u/Exact-Marzipan-6307

The Readings for August 18th, 2026, 12th Tuesday after Pentecost, Forefeast of the Transfiguration of our Lord, Dormition Fast were these:

2 Corinthians 5:15 - 21

Mark 1:16 - 22

Reflection on the Readings

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Glory to Thee, o God, Glory to Thee.

Beloved new creatures and fellow ambassadors for Christ, my siblings and friends; we see now a most excellent display of philotimo in these passages, today. A great and pure example of what it means to be called a Christian, a little Christ by His grace.

We see our Christ, God in the Flesh, Who said: “I judge no man. And if I do judge, My judgment is true: because I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent Me.”

And again, we see the purpose of His being sent, namely: “reconciling the world to Himself,” giving to us “the word of reconciliation.”

All the while, our Lord preaching and teaching, healing and showing forth mercy, He was “not imputing to them their sins.”

This is the All-good nature of the Good Physician! He knows that we are to blame for our sins, but He knows all too well that to condemn us does not provoke us to seek His mercies.

Rather, when we are condemned, our ego flares up, and we rebel. So for the sake of our health and communion with Him, in His great love, He instead teaches us to seek out reconciliation, never condemning us, but our sins.

And the consequence of our self-will, our departure from the source of life, our ingratitude, our disobedience, namely, death; He has taken it upon Himself! What we were unable to do, behold, He has done it!

In being Crucified, the Blameless One has made us able to become blameless. He that is the source of health has gone to the source and end of our sickness, that He may grant us true health in Him!

For these things how can we not be grateful? We ought to respond as the Apostles, leaving all to follow after Him. Of course, we should do this within reason, and hear our spiritual fathers on how to do this.

For example, a husband or a wife should not think it pleasing to God to abandon their family to supposedly serve Him. Even the beloved and Holy Apostle Peter was the husband of one wife, and we know that he pleased God.

But this willingness to love God and His creation, let us hold fast to it, thank God for such a gift, and pray that He matures us in it, guiding us on how to do so.

It may be that this example of the Apostles leaving all to serve Christ, though their former life seemed blameless within the text presented this day, shows us how we ought to leave the life of passions that rule us, and become children of God in Christ.

Truly, if these would have ignored the request and invitation of Christ, then they would have borne the blame. And it is true of us also, if we do not turn from our earthly ways to Him, then we will remain sick, and perish.

But the Lord takes no pleasure in our perishing, desiring us to turn to Him and live with Him forever! Not only so, but when we return, He makes us His ambassadors, to go out with peace, and to show forth His abundant mercy to all.

As our beloved St. Seraphim says: “Acquire a spirit of peace, and thousands around you will be saved.”

It is not that we go preaching, but that we focus on loving God and His creation, turning to Him always; being attentive and worshipful, being reverent and compassionate, merciful and humble, grateful and dutiful, joyful peacemakers; essentially, relying on God's grace, without Whom we can do nothing.

As our beloved Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica reminds us: “He who has the Kingdom of God within himself will imperceptibly pass it on to others. People will be attracted to the peace and warmth in us; they will want to hear us, and the atmosphere of heaven will pass on to them. It is not even necessary to speak to people about this. The atmosphere of heaven will radiate from us even when we keep silent, or talk about ordinary things. It will radiate from us even though we may not be aware of it.”

And this is the Holy Spirit working in us, and our cooperation; not that we may boast of ourselves, but glorify God together with one voice. It is His good pleasure to make us His co-laborers, fellow lovers of His creation working to reconcile all in Him and to Him.

May it be according to His will for us, through His own grace and compassion, through the prayers of His Body both in Heaven and on earth, especially of our glorious Lady Theotokos, and of all who love Him!

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages, Amen.

(8/19/26)

The Readings for August 18th, 2026, 12th Tuesday after Pentecost, Forefeast of the Transfiguration of our Lord, Dormition Fast were these:

2 Corinthians 5:15 - 21

Mark 1:16 - 22

Reflection on the Readings

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Glory to Thee, o God, Glory to Thee.

Beloved new creatures and fellow ambassadors for Christ, my siblings and friends; we see now a most excellent display of philotimo in these passages, today. A great and pure example of what it means to be called a Christian, a little Christ by His grace.

We see our Christ, God in the Flesh, Who said: “I judge no man. And if I do judge, My judgment is true: because I am not alone, but I and the Father that sent Me.”

And again, we see the purpose of His being sent, namely: “reconciling the world to Himself,” giving to us “the word of reconciliation.”

All the while, our Lord preaching and teaching, healing and showing forth mercy, He was “not imputing to them their sins.”

This is the All-good nature of the Good Physician! He knows that we are to blame for our sins, but He knows all too well that to condemn us does not provoke us to seek His mercies.

Rather, when we are condemned, our ego flares up, and we rebel. So for the sake of our health and communion with Him, in His great love, He instead teaches us to seek out reconciliation, never condemning us, but our sins.

And the consequence of our self-will, our departure from the source of life, our ingratitude, our disobedience, namely, death; He has taken it upon Himself! What we were unable to do, behold, He has done it!

In being Crucified, the Blameless One has made us able to become blameless. He that is the source of health has gone to the source and end of our sickness, that He may grant us true health in Him!

For these things how can we not be grateful? We ought to respond as the Apostles, leaving all to follow after Him. Of course, we should do this within reason, and hear our spiritual fathers on how to do this.

For example, a husband or a wife should not think it pleasing to God to abandon their family to supposedly serve Him. Even the beloved and Holy Apostle Peter was the husband of one wife, and we know that he pleased God.

But this willingness to love God and His creation, let us hold fast to it, thank God for such a gift, and pray that He matures us in it, guiding us on how to do so.

It may be that this example of the Apostles leaving all to serve Christ, though their former life seemed blameless within the text presented this day, shows us how we ought to leave the life of passions that rule us, and become children of God in Christ.

Truly, if these would have ignored the request and invitation of Christ, then they would have borne the blame. And it is true of us also, if we do not turn from our earthly ways to Him, then we will remain sick, and perish.

But the Lord takes no pleasure in our perishing, desiring us to turn to Him and live with Him forever! Not only so, but when we return, He makes us His ambassadors, to go out with peace, and to show forth His abundant mercy to all.

As our beloved St. Seraphim says: “Acquire a spirit of peace, and thousands around you will be saved.”

It is not that we go preaching, but that we focus on loving God and His creation, turning to Him always; being attentive and worshipful, being reverent and compassionate, merciful and humble, grateful and dutiful, joyful peacemakers; essentially, relying on God's grace, without Whom we can do nothing.

As our beloved Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica reminds us: “He who has the Kingdom of God within himself will imperceptibly pass it on to others. People will be attracted to the peace and warmth in us; they will want to hear us, and the atmosphere of heaven will pass on to them. It is not even necessary to speak to people about this. The atmosphere of heaven will radiate from us even when we keep silent, or talk about ordinary things. It will radiate from us even though we may not be aware of it.”

And this is the Holy Spirit working in us, and our cooperation; not that we may boast of ourselves, but glorify God together with one voice. It is His good pleasure to make us His co-laborers, fellow lovers of His creation working to reconcile all in Him and to Him.

May it be according to His will for us, through His own grace and compassion, through the prayers of His Body both in Heaven and on earth, especially of our glorious Lady Theotokos, and of all who love Him!

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages, Amen.

(8/19/26)

the Readings of August 17th, 2026, 12th Monday after Pentecost, Dormition Fast:

2 Corinthians 5:10 - 15

Mark 1:9 - 15

Reflection on the Readings

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Glory to Thee, o God, Glory to Thee.

Beloved, we again and again are reminded of the goodness and the severity of God.

Here we see the high calling in Christ shown in example both by Himself, Who victoriously dealt with our common enemy in the desert; and the beloved Apostle Paul who reminds us: we live not for ourselves, but for He Who died for us, and Arose for us.

We are bought with a price, he says, and this price is paid in His Most Pure Body and Blood, which is broken and shed for us, yet remains altogether whole, and makes us whole in Him, uniting us in one.

And this Most Holy Eucharist, the medicine of immortality, the life-giving and Saving Mysteries of Christ, we ask that He would make us worthy by faith, hope, and love, through His grace, to draw near and receive, that He may be our defense in the Dread Judgment, and welcome us Home forever.

But to partake of such a Blessing, the highest Blessing!, we must first be Baptized and Chrismated, being lowered into death as the old man, and Christ Himself rebirthing us as the new creature in Him.

