u/Ergane_Violaceum

I had a wonderful time at my weavers guild luncheon. But, I'm feeling so guilty I couldn't sit through the last hour of it. I was able to sit through the first three hours, through dessert and the speaker, but now I feel so drained I feel some sort of burnout and headache coming on.

I wish I was a little more "normal". I have a hard time with loud environments and socializing for more than two to three hours a day drains me. It makes me feel bad that I can't socialize for long periods of time.

I guess I'd like to know if anyone else feels this way too? Does anyone have strategies to combat this?

I just wanted to share my big win with being diagnosed.

I've had PMDD for years without really realizing it. I've had an undiagnosed mood disorder for years and was incorrectly diagnosed as bipolar (I don't exhibit the mania at all in the I or II sense). I didn't start to suspect it until 2024 when I was hospitalized after a severe mental health episode where I started my period right after. It has affected my relationships so seriously in the past that I've lost friends. For a long time before the realization I was afraid of losing my spouse due to the episodes I would have immediately before my period.

After the suspicion hit I didn't immediately go seek a diagnosis, I thought therapy would work as my brief and surface level research at the time suggested no pharmaceutical intervention, and I didn't know birth control would work. But therapy failed to help in the ways I needed.

So I sought a diagnosis about 2025. I went to my PCP, I went to my prescribing mhnp and they were no help at all. I described my symptoms, they listened, but all they said was "there's nothing we can do except to suggest therapy." I don't believe they even put it in my chart that I came to them with the suspicion or even took the time to diagnose me formally.

So I went another year without a diagnosis with no mental health relief or significant change in my behaviors or symptoms with my partner. I got so desperate I sought out a third opinion from a psychiatrist about a month ago. I was afraid at first that she would give me the same run around and suggest therapy. But I explained everything and she said nearly word for word "you don't have an unspecified mood disorder, you meet all criteria for PMDD" and that was the first relief. But then I ask about what I can do. She suggested therapy, as expected. And after I explained that therapy has been of little help she suggested antidepressants and/or birth control. I was so desperate I took her recommendation to take Prozac. My family was concerned about the medicine because my family members have had bad reactions to it. But I was desperate.

I finally finished the two weeks of Prozac, started my period and noticed I haven't had any mental health symptoms. There was no significantly debilitating paranoia, inappropriate/unreasonable crying episodes or snapping or blowing up at others. The buzz in my head I have with these symptoms were completely absent. I feel for the first time I've found the relief I've desperately looked for and It's brought me to tears. I feel hopeful for the first time in years.

I don't want to generalize men, but I'm disappointed that my male providers were of no help at all and it took a third opinion from a woman to get me the help I needed. But now that I'm on birth control (katlib) after a cyst ruptured I feel like I have a solid plan for care and it's such a fucking relief. I wish I had been taken seriously. I wish I had brought up my suspicion when I was hospitalized, but I was in shock that it could be my period that I waited to watch for a pattern. But that's the past and now the future feels bright.

I just wanted to share my big win with being diagnosed. I tried to post in the main sub it keeps saying I didn't hit that I read the rules, but I did?.

I've had PMDD for years without really realizing it. I've had an undiagnosed mood disorder for years and was incorrectly diagnosed as bipolar (I don't exhibit the mania at all in the I or II sense). I didn't start to suspect it until 2024 when I was hospitalized after a severe mental health episode where I started my period right after. It has affected my relationships so seriously in the past that I've lost friends. For a long time before the realization I was afraid of losing my spouse due to the episodes I would have immediately before my period.

After the suspicion hit I didn't immediately go seek a diagnosis, I thought therapy would work as my brief and surface level research at the time suggested no pharmaceutical intervention, and I didn't know birth control would work. But therapy failed to help in the ways I needed.

So I sought a diagnosis about 2025. I went to my PCP, I went to my prescribing mhnp and they were no help at all. I described my symptoms, they listened, but all they said was "there's nothing we can do except to suggest therapy." I don't believe they even put it in my chart that I came to them with the suspicion or even took the time to diagnose me formally.

So I went another year without a diagnosis with no mental health relief or significant change in my behaviors or symptoms with my partner. I got so desperate I sought out a third opinion from a psychiatrist about a month ago. I was afraid at first that she would give me the same run around and suggest therapy. But I explained everything and she said nearly word for word "you don't have an unspecified mood disorder, you meet all criteria for PMDD" and that was the first relief. But then I ask about what I can do. She suggested therapy, as expected. And after I explained that therapy has been of little help she suggested antidepressants and/or birth control. I was so desperate I took her recommendation to take Prozac. My family was concerned about the medicine because my family members have had bad reactions to it. But I was desperate.

