u/Equivalent_Wing_9028

First I tried this classic 'mudpie' tek but I got a low yield (>2g DMT) and also diluted too much propylene glycol with the DMT spice so I didn't feel anything and i didn't do a water wash so I burned my trachea with lye residues, so I wanted to try the tek that the pros on this sub recommend : the CAD tek.

Wonderful world of DMT (mudpie - idk it's real name) tek:
100g NaOH lye
800mL distilled water
75g mhrb
no Nacl Salt

With this one I had no such problem and beautiful yellow top heptane layer formed.

CADjunglist tek I did for a 1L flash (i don't have a 2L flask)

800mL distilled water
17.5g NaOH lye
25g NacL salt
100g mhrb

I got a big emulsion after the first swirl after I added the heptane. I suspect that the emulsion signals that there was a massive binding of the heptane with the base, but I just can't figure out what chemistry might have caused it?

I even separated the heptane-soup mix into two containers : a sludge and a brown liquid with the fluidity of water/motor oil.
No heptane top layer formed on the water-like brown liquid
I diluted the sludge soup in distilled water + NaOH lye again to reach a brown liquid with the fluidity of water/motor oil. No heptane top layer also formed.

Yet my mhrb was powdered correctly, a fine power with only tiny fiber like roots. Maybe I put too much mhrb for my flask and maybe that changed the chemistry of the NPS.

Nothing. No visuals. Made it myself but yeah I saw nothing. Not sure at which point in the process I fucked up, I had the big yellow heptane+DMT layr, the bright yellow DMT juice.

My thinking is I might I have burnt the DMT when then DMT crystals weren't melting in propylene glycol. But all I did was putting in a small glass container inside a ceramic cup I had placed in the microwave (no, at no point did i microwaved the DMT).

But the complete absence of visuals really is weird.
I also did not feel "good" (idk how DMT is supposed to feel), I felt nothing.

It has much effect as smoking vapeshop-bought nicotine vapes on me, which also have no effect no me.

Everything seem to be in the UK or require crypto to be bought. I have no idea where ppl even find DMT vapes

I'm literally willing to buy double the price... I'm in belgium btw

From what I've read, trans girls lose tend to lose most penal function, but some of them can remain tops. I would like to simulate this effect by only partially transitioning by taking lower doses of estrogen.

My body dysphoria is that I identify with long hair, low body hair, feminine curves (i don't even mind breasts) but I would also like to keep a functional penis.

The dysphoria is so strong that I'm willing to spend my life researching and develop biological modeling so that this transgender endocrine phenotype could be reliably prescribed.

At the minimum, no matter what i do in life, my goal is death. I am waiting for death. I can accept that this is the trajectory that god chose for me in this incarnation, but I cannot reasonably identify with it, so my goal is death.

I won't kill myself, because that would refusing the incarnation, which goes against the will of the Universe.

Yet finally i'm at peace, rather than thinking I have to reverse from a very ugly guy to a pretty boy, I can just accept death and play the rest of life in a semi-detached deeply spiritual peace.