u/EmilyB0129

I (17 F) and my step-cousin (17 F) go to different high schools and both had our junior proms coming up. For privacy sake let’s call my step-cousin Kayla. When we both got the dates for our proms, Kayla then invited me to go to her prom with her (we had been inseparable since we were 5 and she also doesn’t have many friends at her own school), so i said something along the lines of “if im free/allowed to go, of course id love to!”. Knowing the steps that go into getting approval to bring a guest to prom as well as get my parents approval, we started making a sorta game plan JUST IN CASE I WAS ALLOWED TO. The plan was made very clearly to present to my parents to get approval, not a guarantee I was able to attend which was made very clear. Fast forward maybe a week or two later I was home with my mom, me and Kayla had been texting about prom earlier that day so I wanted to try and ask my mom for a yes or no about my attendance to prom. I later realized the time in place I had chosen to ask that question was a poor time, she immediately said no that i was not able to go. That I admit was a fault of mine in this whole situation. So, my next thought was to of course text Kayla and say I could not go. I told Kayla I was sorry that I couldn’t go because my mom said no. She was extremely short with me and then stopped responding to my texts all together. I understood she was just upset and was maybe just not wanting to talk to me due to frustration but figured the whole thing would blow over because it was my moms decision and not mine, I didn’t think she was upset with me but rather with the situation. So fast forward another couple weeks or so, our family went out to a dinner (about 8ish people- me, my step dad, my mom, my little sister, Kayla, Kayla’s mom and dad, my step grandparents), me and Kayla hadn’t spoken since she ignored my last messages to her. I was going to let the situation go and thought maybe she was just having a rough time but when she walked into the restaurant she said hi to my step grandparents (her bio grandparents) and my 5 year old little sister who ran up to her the second she walked in… I waved to her with a smile, ignored. I said “Hi”, ignored again. And not only did she ignore me, she ignored my mom and step dad as well. Not a word spoken to the 3 of us. So i was gonna be done talking and i did not want to cause any sort of scene in a public setting. Well my step dad saw her ignoring all of us and called her over from across the table and basically told her to “stop dragging this on” and “stop being a baby” she immediately said “Well it’s not my fault Emily ditched me”… my mom immediately jumped in and said “ Emily did not ditch you, it was my decision and I said no.”. So that dinner was awkward. The thing is I would most definitely go to her prom if I was allowed to, my mom’s decision was no and I can’t change that. All of this was almost 4 months ago. Easily this has been the longest argument we have had with each other. Now recently it’s been ok I guess, we have casually chatted a bit at our family cottage. But a couple weeks ago we were talking and it was going well and she said “well I’m not saying it’s your fault but….” And that made me upset, I didn’t say anything but this genuinely hurts. If I could’ve went to her prom I would’ve, period. But since that argument we barely talk and she still seems upset although I have told her I would’ve loved to go and that it was my mom’s decision. Since this argument she has made tons of comments to me and just overall continues to treat me as she did at the restaurant. I understand she is upset and so am I but I can’t help but feel I shouldn’t be treated like I’m a crappy cousin for this although I should’ve found a more convenient time to ask my mom.
AITA and what should I do?