And for this, it was deemed good and right by Him to be baptized of His Forerunner John, that He may give the power of Baptism to the waters.

John said truly that the Lord needed no baptism for Himself, being God; but to fulfill all righteousness, John suffered it to be so.

And coming up from the water, the heavens opened, the Spirit descending on our Lord Christ, and the voice was heard: “Thou art My beloved Son; in Thee I am well pleased.”

This also we must participate in, by grace, receiving the Holy Spirit after Baptism by the Chrismation of our bodies, sealing us with the Spirit by the Sign of the Cross.

Finally, when we have been Baptized into the death and the Resurrection of Christ our God, we draw near to receive the Most Pure Body and Most Precious Blood, being wholly united to Him, and a member of His Body.

Having been so united to Him, who amongst us then could not glory in Him?

Seeing His great, boundless, unfathomable compassion and love for His creation, who could not say with our Most Holy Theotokos, “my soul doth magnify the Lord,” or, with our beloved Apostle Thomas, “My Lord, and my God!”,

or with the Psalmist,

“He hath raised me up out of a pit of misery, and from miry clay, and hath set my feet upon a rock, and ordered my goings aright.

And He put a new song into my mouth, even a hymn to our God.

Many shall see it, and shall fear, and shall hope in the Lord.

Blessed is the man whose hope is the Name of the Lord, and who has not regarded vanities, and false frenzies.”

We are united in truth to Him that day, and He causes us to greatly rejoice in Him, turning our faces and hearts, our minds and bodies, our souls and our very being, into His Temple, oriented toward Him in love, adoration, hope, faith, joy, peace, trust, gratitude, wonder, contrition, and every good and perfect thing.

But we know that it is necessary also for us, if we are granted sincere and ardent love for Him, to go through the desert.

We see in the lives of our Saints how great their love for Christ was, and how the Spirit endowed them with the patience and hope to endure temptations, tribulations, torments, humiliations, sicknesses, and many persecutions from men and from the demons.

Seeing then our Lord, Who trampled on all the devil’s power and continually does so, Who went out to the place that the devil held dominion in to show forth His Divine mercy toward creation;

we know that we also will endure patiently in Christ all that He allows for our Salvation, thanking Him for the chance to grow, turn toward Him, and acquire love, humility, and be made like Him.

We who die in transgressions and in despair are given to come alive, to stop looking only to our own benefit and to the benefit of our fellow creatures, and for our Most merciful Creator and Lord in Trinity above all.

As our beloved Apostle John writes:

“And we have known, and have believed the charity, which God hath to us.

God is charity: and he that abideth in charity, abideth in God, and God in him.

In this is the charity of God perfected in us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgment: because as He is, we also are in the world.

Fear is not in charity: but perfect charity casteth out fear, because fear hath pain. And he that feareth, is not perfected in charity.

Let us therefore love God, because God hath first loved us.

If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother; he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he seeth, how can he love God, Whom he seeth not?

And this commandment we have from God, that he, whom loveth God, love also his brother.”

The same Spirit Who descended as a dove onto our Lord, also was sent as tongues of fire to rest on the heads of all who were in the upper room at Holy Pentecost.

The same Spirit Who drove our Christ into the wilderness to triumph over the little trickster, also inspired both Paul and John, and all the Apostles, and spoke in them the same things, bringing to nothing all the enemy’s plans.

With one heart, with one tongue they confess God in Trinity, Love Transcendent, Who presseth us to lay down our lives lived in self-will and self-love, and to follow Christ into the desert, that He may give us the True Bread of Heaven, and lead us into everlasting life.

May we, then, my beloved friends and siblings in Christ, entrust ourselves to His mercy, knowing that this life is given to us for repentance, and for the joy which is set before us in Christ, let us endure everything, laying aside every weight and forgiving all with tenderness and compassion, through His grace.

Glory to God in the highest! And on earth, peace! Goodwill towards men! Amen.

(8/18/26)

the Readings of August 17th, 2026, 12th Monday after Pentecost, Dormition Fast:

2 Corinthians 5:10 - 15

Mark 1:9 - 15

Reflection on the Readings

In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Glory to Thee, o God, Glory to Thee.

Beloved, we again and again are reminded of the goodness and the severity of God.

Here we see the high calling in Christ shown in example both by Himself, Who victoriously dealt with our common enemy in the desert; and the beloved Apostle Paul who reminds us: we live not for ourselves, but for He Who died for us, and Arose for us.

We are bought with a price, he says, and this price is paid in His Most Pure Body and Blood, which is broken and shed for us, yet remains altogether whole, and makes us whole in Him, uniting us in one.

And this Most Holy Eucharist, the medicine of immortality, the life-giving and Saving Mysteries of Christ, we ask that He would make us worthy by faith, hope, and love, through His grace, to draw near and receive, that He may be our defense in the Dread Judgment, and welcome us Home forever.

But to partake of such a Blessing, the highest Blessing!, we must first be Baptized and Chrismated, being lowered into death as the old man, and Christ Himself rebirthing us as the new creature in Him.

And for this, it was deemed good and right by Him to be baptized of His Forerunner John, that He may give the power of Baptism to the waters.

John said truly that the Lord needed no baptism for Himself, being God; but to fulfill all righteousness, John suffered it to be so.

And coming up from the water, the heavens opened, the Spirit descending on our Lord Christ, and the voice was heard: “Thou art My beloved Son; in Thee I am well pleased.”

This also we must participate in, by grace, receiving the Holy Spirit after Baptism by the Chrismation of our bodies, sealing us with the Spirit by the Sign of the Cross.

Finally, when we have been Baptized into the death and the Resurrection of Christ our God, we draw near to receive the Most Pure Body and Most Precious Blood, being wholly united to Him, and a member of His Body.

Having been so united to Him, who amongst us then could not glory in Him?

Seeing His great, boundless, unfathomable compassion and love for His creation, who could not say with our Most Holy Theotokos, “my soul doth magnify the Lord,” or, with our beloved Apostle Thomas, “My Lord, and my God!”,

or with the Psalmist,

“He hath raised me up out of a pit of misery, and from miry clay, and hath set my feet upon a rock, and ordered my goings aright.

And He put a new song into my mouth, even a hymn to our God.

Many shall see it, and shall fear, and shall hope in the Lord.

Blessed is the man whose hope is the Name of the Lord, and who has not regarded vanities, and false frenzies.”

We are united in truth to Him that day, and He causes us to greatly rejoice in Him, turning our faces and hearts, our minds and bodies, our souls and our very being, into His Temple, oriented toward Him in love, adoration, hope, faith, joy, peace, trust, gratitude, wonder, contrition, and every good and perfect thing.

But we know that it is necessary also for us, if we are granted sincere and ardent love for Him, to go through the desert.

We see in the lives of our Saints how great their love for Christ was, and how the Spirit endowed them with the patience and hope to endure temptations, tribulations, torments, humiliations, sicknesses, and many persecutions from men and from the demons.

Seeing then our Lord, Who trampled on all the devil’s power and continually does so, Who went out to the place that the devil held dominion in to show forth His Divine mercy toward creation;

we know that we also will endure patiently in Christ all that He allows for our Salvation, thanking Him for the chance to grow, turn toward Him, and acquire love, humility, and be made like Him.

We who die in transgressions and in despair are given to come alive, to stop looking only to our own benefit and to the benefit of our fellow creatures, and for our Most merciful Creator and Lord in Trinity above all.

As our beloved Apostle John writes:

“And we have known, and have believed the charity, which God hath to us.

God is charity: and he that abideth in charity, abideth in God, and God in him.

In this is the charity of God perfected in us, that we may have confidence in the day of judgment: because as He is, we also are in the world.

Fear is not in charity: but perfect charity casteth out fear, because fear hath pain. And he that feareth, is not perfected in charity.

Let us therefore love God, because God hath first loved us.

If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother; he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he seeth, how can he love God, Whom he seeth not?

And this commandment we have from God, that he, whom loveth God, love also his brother.”

The same Spirit Who descended as a dove onto our Lord, also was sent as tongues of fire to rest on the heads of all who were in the upper room at Holy Pentecost.

The same Spirit Who drove our Christ into the wilderness to triumph over the little trickster, also inspired both Paul and John, and all the Apostles, and spoke in them the same things, bringing to nothing all the enemy’s plans.

With one heart, with one tongue they confess God in Trinity, Love Transcendent, Who presseth us to lay down our lives lived in self-will and self-love, and to follow Christ into the desert, that He may give us the True Bread of Heaven, and lead us into everlasting life.

