u/Equivalent_Zebra_483

hi im 19 and so are my friend and his bf (well actually hes 20 but same thing), i am actually a kratom user myself but as i dont use more than twice a week and only take like 3-4 grams i dont consider it an issue at the moment.

however, one of my friends boyfriends is a heavy 7-oh and kratom user probably almost exclusively 7oh at this point since i doubt he feels anything from regular kratom anymore.

hes told me about how when he goes to visit his bf he never wants to have sex or do anything romantic and i've told him about how since kratom and especially 7-oh are opioids it just completely destroys your libido. he still feels insecure in his relationship due to this tho and i worry both about his mental health and his bfs physical health. he has some issues of his own but does not use kratom, or at least not often (has tried once or twice for obvious reasons). he and his bf are long distance and hes told me about how as hes been taking more and more 7-oh hes gotten less and less active in the relationship

obviously its not my place to meddle in someone elses relationship but its just sad to see, it really does fuck things up in so many ways. i havent met his bf but i cant help myself from worrying about people i have little ties to, its just my nature unfortunately. and seeing as hes never the one traveling to see my friend, always the other way around, im guessing hes spending a lottt of his money on 7oh these days, both of them are pretty well off financially (cant say im not a little jealous lol) but its easy to fuck that up if ur spending all your money on something like 7oh.

theres not really much point to this post, just wanted to blab about something semi related to this sub. no i am not meddling in this in any way other than offering some support to my friend when possible, he does not use reddit, idk if his bf does but since he doesnt know me i doubt it would come up, if it does, womp womp maybe it might do him some good to read this who knows. ill probably delete this post later tho due to my own paranoia lol

i always thought these were just something everyone experienced but upon complaining about them online and getting numerous responses saying that this isnt actually very common and i just have bad nail health i now wonder if this is yet another eds thing. seeing as nails are connective tissue adjacent i guess.

like the little edge bit of your finger or toenail breaks off just the slightest, leaving a jagged edge that becomes infected and painful if you dont slice off the problematic edge. or your toenail just deciding out of nowhere that it would be a great idea to grow sideways. your fingernails being kinda flaky and being unable to grow them past a pretty short length. etc etc.

ive had to perform self nail surgery so many times over the years (yes i know how to properly disinfect things, yes i have tried going to an actual doctor, multiple times, it just comes back a year later no matter what they do and i dont have the money to keep doing that)

im 19f, turning 20 in october, finally got it under control last fall.

i say "insane" so the title isnt super long, but basically just really extreme OCD, anxiety, delusions, etc. not the "i need to flick this light switch x number of times" OCD more like "i am actually secretly evil and caused every problem in the world, i must apologize to every person i meet for violating them with my evil aura" OCD if that makes any sense LOL.

every couple days i go through my memories and find something bad that ive done and make some sort of confession post about it or tell someone or whatever, and i always exaggerate to make it sound worse than it is so more people get angry and tell me how horrible i am. if i delete the post i freak out because then 'obviousllyyy' that means im not being genuine and think that im not in the wrong. but when people inevitably do start commenting and telling me how horrible i am i back down and start explaining the real, far milder situation which also feels like a cop out. if i dont have access to the internet to do this i just do it irl which isnt much better and has caused me to lose friends because who would want to talk to someone who does this shit.

i do it most when im in a good place in my life and havent done anything bad in a while, i start feeling guilty about enjoying myself and my life and need to make it miserable again because i dont think i deserve any sort of happiness or a shame free existence.

edit: exaggerated in this post quite a bit, also no longer do this as of two weeks ago since i was not allowed to have a lock on my bedroom door until then. i also always sleep with the window open or ac blasting in the summer, even during the incense phase, id light one every couple days so the smell would linger but too much makes me cough as well.

self explanatory, she has asthma and its gotten wayyyyy better in the past couple years compared to how it was when she was younger, but she still cannot stand incense and strong perfumes. she is also very nosy and constantly worried about me, i love her very much but im 19 i cant have her digging through my personal belongings on a random tuesday trying to start fights. so id keep my room as heavily scented as i can stand to keep her away from it. i feel a little bad because she would often complains about being able to smell it from the side of the kitchen near my bedroom but its manageable. i don't have any super dark secrets or anything shes just very strict and very paranoid so something as minor as finding an energy drink can will set her off on a tangent about how im killing myself with aspartame or whatever and ruin our relationship for the next month. i just cant deal with it anymore.

you are probably thinking: just move out this is stupid but i cant right now nor do i really want to.
one: im in college and still do not have a job since i was unable to get one until very very recently due to not having my epilepsy and other health issues under control, and two: her and my asshole father got separated last summer and i see how lonely its made her and i don't want to just leave out of nowhere over something so petty. so this was awful solution.

my absolute favorite energy drinks are the monster rehab collection or the couple no fizz celsius ones, however the taste on the celsius ones often isn't too good but they help me when studying. i stick to sugar free/low sugar at all times which also limits my selection a bit regardless. carbonation often upsets my stomach, and if i buy a drink and plan to carry it in my bag for later its nice to know it wont explode on me when i open it after being jostled around all day.

i just wish this was more common with more flavors other than just tea variants, not complaining too much as i love milder more medicinal tastes but sometimes the super sugary fruity taste is also nice (i genuinely cant name any that are both flat and sugar free in this flavor profile). i know realistically this is unlikely, no reason for the brands to make flat versions of popular flavors just to cater to a tiny market when they already have options (including just leaving it open for hours until it becomes flat lol)

if anyone knows any other fizz free sugar free/low sugar drinks to try that are somewhat easily available in america that would be amazing

this is obviously about me so here's the backstory. had a lot of psychological issues throughout childhood and into adolescence, got particularly bad in the middle of my 18th year, drank daily for nearly a year and have since quit almost completely. i only got blackout drunk once on accident, 99% of the time id just carry a water bottle of vodka around and take a swig every couple hours to keep a bit tipsy all day in order to silence my thoughts.

i say quit "almost completely" because i have drank in small amounts maybe ten times since quitting the bulk of my alcohol consumption about 6 months ago. wanted to see if i could actually enjoy it as normal people do now that I'm not facing constant psychological torture at the hands of my own brain, found that i actually really hate the feeling of being drunk and have since decided to just swear off it completely as it has no benefits to me anymore.

read about how binge drinking in early adulthood increases the risk of early onset dementia even despite remaining sober until middle aged. however the study was done on rats and they were given alcohol again around middle aged after being sober for much of their adulthood.

so if i were to stay 100% sober, stay decently healthy, avoid other toxins and drugs etc for the rest of my life, how fucked am i because of this one dark period of my life??

usually my dreams take place in various non-existent locations but they differ each dream or are all slight variations on the same couple real places (childhood school, current house, etc) but this one is not real and yet more consistent than the semi real locations.

long dream ramble: its a sort of garden, lots of grassy fields and a forest in the background, its always a bit cloudy out but still bright. there's a lot of stone,,things? cubes, pillars, random stuff. it appears in many forms in nearly all of my dreams the past month or so. usually its an in-between location i pass through while going to another destination, or i run away there to avoid something else. once i ended up there after winning a sledding race done in an underground parking garage

i love reading about peoples dreams so pls share if you have similar experiences!