I (17 F) and my step-cousin (17 F) go to different high schools and both had our junior proms coming up. For privacy sake let’s call my step-cousin Kayla. When we both got the dates for our proms, Kayla then invited me to go to her prom with her (we had been inseparable since we were 5 and she also doesn’t have many friends at her own school), so i said something along the lines of “if im free/allowed to go, of course id love to!”. Knowing the steps that go into getting approval to bring a guest to prom as well as get my parents approval, we started making a sorta game plan JUST IN CASE I WAS ALLOWED TO. The plan was made very clearly to present to my parents to get approval, not a guarantee I was able to attend which was made very clear. Fast forward maybe a week or two later I was home with my mom, me and Kayla had been texting about prom earlier that day so I wanted to try and ask my mom for a yes or no about my attendance to prom. I later realized the time in place I had chosen to ask that question was a poor time, she immediately said no that i was not able to go. That I admit was a fault of mine in this whole situation. So, my next thought was to of course text Kayla and say I could not go. I told Kayla I was sorry that I couldn’t go because my mom said no. She was extremely short with me and then stopped responding to my texts all together. I understood she was just upset and was maybe just not wanting to talk to me due to frustration but figured the whole thing would blow over because it was my moms decision and not mine, I didn’t think she was upset with me but rather with the situation. So fast forward another couple weeks or so, our family went out to a dinner (about 8ish people- me, my step dad, my mom, my little sister, Kayla, Kayla’s mom and dad, my step grandparents), me and Kayla hadn’t spoken since she ignored my last messages to her. I was going to let the situation go and thought maybe she was just having a rough time but when she walked into the restaurant she said hi to my step grandparents (her bio grandparents) and my 5 year old little sister who ran up to her the second she walked in… I waved to her with a smile, ignored. I said “Hi”, ignored again. And not only did she ignore me, she ignored my mom and step dad as well. Not a word spoken to the 3 of us. So i was gonna be done talking and i did not want to cause any sort of scene in a public setting. Well my step dad saw her ignoring all of us and called her over from across the table and basically told her to “stop dragging this on” and “stop being a baby” she immediately said “Well it’s not my fault Emily ditched me”… my mom immediately jumped in and said “ Emily did not ditch you, it was my decision and I said no.”. So that dinner was awkward. The thing is I would most definitely go to her prom if I was allowed to, my mom’s decision was no and I can’t change that. All of this was almost 4 months ago. Easily this has been the longest argument we have had with each other. Now recently it’s been ok I guess, we have casually chatted a bit at our family cottage. But a couple weeks ago we were talking and it was going well and she said “well I’m not saying it’s your fault but….” And that made me upset, I didn’t say anything but this genuinely hurts. If I could’ve went to her prom I would’ve, period. But since that argument we barely talk and she still seems upset although I have told her I would’ve loved to go and that it was my mom’s decision. Since this argument she has made tons of comments to me and just overall continues to treat me as she did at the restaurant. I understand she is upset and so am I but I can’t help but feel I shouldn’t be treated like I’m a crappy cousin for this although I should’ve found a more convenient time to ask my mom.
AITA and what should I do?
Edit: The reason my mom said no- She and my step dad were going to a concert and didn’t think they’d get back in time and I would not have a ride, so when I had asked her for a yes or no she told me it was an inconvenient time to ask and said no for those 2 reasons. Should’ve added that to the original post my bad.

I (17 Female) received a text from my grandma on my biological father’s birthday, the text read… “In case you forgot. Today is your dad's birthday. A nice greeting would be nice.” For context, I no longer speak to my father as of about 3 ish years ago due to a lot of trauma. He was mentally abusive and was more of a “best friend” type of person and had never acted as an actual father figure. Both my and my mother went through a lot with my father. It became too much and it was ultimately better for my mental and physical health to cut off my father and no longer speak to him. Since then my grandma has continued to try to get me to talk to him knowing all the things he has done to me and my mother, I try to take into consideration that this is her son we are talking about and as his mother she is going to want to take his side. But, I have repeatedly asked her to not pressure me and/or talk to me about my father and to just be my grandma and keep those things out of our relationship because I wanted her in my life without her trying to guilt me into talking to someone who has repeatedly treated me and my mother badly and consistently lied to us. This all was before the birthday text… so I wake up to this text which is extremely upsetting… I do not need a reminder that it’s my fathers birthday, it’s been on my mind for about a week cause I knew the day was coming up. I was already upset about it and she knows how hard this situation has been. He has also done the same stuff to my grandma so she knows how he is and has witnessed first hand the stuff he does. It’s mentally draining to have to not only cut off my father but for now to feel as though I need to cut off my grandma. I responded with the following…. In case you forgot, I am not speaking to him currently which I have told you and tried explaining to you many times. I will not be making an exception for today. I am also almost 18 and do not need a reminder that it is his birthday especially after I have repeatedly told you I’m not interested in talking about him with you and also not interested in speaking with him for reasons you are well aware of at this point. I wish you respected me enough to be able to talk to me without bringing him up after I’ve told you so many times I do not want to talk about it but unfortunately you do not respect me enough to do that. I’ve tried being very nice about this situation with you but you just can’t let it go and you have zero respect for me or the situation. I’m no longer interested in talking to you so please do not text me again. I’ve given many chances for you to just be my grandma and treat me with a little respect but you continue to do the opposite. Goodbye.”
AITA?