May we, then, my beloved friends and siblings in Christ, entrust ourselves to His mercy, knowing that this life is given to us for repentance, and for the joy which is set before us in Christ, let us endure everything, laying aside every weight and forgiving all with tenderness and compassion, through His grace.

Glory to God in the highest! And on earth, peace! Goodwill towards men! Amen.

(8/18/26)

the Readings of the Forefeast of the Procession of the Precious and Life-Giving Cross, and Eve of the Dormition Fast were these:

Proverbs 10:31 - 11:12

Wisdom of Solomon 4:7 - 15

John 10:9 - 16

Hebrews 7:26 - 8:2

Matthew 5:14 - 19

2 Corinthians 4:1 - 6

Matthew 24:13 - 28

​In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Glory to Thee, o God, Glory to Thee.

​Beloved, our Lord, the Good Shepherd Himself stands watch at the gate of His Body. When He leads us and we follow closely, we are never lead astray.

It is when we become enamoured with pleasures and the glamour which fades that we are lead astray, heeding the beckoning of the thief who comes to steal us away, to kill and destroy us whilst blinding us to the light of God.

In our foolishness we become a snare to others, even without realizing or intending it. One sheep leaves the fold, bleating pleasedly; another may also do so, the blind leading blindly toward a cliff.

Let us see carefully: the thief does not brandish his weapon openly, but hides it in his cloak, speaking softly and seductively to lure us out. Then we are caught away and scattered, disunited, discordant, despairing. But the Good Shepherd leaves the ninety-nine to look for His lost sheep.

He is not content to leave us orphans, but promises to restore us to health when we are again found in His fold.

​When we return, prodigal as we are, all of Heaven rejoices with Him! He again makes us a city on a mountain, the light of the world, shining mercy on all creation, so that His mercy and peace may reign in the earth as it does in heaven.

He tells us to do this not as a command for His honour, but more primarily for our benefit.

Any who live as He teaches will affirm the great joy and peace of His grace which comes through obedience, through the Mysteries, through humility, and through forgiveness of sins; both forgiving others, and the Lord forgiving us.

​As we have been forgiven, freely we also forgive and serve others in His grace. And if some are opposed to the mercy of God, we remember our own inner opposition, which was inspired by our common enemy, and we petition our common Savior and Lord, that He would shine in their hearts.

He once commanded light to shine in the darkness, and the darkness that was in us, that ignorance of God, could not overcome the knowledge of the Glory of God in the face of Christ Jesus.

​The Lord has become man for our sakes, taking flesh from the Most Pure Virgin, and assuming the whole of our nature, that His Divinity may transfigure our mortality, and fill us with His grace.

Having slain death itself in dying in the body, He Resurrected therein also, granting liberty to us all who made ourselves the captives and slaves of death; now willing servants and sons of Life.

Having Ascended in the body, He took what was earthly and created into the life of the Uncreated, not made with human hands, but the very finger of God, and His handiwork.

Now we who are members of Christ have put on Christ, and are seated with Him in heavenly places.

So then, being His sheep, by His grace we shall not heed any who claim to be Christ, knowing full well that His appearing will be seen of all as glorious and terrible, unmistakably Divine.

The heavens shall part, the earth will melt away; but His word shall never pass away.

​May it be according to the will of our Lord Who loves us with an everlasting love!

May it be His good will, and ours cooperating with His, to hear at the Judgment:

“Come, ye beloved of My Father, enter the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. When I was hungry you fed Me, thirsty you gave Me drink, a stranger you took Me in, naked you clothed Me, sick you visited Me, in prison you came to Me. Well done, thou good and faithful servant!”

​Through His own grace and compassion, through the prayers of His Body both in heaven and on earth, especially of our Most Pure and beloved Virgin Theotokos, may we come to love God and our fellow creatures, and attain to the unity of the faith, and the knowledge of His unapproachable Glory.

​Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and to all eternity, Amen.

​(8/16/26)

from Mauston, Wisconsin,

with faith, hope and love,

from your friend and lay-brother in Christ.

Glory to Him!

this is just something i wrote to myself that i want to share. thank you for being you, beloved, and Blessed Feast of Transfiguration to you and your beloveds. asking your prayers and praying for you.

here is the writing:

pride leads to disconnection just like its counterpart, despair. both exalt the self in one way or another, but both are utterly base and lower a person to destructive depths. the one who is prideful and who despairs, even without realizing it, kills everyone in their heart. the memory of others becomes tainted by the darkness they feed within themselves. they are exceedingly ungrateful, despising the goodness of the Lord Who allows us to wander freely and without chiding.

love creates, protects, grows, and keeps connection safe. visible disconnect between people does not truly disconnect the two who love each other. they live in each others hearts. their thoughts of each other are peaceful, filled with joy and the godly sorrow which leads to our Lord. they are filled with light within, and they are exceedingly grateful to the One Who grants such goodness of Himself to His creatures.

the Lord, out of His exceeding goodness and Divine eros, phileo, storge and agape, brought us into existence. desiring to bring Life into His creation, He Created us in His own Image, wanting to sprinkle the earth with salt and fill it with His unfading Light. He wants us to be merciful and compassionate as He is, to enjoy His Blessedness, to struggle against our own evil and be purified of our inclinations toward poison and sickness.

to this end, He establishes His own Body, having become Incarnate for our sakes through the will of the Everlasting Father and by the overshadowing of the All-Holy Spirit upon the Most Blessed Virgin; only after she consented, cooperating with her free will which He gave her, foreknowing her free decision to say,"behold, the handmaiden of the Lord. be it unto me according to Thy word."

and He endured in His earthly life all for our sakes. being Crucified, He Blessed and had mercy on those crucifying Him, reviling them not. having given up His spirit, He descended into hades as God, as He has always been, to relieve those held captive under the dominion of death, destroying and abolishing it's reign over the whole of creation which we had given it freely in our preference for things contrary to His goodness.

having Risen from death, He proclaimed good things to the Apostles who were hiding in fear of the jewish authorities. He strengthened them, consoled them, and reminded them of all He had taught them.

and He Ascended into Heaven to sit on the Throne in human flesh, taking all of creation into the very life of the Most Holy Trinity, Blessing and commissioning all the earth to go and proclaim His All-goodness, and to welcome all who are willing to the feast of God, and to the great mercy He has for us.

now it is up to us to come to Him, we who are weary and heavy laden with burdens of sins and troubles of this life; and He will give us rest for our souls in the hope of His mercy.

we will take His yoke upon us and learn of Him Who is gentle and humble of heart,

Who does not cast away any who come to Him,

Who calls all to Salvation through the hope of good things to come,

Who desires not the death of any creature whom He made, but rather that we turn to Him and live in Him,

Who does not despise the broken-hearted nor the contrite in spirit,

Who has mercy on the last even as the first,

Who sweeps the whole of creation and searches for us who are lost, calling the Saints, Angels, and all of us to cooperate in this search,

Who gently knocks continually on the doors of our hearts so that we may open to Him, and He may enter and enlighten our darkened thought, as He desires to,

Who eagerly runs to meet us prodigal children as we return to Him even while we are a far way off, not despising our filthiness or brokenness but immediately beginning to heal us,

Who sees us broken and beaten by the side of the road, bereft of His grace and dying, and joins us in His own Body, bringing us to the Church, instructing those already present to take care of us and promising to reward their efforts when He returns in Glory,

Who is the Good Physician of our souls, coming not to the healthy but the sick; calling not the righteous, but sinners to repentance,

Who came to Save us from ourselves, from those who hate us, and to grant us grace to love and have mercy on all just as He does.

may it be according to His will for us, through the prayers of the Most Pure Virgin, and of all who love Him and His creation both in Heaven and on earth.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the endless ages, Amen.