I finally finished the two weeks of Prozac, started my period and noticed I haven't had any mental health symptoms. There was no significantly debilitating paranoia, inappropriate/unreasonable crying episodes or snapping or blowing up at others. The buzz in my head I have with these symptoms were completely absent. I feel for the first time I've found the relief I've desperately looked for and It's brought me to tears. I feel hopeful for the first time in years.

I don't want to generalize men, but I'm disappointed that my male providers were of no help at all and it took a third opinion from a woman to get me the help I needed. But now that I'm on birth control (katlib) after a cyst ruptured I feel like I have a solid plan for care and it's such a fucking relief. I wish I had been taken seriously. I wish I had brought up my suspicion when I was hospitalized, but I was in shock that it could be my period that I waited to watch for a pattern. But that's the past and now the future feels bright.

To make a long story short, I had a production supervisor come at me all hot and yell at me that I don't have the right to send the production team out of the room when I'm the person who opens the fucking production room. I didn't release the room. I called twice to say I hadn't released the room. I told the production team to get out because I hadn't released it. Nobody answered me to contradict me. (Nobody ever answers me! I'm serious!)

My manager and supervisor are contracting themselves. My manager says she can send in a select few if we open late. My supervisor says I have to fully release the room before ANYONE goes in.

I felt the interaction was hostile, inappropriate, and unprofessional. But I'm not about to go to HR for this. I've had enough bad experiences with HR at other places to know the squeaky wheel gets fired faster. especially if you're the red shirt in the situation like I am. I'm just a quality tech who opens.

Its just a one time thing (if it happens again I'll probably just cry about it)

I just want a "I'm sorry if my tone wasn't appropriate" because it wasn't. I didn't leave my last industry to be yelled at by people in their right minds.

I'm just so mad, a "sorry" would smooth things over. At this point I'm calling any other supervisor but her. I don't feel comfortable around her after she yelled at me. When she was my direct coworker I got vibes like she looked down on me, so this just makes those feelings feel justified.

I'm incredibly tired of this company touting itself as the healthiest when they only give 49 hours. On top of this, if for every minute tardy they'll take an hour off your sick time.

I've been having health issues for the last 4-5 weeks. I haven't stopped bleeding, went to the er and found it's a cyst the size of a pecan in its shell. The bleeding got worse. I was able to book a gyno emergency visit for the next day at 10 and tried to work with my bosses on taking the two hours off (it's an hour round trip minus the hour I prefer to allocate for in case the appointment goes over.) I told them it's a cyst and that I've been bleeding for nearly 3 weeks straight. They could only give me an hour. So then I'd be fucked because they need to stay "in policy with the needs of the business". I'm fucking bleeding! I'm fucking depressed from it! It hasn't stopped! This is fucking bullshit! I'm fucking tired of hearing "the needs of the business"! What about your fucking workers!?

I'd quit on the spot if I had the opportunity at this point for the bullshit sick time policy alone.

So I was drug tested about 3 weeks ago. I panicked, not remembering when the last time I had smoked weed. So, in my panic, unable to control my words, I said I had used it recreationally. I have a panic disorder and it's incredibly hard to control myself when it hits. I love this job. I really do.

I passed the test, but because I said what I did, HR had to put it in my file that I said that. If I didn't have this disorder I wouldn't have said it. Honestly.

I want to move up in the company. But I have a strong feeling from past experiences with other companies (I got a write up once and was turned away for a lateral move) that I'm essentially locked into my job. I can't leave the company because they'd never rehire me due to this. I don't know if they'd even let me be promoted because of it.

I just need someone with more experience than I to just rip the bandage and tell me how fucked I am with my potential future at this company. I want to be a lead, just a little jump in position. I'm not going from tech to supervisor. I just want to go from tech to lead.

Its been eating at me that I had said what I did and now I'm questioning if it's worth being at this company if it's certain they will not promote me because I couldn't control myself or remember anything correctly. I doubt I'd just quit, I just need to let myself down now before it rears it's ugly head and it sends me into a depressive spiral.

I don't trust HR, they're not your friend. I know this. I know they'll cut down the complainers and anyone who questions the company about any and everything. It was a instance of my own trauma flaring and now I'm afraid my big ass mouth has fucked myself again.

For context, Being randomly drug tested triggers me. I failed a pre-employment test as a teen and through other, deeper lore not associated with the company, was effectively traumatized over something that's really not a big deal . So I associate random testing with the bullshit that happened after that one failed test.