u/EmergencyAd3494

I’m dating a German guy and I’m a bit confused about something in our relationship.
We met in December, had our first date in January, and became official in April. We’re currently long-distance.
Things are generally good. He’s affectionate, tells me he loves me, communicates regularly, and has introduced me to his family. When we’re together, I feel good about us, so I’m not really questioning his feelings. What bothers me is that I feel like I’m usually the one bringing up when we’ll see each other next or suggesting things we could do together.
His birthday is coming up, and I suggested meeting around that time. He was open to the idea, but I wonder if he would have brought it up himself if I hadn’t. I also asked what he wanted for his birthday, and he didn’t suggest meeting or doing something together.
It’s not about grand gestures. I’d just like him to sometimes take the initiative, suggest a trip, or tell me when he wants to see me next. I want to feel like he thinks about these things himself, not just agrees when I bring them up.
I’ve told him before that I want to feel more included in his plans and that making plans together is important to me. He says he wants to travel and spend time with me, so I know the interest is there to some extent, but I still feel like I’m the one initiating most of these conversations.
Another thing that confused me was that he didn’t invite me to a friend’s wedding because he thought we hadn’t been together long enough and that it would be moving too fast. Yet he had already introduced me to his family, which I personally see as a pretty significant step.
I know people have different personalities and ways of showing love, and I’m not expecting him to plan our entire future. I just want to feel like I’m naturally included in his plans and that the initiative goes both ways.
Has anyone experienced something similar, especially in a long-distance relationship? Do you think this is just a difference in personality, or could it mean that we’re not quite on the same page when it comes to relationships?

Hi everyone! I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives on my relationship.
I’m dating a German guy. We met in December, went on our first date in January, and officially became a couple in April. We’re currently in a long-distance relationship.
Overall, things are good between us. He’s affectionate, tells me he loves me, communicates well through texts and phone calls, and I feel good about our relationship when we’re together in person. He’s also introduced me to his family, so I don’t feel like he’s hiding me or that he doesn’t take our relationship seriously.
However, I’ve noticed that I’m usually the one bringing up when we’ll see each other next or suggesting things we could do together.
For example, his birthday is coming up, and I brought up the idea of meeting around that time. He seemed open to it, but I sometimes wonder whether he would have suggested it himself if I hadn’t brought it up. I also asked him what he would like for his birthday, he said nothing, and he didn’t really use that opportunity to suggest spending time together or making plans.
It’s not about needing grand gestures or expecting him to organise everything. I’d just love for him to sometimes say that he wants to see me on a certain date, suggest a trip together, or start a conversation about when we could meet again. Those little things would make me feel that he’s actively thinking about our time together, too.
I’ve also told him that I want to feel more included in his plans and that making plans together helps me feel secure in a relationship. He seems to understand, and he does express that he wants to travel and spend time with me. Still, I feel like I’m the one who usually initiates these conversations.
Another thing that confused me was that he didn’t invite me to a friend’s wedding because he felt we hadn’t been together long enough and that things were moving too quickly. At the same time, he’d already introduced me to his family, which felt like a significant step to me.
I don’t necessarily doubt his feelings for me. When we’re together, things feel good, and he’s loving and affectionate. I just sometimes struggle to understand why he doesn’t seem to take more initiative when it comes to planning our time together or talking about the future, even in small ways.
I’m not expecting him to have our entire future figured out. I simply want to feel that I’m a natural part of his plans, rather than always being the one who brings up the next meeting or suggests what we could do together.
For those of you in long-distance relationships, especially those who have experienced something similar, how do you interpret this? Is it simply a difference in personality and how people express love, or could it mean that we’re approaching the relationship with different levels of investment?
I’d especially appreciate hearing from people who have been in a similar situation. Thanks!

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I have been with my boyfriend since February. He is Jewish, we’re long distance, and things have been really good. I already met his family and they were warm and welcoming.
My side is a different story. My parents, my aunt and her husband are all pretty openly antisemitic. They don’t ask about him or show any interest, but they keep throwing out random comments about “his people,” religion, etc. It hurts every time.
He’s planning to visit in the autumn and I want to introduce him. I really want them to see him the way I see him, just as a person. But I’m honestly scared of their reaction.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
How did you handle it?
Did things get better over time (especially if you moved in together, got engaged, etc.)?
Did your family’s attitude eventually change?
Has anyone here converted (or your partner converted) – how did the family react to that?
I know the most important thing is that we’re happy together, but part of me still really wants my family to accept him. Any advice or experiences would mean a lot.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

I have a question. If you’re already in a relationship, would you enjoy receiving a message like this, or would you prefer it to be worded differently?
“I slept well, but I wish I was falling asleep in your arms.”