(August 7th, 2026)

this is just something i wrote to myself that i want to share. thank you for being you, beloved, and Blessed Feast of Transfiguration to you and your beloveds. asking your prayers and praying for you.

here is the writing:

pride leads to disconnection just like its counterpart, despair. both exalt the self in one way or another, but both are utterly base and lower a person to destructive depths. the one who is prideful and who despairs, even without realizing it, kills everyone in their heart. the memory of others becomes tainted by the darkness they feed within themselves. they are exceedingly ungrateful, despising the goodness of the Lord Who allows us to wander freely and without chiding.

love creates, protects, grows, and keeps connection safe. visible disconnect between people does not truly disconnect the two who love each other. they live in each others hearts. their thoughts of each other are peaceful, filled with joy and the godly sorrow which leads to our Lord. they are filled with light within, and they are exceedingly grateful to the One Who grants such goodness of Himself to His creatures.

the Lord, out of His exceeding goodness and Divine eros, phileo, storge and agape, brought us into existence. desiring to bring Life into His creation, He Created us in His own Image, wanting to sprinkle the earth with salt and fill it with His unfading Light. He wants us to be merciful and compassionate as He is, to enjoy His Blessedness, to struggle against our own evil and be purified of our inclinations toward poison and sickness.

to this end, He establishes His own Body, having become Incarnate for our sakes through the will of the Everlasting Father and by the overshadowing of the All-Holy Spirit upon the Most Blessed Virgin; only after she consented, cooperating with her free will which He gave her, foreknowing her free decision to say,"behold, the handmaiden of the Lord. be it unto me according to Thy word."

and He endured in His earthly life all for our sakes. being Crucified, He Blessed and had mercy on those crucifying Him, reviling them not. having given up His spirit, He descended into hades as God, as He has always been, to relieve those held captive under the dominion of death, destroying and abolishing it's reign over the whole of creation which we had given it freely in our preference for things contrary to His goodness.

having Risen from death, He proclaimed good things to the Apostles who were hiding in fear of the jewish authorities. He strengthened them, consoled them, and reminded them of all He had taught them.

and He Ascended into Heaven to sit on the Throne in human flesh, taking all of creation into the very life of the Most Holy Trinity, Blessing and commissioning all the earth to go and proclaim His All-goodness, and to welcome all who are willing to the feast of God, and to the great mercy He has for us.

now it is up to us to come to Him, we who are weary and heavy laden with burdens of sins and troubles of this life; and He will give us rest for our souls in the hope of His mercy.

we will take His yoke upon us and learn of Him Who is gentle and humble of heart,

Who does not cast away any who come to Him,

Who calls all to Salvation through the hope of good things to come,

Who desires not the death of any creature whom He made, but rather that we turn to Him and live in Him,

Who does not despise the broken-hearted nor the contrite in spirit,

Who has mercy on the last even as the first,

Who sweeps the whole of creation and searches for us who are lost, calling the Saints, Angels, and all of us to cooperate in this search,

Who gently knocks continually on the doors of our hearts so that we may open to Him, and He may enter and enlighten our darkened thought, as He desires to,

Who eagerly runs to meet us prodigal children as we return to Him even while we are a far way off, not despising our filthiness or brokenness but immediately beginning to heal us,

Who sees us broken and beaten by the side of the road, bereft of His grace and dying, and joins us in His own Body, bringing us to the Church, instructing those already present to take care of us and promising to reward their efforts when He returns in Glory,

Who is the Good Physician of our souls, coming not to the healthy but the sick; calling not the righteous, but sinners to repentance,

Who came to Save us from ourselves, from those who hate us, and to grant us grace to love and have mercy on all just as He does.

may it be according to His will for us, through the prayers of the Most Pure Virgin, and of all who love Him and His creation both in Heaven and on earth.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the endless ages, Amen.

(August 7th, 2026)

this is just something i wrote to myself that i want to share. thank you for being you, beloved, and Blessed Feast of Transfiguration to you and your beloveds. asking your prayers and praying for you.

here is the writing:

pride leads to disconnection just like its counterpart, despair. both exalt the self in one way or another, but both are utterly base and lower a person to destructive depths. the one who is prideful and who despairs, even without realizing it, kills everyone in their heart. the memory of others becomes tainted by the darkness they feed within themselves. they are exceedingly ungrateful, despising the goodness of the Lord Who allows us to wander freely and without chiding.

love creates, protects, grows, and keeps connection safe. visible disconnect between people does not truly disconnect the two who love each other. they live in each others hearts. their thoughts of each other are peaceful, filled with joy and the godly sorrow which leads to our Lord. they are filled with light within, and they are exceedingly grateful to the One Who grants such goodness of Himself to His creatures.

the Lord, out of His exceeding goodness and Divine eros, phileo, storge and agape, brought us into existence. desiring to bring Life into His creation, He Created us in His own Image, wanting to sprinkle the earth with salt and fill it with His unfading Light. He wants us to be merciful and compassionate as He is, to enjoy His Blessedness, to struggle against our own evil and be purified of our inclinations toward poison and sickness.

to this end, He establishes His own Body, having become Incarnate for our sakes through the will of the Everlasting Father and by the overshadowing of the All-Holy Spirit upon the Most Blessed Virgin; only after she consented, cooperating with her free will which He gave her, foreknowing her free decision to say,"behold, the handmaiden of the Lord. be it unto me according to Thy word."

and He endured in His earthly life all for our sakes. being Crucified, He Blessed and had mercy on those crucifying Him, reviling them not. having given up His spirit, He descended into hades as God, as He has always been, to relieve those held captive under the dominion of death, destroying and abolishing it's reign over the whole of creation which we had given it freely in our preference for things contrary to His goodness.

having Risen from death, He proclaimed good things to the Apostles who were hiding in fear of the jewish authorities. He strengthened them, consoled them, and reminded them of all He had taught them.

and He Ascended into Heaven to sit on the Throne in human flesh, taking all of creation into the very life of the Most Holy Trinity, Blessing and commissioning all the earth to go and proclaim His All-goodness, and to welcome all who are willing to the feast of God, and to the great mercy He has for us.

now it is up to us to come to Him, we who are weary and heavy laden with burdens of sins and troubles of this life; and He will give us rest for our souls in the hope of His mercy.

we will take His yoke upon us and learn of Him Who is gentle and humble of heart,

Who does not cast away any who come to Him,

Who calls all to Salvation through the hope of good things to come,

Who desires not the death of any creature whom He made, but rather that we turn to Him and live in Him,

Who does not despise the broken-hearted nor the contrite in spirit,

Who has mercy on the last even as the first,

Who sweeps the whole of creation and searches for us who are lost, calling the Saints, Angels, and all of us to cooperate in this search,

Who gently knocks continually on the doors of our hearts so that we may open to Him, and He may enter and enlighten our darkened thought, as He desires to,

Who eagerly runs to meet us prodigal children as we return to Him even while we are a far way off, not despising our filthiness or brokenness but immediately beginning to heal us,

Who sees us broken and beaten by the side of the road, bereft of His grace and dying, and joins us in His own Body, bringing us to the Church, instructing those already present to take care of us and promising to reward their efforts when He returns in Glory,

Who is the Good Physician of our souls, coming not to the healthy but the sick; calling not the righteous, but sinners to repentance,

Who came to Save us from ourselves, from those who hate us, and to grant us grace to love and have mercy on all just as He does.

may it be according to His will for us, through the prayers of the Most Pure Virgin, and of all who love Him and His creation both in Heaven and on earth.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the endless ages, Amen.

(August 7th, 2026)

this is just something i wrote to myself that i want to share. thank you for being you, beloved, and Blessed Feast of Transfiguration to you and your beloveds. asking your prayers and praying for you.

here is the writing:

pride leads to disconnection just like its counterpart, despair. both exalt the self in one way or another, but both are utterly base and lower a person to destructive depths. the one who is prideful and who despairs, even without realizing it, kills everyone in their heart. the memory of others becomes tainted by the darkness they feed within themselves. they are exceedingly ungrateful, despising the goodness of the Lord Who allows us to wander freely and without chiding.

love creates, protects, grows, and keeps connection safe. visible disconnect between people does not truly disconnect the two who love each other. they live in each others hearts. their thoughts of each other are peaceful, filled with joy and the godly sorrow which leads to our Lord. they are filled with light within, and they are exceedingly grateful to the One Who grants such goodness of Himself to His creatures.

the Lord, out of His exceeding goodness and Divine eros, phileo, storge and agape, brought us into existence. desiring to bring Life into His creation, He Created us in His own Image, wanting to sprinkle the earth with salt and fill it with His unfading Light. He wants us to be merciful and compassionate as He is, to enjoy His Blessedness, to struggle against our own evil and be purified of our inclinations toward poison and sickness.

to this end, He establishes His own Body, having become Incarnate for our sakes through the will of the Everlasting Father and by the overshadowing of the All-Holy Spirit upon the Most Blessed Virgin; only after she consented, cooperating with her free will which He gave her, foreknowing her free decision to say,"behold, the handmaiden of the Lord. be it unto me according to Thy word."

and He endured in His earthly life all for our sakes. being Crucified, He Blessed and had mercy on those crucifying Him, reviling them not. having given up His spirit, He descended into hades as God, as He has always been, to relieve those held captive under the dominion of death, destroying and abolishing it's reign over the whole of creation which we had given it freely in our preference for things contrary to His goodness.

