stable/neutral outside of these outbursts.

Anyway. Thanks for reading if you chose to.

This will probably overwhelm me immediately, but fuck it.

I've been in a depressive episode since May, and it's still going. I've been binge listening MIW's Disguise album start to finish for the last few days because it's been hitting the spot of where I am mentally and emotionally. SI is living rent free in my mind, I feel hostile, withdrawn, sad, anxious, and detached, yet I feel nothing at all.

I can't find pleasantry in anything aside from just listening to music. That's been the only thing to somewhat soothe my thoughts and give my brain something else to focus on to keep the SI at bay. So, I've decided to just build an entire playlist for these episodes in particular so I have something I can lose myself in when it hits.

That being said, I'm requesting your favorite emotionally charged/releasing/resonating songs you like to listen to when you're depressed. The more emotional screaming and nasty/heavy breakdowns, the better. Send me your best. Thx.

*Note - I am safe, and I see my therapist tomorrow.

I feel like as I type this out I'll probably answer my own question. But here goes anyway. Apologies for length.

So, I have had a shit span of 5-6 days. Finances. Both mine and my gf's jobs are in flux and constant misgendering at work (I'm ftm). I started noticing my sleep decreasing by at least 3hrs each night starting the night of the 15th or so, but not in a "oh I'm hyper as fuck and don't need sleep" way, just regular insomnia. I started withdrawing/zone out and kinda go mute periodically in the day, felt sad AF (SH,SI, hopelessness, etc.) and then there was rage and risky driving behavior. Anxiety THROUGH the roof, and I was hella on edge. I nearly cussed out my coworkers. Also had some paranoia and derealization at night, but I wasn't fully detached from reality.

I saw my therapist on the 15th and then again this past Tuesday after being in the shit for a few days. She encouraged me to not immediately attribute all of my experience to a mood episode (which is fair) and stated that it could just be a hard week and "normal" reactions (she still honors and acknowledges when I do have solid episodes).

Looking at it as a whole, I think all of the week's bs triggered a mixed episode. How do you all go about differentiating things? I can do it pretty well with smaller circumstances, but when it gets big, it's a lot harder. And having BPD in the mix doesn't help. I crashed hard with sleep on Tuesday night at my normal bedtime. Anyway, I guess it could seem more episode-ey. Idk. Ok, thanks for attending my Ted Talk. TTFN.

I experience vestibular migraines, and I'm already rated for tinnitus, so I'm hoping I can get it added as secondary. I have flare ups on average a couple times a month, but the severity varies each time. I'm getting re-acquainted with neurology and have an MRI scheduled next month to get updated evaluations and such. I also get a lot of sharp ear pain and/or fullness in one ear (typically), and it's usually related to the tinnitus/migraines occurrences and my chronic rhinitis. So, I'm also working on getting an ENT consult to cover my bases.

I know documentation of my experiences is key (I do have a log going) as well as maintaining consistent appointments, but is there anything specific that I should ask or say in these appointments with neurology and ENT that would help my chances of getting this claim granted? I struggle with articulating everything at times when I'm meeting with the providers, so I'm nervous I won't explain things well enough to make it a viable claim.

Does anyone have any tips?