u/Embarrassed_Band1234

First still not officially diagnoses, my psych and I are still working on it, she just says that I show many traits of BPD, I understand why she doesn’t wanna diagnose me right away though cs this is my first time ever asking for help. Anyways I had brought it up to my sister and she asked me to explain it, and she said that she was offended about what I said and that I should just learn how to be alone. But like I don’t know if I simply didn’t explain it properly but like I just felt worse after it. Mind you she’s what I thinks is my “fp”.

It’s just so difficult to explain it without like breaking down and I didn’t wanna breakdown. I don’t know, I guess I’m just wondering how you guys opened up to your families and friends about it.

I’ve been in a dark place for quite some time now, and I just recently started therapy to work towards getting better. I’ve also seen a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with PDD, GAD and possibly BPD(Bordeline Personality Disorder), and has put me on prozac after our first appointment. Also I was in therapy first before seeing a psychiatrist, my therapist actually recommended that I see one.

But anyways, I’m now just realizing that maybe my therapist is not a good fit? Maybe it’s just all in my head because I haven’t seen a therapist since high school but like, I feel like all the recommended steps my therapist is telling me to do as HW, are things that I have tried. And our talks is just her saying, “just try and think positively,” and “I think being independent/alone can be good for you.” I feel like my psych was a lot more understanding and empathetic than my therapist. I understand that it is her job to help me figure things out and to think better, but I feel like it’s all things that I have been aware about and have tried.

I have had moments where I end up saying “I have tried,” or “I do know that,” in terms of how I think but it’s like I feel like she’s not understanding that I genuinely have tried many times to change the way I think, and to be more optimistic.

Also another thing, I feel like I leave the appointment feeling worse. I feel like we just keep talking and talking that we tend to not notice the time, and I only ever notice it when I would be mid-crying and she’s talking about when our next appointment is. So I feel like I always leave the appointment with my emotions heightened. I don’t know, maybe therapy is supposed to be like this and I just have to adjust.

She’s also a sweet old lady, I just feel bad if I was to change therapist, she’s a sweetheart, but I feel like the problems and trauma I share, she deems not as severe and can easily be solved if I just think positively.

Recently diagnosed with BPD AND WELL. I’ve been doing my own little research on it to learn a little bit more about it.

Instead of learning how to cope better, all I learned was how much people hate pwBPD. Like they make it seem like pwBPD are insane and apathetic and everything we do, wr do, just because we wanna fuck around with other people’s emotions. When that isn’t the case.

It just makes me upset, like genuinely, if I had the choice and power to not be like this, then I genuinely would. It’s not easy, it’s not fun, and it’s not quirky. Sure there’s a lot of sarcastic vids if pwbpd on tiktok, but it’s like, EVERY OTHER PERSON no matter their diagnosis will make a sarcastic video dramatizing or romanticizing their illness. But somehow when we do it, it’s fucked up and we’re insane. I just hate it.

I guess I just didn’t realize how much people actually hate pwBPD. But I guess how would I have known you know.

BEFORE ANYTHING, I am not asking to be diagnosed, I am asking if this is something I can bring up to my therapist to work on and bring up possible OCD, and how can I without sounding like a “know-it-all”.

HI EVERYONE, so as of mid April, I went into see a psychiatrist and therapist to figure out what’s wrong with my head. So far, I’ve been diagnosed with PDD, GAD AND BPD. And now that I’m a little bit more aware with my way of thinking, I’m not questioning if I have OCD.

I vaguely researched it but I have this embarrassing thing that I do. I stalk this girl obsessively, I’ve always known that the reason why I do it, and it is because I fear that if I didn’t check on her, something bad will happen to me and my relationship. I know I could simply be insanely insecure in my relationship. But it’s genuinely so bad. I’ve tried numerous ways to stop, deleting, deactivating, blocked, etc. but every time I do stop I end up going into panic mode about it. I start having anxiety attacks about it, and I cannot stay relaxed until I check it again. Mind you I’ve found ways to be in private accounts, find numbers, find their house, and found a way to contact her. And the thing is I don’t do it to try and wish bad or hurt them, I do it because I’m scared of what might happened if I don’t.

Anyways big question is, is this something I can bring up to my therapist or psychiatrist. And if so how? And if this even is a possibility of being an OCD type thing, because from my understanding OCD are like people who are organized and clean and like things a certain way etc. Any help would be appreciated it. P.S I do not mean to offend anyone I just want/need help

My old posts were deleted (cause I got in my head) but TLDR: First time actually asking for help mentally, I was undiagnosed with like everything, I just knew something was wrong, I suspected BPD but didn’t want to self-diagnose…

Anyways this is an update met up with my psychiatrist once, I didn’t bring up BPD or any possible diagnosis I might have, I kind of just opened up how and what I’m feeling, and it was actually her who proposed the idea that I might have BPD then session ended cause ran out of time.

Then our 2nd sessions was just us going moreover me having it, and how certain she is. Anyways Yeah just glad that I can now start taking steps towards overcoming or knowing how to deal with this ig.

One thing she told me though was to not let my identity “be BPD” like she said I need to understand that it’s simply a diagnosis I have and not who I am as a person, and that I shouldn’t look it up on tiktok because it has a certain stigma against people with BPD. Which I think is true, I’ve been on that side of tiktok before and in a way it seems to be glorified and be deemed really bad. Honestly thankful she was sweet and nice, I was so scared of her being insensitive since she isn’t a therapist, but she seems sweeter than my therapist. I’m also now scared to let my therapist know about this, I hope she doesn’t like view a different person. Also now medicated, just scared of being numb.