having Risen from death, He proclaimed good things to the Apostles who were hiding in fear of the jewish authorities. He strengthened them, consoled them, and reminded them of all He had taught them.

and He Ascended into Heaven to sit on the Throne in human flesh, taking all of creation into the very life of the Most Holy Trinity, Blessing and commissioning all the earth to go and proclaim His All-goodness, and to welcome all who are willing to the feast of God, and to the great mercy He has for us.

now it is up to us to come to Him, we who are weary and heavy laden with burdens of sins and troubles of this life; and He will give us rest for our souls in the hope of His mercy.

we will take His yoke upon us and learn of Him Who is gentle and humble of heart,

Who does not cast away any who come to Him,

Who calls all to Salvation through the hope of good things to come,

Who desires not the death of any creature whom He made, but rather that we turn to Him and live in Him,

Who does not despise the broken-hearted nor the contrite in spirit,

Who has mercy on the last even as the first,

Who sweeps the whole of creation and searches for us who are lost, calling the Saints, Angels, and all of us to cooperate in this search,

Who gently knocks continually on the doors of our hearts so that we may open to Him, and He may enter and enlighten our darkened thought, as He desires to,

Who eagerly runs to meet us prodigal children as we return to Him even while we are a far way off, not despising our filthiness or brokenness but immediately beginning to heal us,

Who sees us broken and beaten by the side of the road, bereft of His grace and dying, and joins us in His own Body, bringing us to the Church, instructing those already present to take care of us and promising to reward their efforts when He returns in Glory,

Who is the Good Physician of our souls, coming not to the healthy but the sick; calling not the righteous, but sinners to repentance,

Who came to Save us from ourselves, from those who hate us, and to grant us grace to love and have mercy on all just as He does.

may it be according to His will for us, through the prayers of the Most Pure Virgin, and of all who love Him and His creation both in Heaven and on earth.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the endless ages, Amen.

(August 7th, 2026)

before i post the note and the "commentary", i want to apologize for the length of this post. come back to it whenever, no rush. above all, may the Lord's will be done in your life!

i will also comment, the 2024 note is extremely harsh and self-deprecating, which is why i wanted to comment on the errors in it. maybe you are going through something similar. you are not alone. much love to you!

here is the note and the "commentary":

just read this in my notes written directly to myself, while sitting in an armchair, so i will share it as a comment here:

+

thou foolish and pernicious creature! you think you are intelligent, at leisure in an armchair and reciting big words. true knowledge leads one to sacrifice their comforts and their will, for love of God and the benefit of their neighbour.

+

but you, Bailey, think you are better and more knowledgable than everyone, and have stopped learning. you have forsaken the love of others, and have only chosen to do your own will. this is what causes your predicament, not the others whom you listlessly condemn for the things that you do more often and with sickened gratifaction. if you are to be Saved, go to Church and Confess your sins. change your wicked ways, you despicable, wretched fool.¹

+

if you dont care to change, Bailey, you will continue doing whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it, without care for God or for your fellow man. in that way, you will die alone, and no one will remember you.²

+

if you will love Christ and follow Him, keeping His commandments, you will enter into Life as you have experienced before. you do not enter into Life now because you are estranged from His Body, you are lukewarm and have been vomited out of Christ's Most Holy mouth. you have Communed unworthily of the Most Holy Body and Blood, and for that you will suffer greatly in this life.³

+

but perservere to the end and endure the punishment that you have earned to yourself with your indifference and pride, so that you may be Saved.

+

if you do not struggle at all, you will be digging the pit of your own eternal suffering. if you do not struggle enough, you will fall into eternal nothingness.⁴ but if you give yourself over to the struggle of becoming truly human, you will find Heaven helping you, and you will be made a human being.⁵

(written on January 14th, 2024)

+++

"commentary" on this note to myself:

1:

to insult and hate ourselves does not usually help cultivate love and humility. it is a first step for many, myself included, but i was stuck on this step for a long time.

i do not discount the effectiveness of it to humiliate ourselves initially, but i do say that it has often driven me away from God more so than toward Him.

it is better, as our Lord teaches us through the Saints who love Him and speak His words, to see the goodness of the Lord, to be humbled and made glad by His mercy which He shows to us in our sins. it is the goodness of God which leads us to repentance, as our beloved Paul reminds us with the guidance of the Holy Spirit of God.

true humility is known better when we know the root of the word, which relates to fresh, fertile soil. as Saint Paisios says, and as i paraphrase:

a truly humble person receives both the good rain that brings life to the seeds planted therein, as well as the spit that is spat upon them in utter disrespect and malice. receiving both, the soil remains grateful to exist, Glorifying God with much faith, hope, and love toward Him.

when we are always focusing on how bad we are without the mercy of God in the other hand, then we are holding tightly onto our sins with both hands; the mud which the Lord wants to lift us up from.

He desires to raise us up from the pit and from miry clay, set our feet upon the Rock of Ages, Himself, and put a new song in our mouths, even a hymn to our God.

when we are always beating ourselves, tearing ourselves apart, then we are sometimes cooperating with the demons. not always, because we often do this without their malicious "help", but they do incite this kind of despair because it brings them much satisfaction.

the demons know that the Lord is truly merciful, that He will in no way cast out the one who comes to Him with a broken spirit; He will not despise the one whose heart is yearning for Him. nor will He even despise the one who is being attacked, but will take our side and defend us.

He will not impose on our free will, but His hand is always outstretched to us, ready to grab our wrist and pull us up into His embrace, if we will but reach for Him.

seeing us striving toward Him, the little tricksters remember what we have fallen into before and shoot temptations in hopes to make us fall into a trap. when we have fallen, they will then hypocritically berate us very much.

before we fell, they said,"you will surely not die." and afterwards, they rail insults and accusations at us, as well as try to make us not arise and go to our Father, saying,"how can the Lord forgive you?! you have fallen too far, there is no more hope!"

but we can know that we are being deceived by the fruit of the thoughts we accept and agree to. if a thought causes us to lose hope, then we can know it is either our own invention or a trick of the little tricksters.

if a thought brings sadness that leads us to God, to calling out to Him, then we can pray and thank God for such a thought, and this will eventually lead us to awe at His compassion.

a habit of self-hatred is not usually uprooted and dealt with overnight or in a moment altogether. however, it only takes one moment for us to look at Love, both in the people in our lives and in His own Body, both alive on the earth and in Heaven, to begin anew toward Him.

each day, let us make a new beginning, and each moment even! let us not be hindered by our failures, but use them like manure to fertilze the soil that we are, and grow fruits of compassion.

all of this being said, i say, Glory to God Who is so patient with us! He does not abandon the ones going astray, but as the Good Shepherd, He seeks us out eagerly so that He may return us to Himself. Glory to Him forever!

+++

2:

the kernel of truth in this section is overshadowed by the pitch darkness of self-hatred, and it is obscured by the falsehoods also present. this kind of perspective completely ignores the goodness of God and places the entire importance on ourselves, our efforts, and our failures.

for me to say such a thing, it is evident that i was ignoring the love of God and the love of others toward myself. not only so, but it is an insult to their love for me to say that no one would remember me if i continued in such a way. of course they would remember me, how could they forget if they love me?

as it is written, love covers many sins. love even overlooks them to see the truth of a person, that we are more than our failures, and are worth patiently enduring for and with. so much so that the Lord became a human being, uniting us to His own Body, so that we may enter and be healed in Him.

back to the point, though. it is inverted pride which is more difficult for many to uproot than the kind of pride which exalts itself in the more outward way.

the pride which exalts itself outwardly is easily understood to be detrimental. to look down on everyone is obviously destructive to ourselves and everyone around us. but in a hidden way, inverted pride, or extreme shame and self-degradation, is similarly destructive.

neither are beneficial, and neither will on their own guide us to our Lord. they are two sides of the same coin, and it is best to exchange it by surrendering it to Christ in prostrating ourselves before His unutterable compassion.

in surrendering this struggle and all our struggles to the Most Holy Trinity, He comes to us and enlightens our darkened thought, as He is Love, Divine and Transcendent.

His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. as high as Heaven is from earth, so much are His thoughts higher than ours. thoughts of us, of great Divine eros, of exceedingly fiery agape, of pure phileo, of the strongest storge.

in giving this "coin" to Him, such a heavy burden, He will in exchange put His yoke upon us, which is light.

and we will learn of Him Who is meek and lowly of heart,

Who desires not the death of anyone, but rather that we should turn to Him and live,

Who rejoices when we turn to Him and does not ever think to cast us away,

Who leaves the ninety-nine sheep in His flock to search for us,

Who runs eagerly to meet us prodigal children when we come to Him from afar,

Who calls His Angels to search with Him everywhere for us who bear His Image,

Whose great pleasure it is to give us the Kingdom,

Who Created us not for suffering but for communion and relationship with Him and with His creation,

Who makes us His own temple to shine His light into the world,

Who calls us to be the salt of the earth that He preserves it through,

Who calls us to be a city on a hill that echoes His love everywhere,

Who tells us to show mercy and give freely as we have freely been given to,

Who came to Save us who are lost and restore us who are broken,

Who prays that we might be united altogether in Him as He is to the Unoriginate Father and the All-Holy Spirit,

Who unites us truly to Himself in Holy Baptism, Chrismation and gives Himself to us in His own Most Pure Body and Blood of the Eucharist,

Who gives us the Blessed Sacrament of Confession as a "second Baptism," so that we may return to Him eagerly and be glad in Him,

and so very much more that can be said,

and much that is beyond words.

to Him be Glory, honour and worship forever!

+++

3:

it is true that one will suffer greatly when knowingly Communing without repentance, without faith in the Lord Who gives Himself to us fully. there are many stories of those who Communed and were greatly harmed, not because the Lord is spiteful or displeased, but because we approach Him and do not discern His True Body and Blood.

we approach the Cup without a desire to be changed inwardly, without sorrow for our sins, without love for Him and His creation, without forgiveness and love toward those who make themselves our enemies, without the will to die to ourselves and to our own will, without gratitude to God in Trinity.

this is what may harm us greatly, not approaching "unworthily" in a passionate sense. we misjudge what is unworthy behaviour by saying that if we are sinful we simply cannot approach the Cup. if that were so, then none could approach Him.

but look! the Lord Himself becomes a human being, sanctifying human flesh in His own Body, honouring His creatures by becoming like us so that we may become Like Him, restoring the Image that He made to shine His own self through, as if through a glass.

my words directed at myself were false, because i was only seeing my failure. i was not seeing the Lord at all, though i spoke of Him. my lukewarmness, as i called it, was gone as soon as i began to weep and was granted a contrite heart.

how could darkness be seen if the Light had not divided the two? and how can a person see their sins if the Lord does not shine awareness into a person's heart?

the purpose of the admonition to myself was to shake myself from sleep. but as soon as i had awoken, i fell asleep again by despairing. in saying i was estranged from the Body of Christ, in one sense it was accurate, and in another very deadly and wrong.

a member of the Body can be barren, yes, but one does not cast themselves out entirely except by heresy or apostasy. even then, the Lord does not destroy us, but we destroy ourselves. He waits patiently as we wander away, knocking continually on the door of our heart, wanting us to open up to Him so that He may heal us and regain us.

Glory to Him!

+++

4:

this is a very difficult thing to divide rightly for me, but with God's help i will try.

what i intended when i wrote to myself was this:

if i continually live fulfilling only my own will, then i will be doing myself the greatest harm. in living that way, i will be digging my own grave.

the next part was much more difficult for me to remember, but i believe that i intended this:

that if i live in such a way where i justify myself, making a show of godliness but denying His power to Save by not truly repenting, by abandoning my first love and cleaving only to my conceptions of the Lord rather than truly striving to know Him, then that would be lukewarmness. i believe that is what was meant by, "not struggling enough".

this second admonition is very difficult to accept as true, because the Lord is very merciful. He does not forget the slightest teardrop, nor part of a drop, and the sighs of a person are a part of the groanings of the Holy Spirit praying in us.

the heart of a person is known by God, and He sees the longing for Him buried beneath our love of the things that seperate us from Him.

i believe that i was drawing from the idea that the punishment for a lukewarm member of the Body of Christ is much more severe than one who is entirely cold. this is true, as we know.

however, as we also know, when a person is tormented by their sins it is because the Lord is allowing it to be so, that we may draw near to the only One Who can Save us from ourselves.

i do not say any of this to praise myself, but Him. without His grace, how could i desire to love Him or His creation? even that is a good gift, which comes from Him.

+++

5:

this is a fine saying, i thank God for it. the Saints attest to this, the Scriptures attest to this: it is the words of theirs that brought such words as these to my heart. i was very glad when i wrote it initially, and it was a breath of fresh air after all of the fire and brimstone i barraged myself with throughout this text.

as we hear continually, and as i will continually echo, it is the goodness of God which brings us to repentance, to true change of heart.

when we make a mistake, what good has it done us, my friends, when someone beats us over the head and yells at us for it? does it not generate enmity and disdain between us? does it encourage us to do better, or does it darken our faces and make us sad? does it cause disconnect, or does it deepen good connection in love?

in the same way, my beloved in God, if we treat ourselves in such a way, it will only make the heart stoop, and we will not be any closer to God by acting in such a way toward ourselves.

granted, the Lord may have compassion, seeing us berating and destroying ourselves; but the time comes when we must breathe a sigh of relief and gratitude at His mercies.

when we are granted to open our eyes, when we are given sight that cures our blindness after having cried out,"Thou Son of David, have mercy on me!" then we also, having received the cure from the Physician, begin to praise and Glorify Him.

our condition is immediately better in that we see our foolishness and prostrate before the kindness and magnanimity of the Master.

we may not be fully healed of our passions, but we are immediately humbled, and that is the beginning of health and life. and again if we should fall ill, which we most likely will, we need only seek out the same God Who wills our healing and restoration to Him.

let it not scandalize you to confusion that you fall each moment in various ways, sweet one. in allowing us to fall in diverse ways, we are granted good opportunity to come to the One Whose mercy endureth forever.

if we come to His house, Confessing to Him and worshipping Him in the unity of faith, being grieved at our illnesses and seeking Him as our only true remedy, then we can be sure that we will not leave His house saddened.

only, we need to forgive our enemies first, and make peace with those we have wronged.

we fall to our knees in agony, being granted to see our sins and foolishness, and behold: this is us making peace with the whole cosmos at once. we are then drawing near to the Lord with tears, and renouncing our self-will.

afterward, the Lord Himself grants us to retain such a contrite heart. with His help, we will eventually weep not only for ourselves, but looking on even those who hate us with a parental love.

but until then, let us continue to strive toward Him with the help of the prayers of the Most Pure Mother of God and all of Heaven!

the friends of God, His children, His Saints, His Angels; these are all united in their love for creation after the Image of the Creator, they are quite like unto Him.

we can be assured, as our Lord tells us plainly, that when even one of us changes our mind and turns toward the Lord, there is exceedingly great joy in Heaven.

we can be assured that such a cloud of witnesses encompasses us who have been united to His Body, and they even visit many, if not all, people who live on the earth that have not yet been united to Him in truth.

such is the nature of love, it is not bound by what we think, but instead the Holy Spirit is in all places and fills all things.

any who have even a slight will to not grieve the Lord will find Him abundantly showing mercy to them. and any who misuse such kindness, we know that the Lord still bears patiently with us.

only, may the Lord grant us to not mistreat His kindness for slackness or indifference, and hasten to do the work of God, for the time is short.

any of us who desire to become truly human, as Christ shows us what humanity is called to; let us call out to Him with faith that He desires this more than we ever have or could.

+++

with all this being said, having repeated myself many times, i say this to you, beloved reader, and to all of creation:

may the Lord Bless you and keep you

may the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you

may the Lord lift up His countenance upon you

and grant you His peace which surpasses all understanding.

to Him be Glory, honour and worship,

to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,

both now and forever,

and to the endless ages of eternity!

Amen.

from Mauston, Wisconsin,

with faith, hope, and love

asking your prayers and praying for you,

your friend and layman brother in Christ,

Dismas Bailey

Tuesday, June 30th, 2026

let us consider something together, beloved.

​

when we see an infant trip and fall, we have compassion and help them up, encouraging them to try again. when a child does something wrong, we may gently correct them, but only with love. when we see a fellow human being fall in some way, we consider ourselves, pray for them, and help them as best we can if they are willing to receive it.

​

when a father or mother sees their child suffering, they do everything they can to help them. like the mother whose child was sick, and she out of exceedingly great love said,"i would rather be cut to pieces than to see my baby suffer this way."

​

how much more, then, must the Lord see us with His own Divine, insurpassable, immaculate, all-wise, glorious love, when we fall in one way or another? and how must He lament and grieve with us when we fall to our habits which hinder us often, wanting to heal us and set us upright again?

​

when He sees even a single part of a teardrop, hears the slightest sigh, or feels the smallest and faintest longing for Him in our hearts, immediately He rejoices and sends His grace to aid us.

​

let us not count our sins only to Confess them, but His mercies also, which are infinitely more than our failures, and Glorify His All-merciful goodness together!

​

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages, Amen!

​

your layman brother,

​

from Mauston, Wisconsin with love

​

Dismas Bailey

​

written June 19th, 2026

let us consider something together, beloved.

​

when we see an infant trip and fall, we have compassion and help them up, encouraging them to try again. when a child does something wrong, we may gently correct them, but only with love. when we see a fellow human being fall in some way, we consider ourselves, pray for them, and help them as best we can if they are willing to receive it.

​

when a father or mother sees their child suffering, they do everything they can to help them. like the mother whose child was sick, and she out of exceedingly great love said,"i would rather be cut to pieces than to see my baby suffer this way."

​

how much more, then, must the Lord see us with His own Divine, unsurpassable, immaculate, all-wise, glorious love, when we fall in one way or another? and how must He lament and grieve with us when we fall to our habits which hinder us often, wanting to heal us and set us upright again?

​

when He sees even a single part of a teardrop, hears the slightest sigh, or feels the smallest and faintest longing for Him in our hearts, immediately He rejoices and sends His grace to aid us.

​

let us not count our sins only to Confess them, but His mercies also, which are infinitely more than our failures, and Glorify His All-merciful goodness together!

​

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages, Amen!

​

your layman friend,

​

from Mauston, Wisconsin with love,

​

Dismas Bailey

​

June 19th, 2026

​

​

beloved, we are in a time of great blessings.

i say first, i am not an authority. do not obey me, but hear the Lord, and hear His children whom He has appointed to you for your growth. namely, the shepherds of your Parish, who follow the example of our Lord, the Good Shepherd.

let us place at the feet of our Lord in Trinity and His children all that we seek to do in His Name, so that we may receive guidance, blessing, and the grace of God.

i write with pain, seeing many of my brethren desiring to share the truth, and i want to join their efforts.

the little trickster has a hand in this, however, seeing zeal for God and shooting tempting arrows of anger towards us.

i see my brethren taking up these arrows after they have not found their mark on their body, and thrusting them into their hearts, being poisoned with rage.

i hear tongues speaking malice, spewing insults and volleying fiery boulders upon those outside the Body.

and it is most painful because, as the Lord prays on the Cross,"forgive them, Father. they know not what they do."

many of us are trying to call down fire from heaven to smite those who make themselves our enemies, but we know not what manner of spirit we are of in doing so.

it would be better for us to meet those who oppose us, those who are neutral, and those who want to love God with the same meekness that He met the Samaritan woman, Photini, at the well.

many are heartwarmingly curious and many are contentious regarding the Faith that Christ lived, taught, and gave to the Apostles.

the Lord entrusted and chose the Apostles to pass on the Faith in and through the Holy Spirit, Who guides us into all truth and reminds us of all He has said.

maybe, just maybe, the blessing of so many people being curious about the Faith, as well as those contentious both within and without the Body; is our opportunity to be called deeper into it ourselves.

as our Lord says,"Blessed are you when men shall revile you and persecute you, and shall do all manner of evil against you for My sake."

and He says also,"love your enemies. Bless those who curse you. do good to them that do evil to you."

does He say this so that we may passively accept torment? no, but rather,"that you may be children of your Father Who is in Heaven."

and this witness to the mercy of Christ is a participation in His own mercy toward us.

He endured being reviled and spat upon by those whom He came to Save, in unending and Divine love.

every day, every moment, every breath, He patiently knocks at the doors of our hearts, as the Good Physician.

He is always visiting us to give us the remedy for our grievous illness. if only we answer the door, He will enter and enlighten our darkened thought, as He desires to.

then the Most Holy Trinity will abide in us, and us in Him, and it will be a feast of joy. it will be the return of the prodigal children that we are, and the indwelling of God's All-Holy and Life-giving Spirit.

many sicknesses were revealed in the advent of Christ's Incarnation, His earthly ministry, His Crucifixtion, His Resurrection, and His Ascension.

sin was and is revealed to be the departure from love of God and turning away from Him.

He told us that even the willing contemplation of hatred or condemnation of our neighbour in our hearts is the murder of our neighbour.

He told us that if we condemn that we shall also be condemned. that if we have no compassion, we will not receive compassion.

He told us that when we insult our neighbour and belittle them, it is a most destructive thing for our souls.

our Lord taught with words, yes, but how much more with His most excellent example? the same is true for the Apostles.

when they rebuked and reproved others, it was always to call them back to truth with utmost love and compassion.

if it was ever harsh, they had first discerned that it was the best way to reach the ones they loved.

the sternness of the correction is always proceeding from care for the one being corrected. as we know, beloved, "the Father disciplines those whom He loves."

i must say, im often harsh without real discernment. even when i dont speak my mind, i frequently condemn someone in my heart before i pray for them.

if we would pray, friends, and even ask the people we are tempted to condemn to pray for us, it would guard us from condemning them.

to judge righteously is good. that speaks of discernment, not condemnation.

to condemn is to discount and write a person off, and ignore the possibility of their repentance.

to discern is to consider and weigh with grace what is from God and what isn’t.

discernment is a gift, and it is filled with faith, hope, and love.

with it we never lose sight of God in the other person. we have compassion for all as He does.

we hope the Lord will help us all to come to know Him.

the Lord Jesus Christ promised that the Holy Spirit would descend from Heaven in a unique way.

His words were fulfilled at Holy Pentecost, which we celebrate and participate in mystically in this season.

the tongues which were divided at the tower of Babel were united at Holy Pentecost.

human ambition to deny God, to be god without God, was foiled for our own good.

then, the initiative of the Most Holy Trinity to unite all in Himself, to seat humanity in Heaven in His own Body, was made real in the Incarnation of the Only-Begotten Son and Word of God.

we know His life and works, always showing compassion in various ways, in the ways that were most effective for each person.

what im saying is, we dont know best. we think we do and act like we do, but we dont.

if we would show super-abundant compassion to all the Lord's creation, we would be taking a step closer to Him, and He would take a thousand towards us.

may it be according to His will for us, to Whom be Glory, honour and worship, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages, Amen.

from Mauston, Wisconsin,

with pain of heart,

with faith, hope, and love,

asking your prayers and praying for you,

your layman brother in Christ,

Dismas Bailey

June 1st, 2026

March 23rd, 2023:

i wrote this directly to myself but im minded to share it. please forgive me, a sinner, and please, please pray for me if the Lord reminds you. thank you for your time.

​+++

​it doesnt matter so much what you feel, what you want. it matters more what Christ wants. stop focusing so much on your desires, and focus instead on how Christ desires for you to be made Like Him.

​what is He Like? He is selfless, and He is Love. what are His desires? He desires that all should be Saved and come to the knowledge of Him.

He desires that all sinful flesh should repent; or, to put it in more appropriate terms, that all who are sick should be healed.

the Physician looks with great pity to those sick with sin; it is evident in His Incarnation,¹ His whole earthly life,² in His perplexing Victory at the Cross, in His Glorious Triumph over death by His Resurrection,³ and in His Divine Ascent to the Heavens.⁴

​what else could be said about His yearning for us, which is not already made apparent within you by the memory of these Holy things?

remember how He grieved over His beloved children as He approached them from afar, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!"

​this alone may show us how we ought to be towards our enemies, and much more loving than this to those we call our brethren and our sisters. Christ the Lord went to Jerusalem to die for us, into the hands of traitors and liars who were certainly His enemies, and does He selfishly complain? God forbid!

He \[grieves\] as a man, and as God, seeing the tragedy of the state His people are in, wanting nothing but for them to let Him help them. but we are not willing to receive this Gift of mercy, because we find other things more important.⁵

+++

May 18th, 2026:

in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen. Glory to You, o God, Glory to You!

these are comments on the reflection which i wrote in March of 2023 written now, in May of 2026:

¹: having Incarnated as a human being through the will of the Everlasting Father, the Overshadowing of the All-Holy Spirit upon the Virgin as she answered,"behold, the handmaiden of the Lord. be it to me according to thy word," the Son and Immortal Word of God, Jesus Christ, took flesh and became like us so that we may become like Him. this is so that He could unite in Himself us who have been scattered abroad, to Save us who have been lost.

as it is Written,"let Us make man in Our Image and after Our Likeness," showing that we are made to be the Temple of the Holy Spirit, and become,"partakers of the Divine Nature."

not that we should become what God is by Essence, but rather by being made members of His own Body, made possible by and through His Incarnation, through Baptism being Crucified and Risen in Christ as a new creation; we are granted to commune in His Energies.

like the rays of the Sun give life and warmth to the earth from afar, but if we approach it closely we are undone; in a similar but more mysterious and beautiful way we are granted to come near to the Most Holy Trinity, Who, as the potter with the clay, refines and molds it into a vessel for Himself.

slowly, slowly, gently, gently, by grace and through faith, hope and love, the Lord gradually helps us to see our sicknesses and wounds and heals us as we turn to Him.

the one who does not go to the doctor can remain sick, and the one who does not go to the Hospital of God- the Church, the Body of Christ, Who is the Great Physician: will not find the remedy, Who He Is.

the sun does not stop shining when we hide from it. neither does the Lord in Trinity, Who is Divine Light, stop shining compassion on the one who runs from Him.

in His Incarnation, the Phsyician of our souls becomes the remedy for our self-will and waywardness, becoming the Way, the Truth, and the Life to all. He already was this, but in becoming man He unites all to His Love, whether willing or not.

to the unwilling and disobedient, we go away to what we prefer over Him and are tormented by our own desires. to the willing and obedient, He gives the good of the land, and all good things come down from the Father of Lights, in Whom is no variableness nor shadow of turning.

in Incarnating, mankind is found in God, as He has brought all of humanity into the Life of the Holy Trinity. in humility and living out His prayer,"not my will, but Thy will be done," we are active, loving, willing participants in His Life, in His Crucifiction as members of His Body, in His Resurrection, and in His Ascension to Heaven.

²: the Lord Jesus Christ in His earthly life was always condescending to human beings of low estate in a compassionate way, making Himself available and drawing near to the broken hearted and contrite in spirit.

let us remember Photini, the Samaritan woman at the well, to whom was revealed the great Truth of the Lord Jesus being Christ, or Messiah; the Saviour of the world. and this is only one of many examples of similar compassionate movements from our most Excellent and Loving Lord, Who Is Himself Love.

in a Parable He tells us of the Good Samaritan, Whom He Is, that finds a person broken and beaten by the side of the road, having been stolen from and left for dead by the sinful passions and the demons.

He sees someone hurting and alone and does not hesitate to put that person, that being all of humanity personified allegorically; on His own beast of burden and carry them to the inn, or, the Church. He tells the innkeepers; that is, the Bishops, Priests, Deacons, and all the Faithful: to take care of that person and to lay to His own charge whatsoever they spend in caring for them, promising to repay them more than what they spend.

let us see the great generosity of the Lord in this, and let us rejoice to Him for His great loving kindness!

³: as we know, the Lord goes to the Cross for us. He endures not this only, being beyond time and not seperated from the things Above while yet being on the earth, as He is Omniscient. He endured in His Body on the earth and does yet endure all that we do to damage ourselves and others.

in His Body, we find healing and Life, but seperating ourselves in following our own will and not His, we find all misery and decay. this He comes to co-suffer with us for, and deliver us through His own grace and compassion.

He also endures visibly in the Gospels all the murmoring and backbiting, all the seditions and vainglory, all the greed and bloodlust, so that He may show His own patient and loving endurance in the face of our foolishness.

He does not immediately demand retribution from all, but from those He entrusts to guide the people by His Spirit He visibly demands a change of heart and actions.

the Pharisees became deluded by their own misunderstandings of the Divine Scriptures, and in so doing they became haters of God. standing before them visibly, they could not recognize Him.

but Simeon in the Temple, receiving Him as an Infant, said with great joy and peace in the Spirit,"Lord, now lettest Thou Thy servant depart in peace, for mine eyes have seen Thy Salvation. a Light to enlighten the gentiles, and the Glory of Thy people Israel."

having arranged with the traitor to take our Lord into custody for questioning, they found Him guilty of blasphemy in their own reasonings, and were not attentive to the Holy Spirit's guidance either through His worda or in their seared consciences. they condemned Him to death in their hearts, but resigned to bring Him before the Roman officials for a more,"proper," sentence.

we know of His suffering that day for our sakes, and we know that He destroyed the dominion of death for all humanity on the Third Day in Resurrecting from the dead.

He has power to lay down His life, and power to take it up again; and so, when He descended to the place of the dead, there He made a captive and a prisoner of death itself, whom held the souls of men prisoner and captive until His arrival.

death eagerly opened wide it's jaws to receive a man, and behold, it came face-to-Face with the God-man Jesus Christ.

He led the souls of the righteous out along with Dismas, the Good Thief who asked Him,"remember me, o Lord, when Thou comest into Thy Kingdom."

Arising from death, clothed in the Glory which He had before the world was, He went and spoke with the Apostles. there it was in the upper room where our friend Thomas, who reasonably asked for proof, put his hand into the side of our Most Precious Christ, and his fingers into the print of the nails, saying,"my Lord, and My God."

He also redeemed the despairing soul of our friend Peter, by asking him thrice,"Peter? lovest thou Me? feed My sheep."

having tarried there with the Apostles for some days and weeks, He then Ascended into Heaven, Blessing the whole world, and said,"Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world."

Amen.

⁴: having Ascended into Heaven to sit at the Right hand of the Father, we see a great and terrific sight. human flesh sitting in Heaven in the very Throne of God, in the Body of the Lord Jesus Christ.

it is this very Body wherein members of Christ are seated in Heavenly places with Him, and it is the heritage of all Christians who are in His Body to become His family.

yes, those who do His will are His family. those who turn to Him are His family, as that it what it means to repent: to turn to Him in our hearts. as it is Written,"draw nigh to Him and be enlightened, and your faces shall not be ashamed. this poor one cried and the Lord heard him, and delivered him from all his tribulation."

He wills for all to live and come to the experiential, communal knowledge of Him, partaking of His Life and becoming like Him by grace and through faith.

to know Him, the only wise God: that is Salvation as He said in the upper room, after having revealed the Great Mystery of Holy Communion. that is the Saving of us who are lost, the Life to those who are dead in sins, the Light Who enlightens the whole world. to be found in the House of the Father as a prodigal child returned Home, that is Salvation.

⁵: this was meant to be the most poignant prick in my own heart when writing all of this to myself. see the lamentation of Christ and how well it may align for yourself.

it is true, He is more willing to be compassionate and reason together with us, that our sins which are scarlet may be white as wool; but i turn ever away to do my own will.

it is i who i condemn and no one else, and when i see another fallen down, it is my heart, by grace, to have a compassionate eye rather than a condemning one.

when we remember our own sins, beloved, when we are cleaning and tending our own soul's garden, then we are too focused on the thorns of ourselves, the stony places, and the infestations of pests to be judgmental of another's.

when we see the same problems in others, it directs our eyes Upward to the Lord Who Himself bears our weaknesses and infirmities. in our weakness, His power is most effective; and in our humility, He is most generous.

to Him be all Glory, honour and worship, to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, Trinity One in Essence and undivided, both now and forever and to the endless ages of eternity, Amen.

when you begin to love Christ, you begin to see how you have treated Him by how people treat you, and it is humbling. you also begin to see how the Lord arranges all things in our lives so that we may learn humilty and meekness, and for the gaining of compassion and understanding. by the,"misfortunes," and conflicts we are faced with daily, we can see the loving providence of the Lord allowing for these situations to be so that we may see ourselves in His Light.

.

to see how sick of heart we are, and to be healed, the Physician of our souls administers a remedy according to it. we must see our sickness, we must be humbled by it, confessing it to God in contrition of heart. then we will begin to cooperate with Divine Grace, by drawing near to God in pouring out our hearts to Him, and He will guide us Home to Himself.

.

the lover of Christ loves everyone, they patiently and warmly bear everyone's burdens. their heart beats with prayer, they see God in every one of His creations, and rejoice to Him inwardly at the sight. coming into contact with other Images of God, when a blemish is made apparent, they mercifully look passed it to the resplendance of the Prototype.

.

when a copy-painter is often enraptured in wonder at the original masterpiece, they notice the blemishes in the replicas. a lover of Christ is grieved when someone is led astray, but they love Christ, showing compassion to the other. they have mercy on the one going astray, remembering how wayward they themselves are. they never,"hold it against," anyone, they forgive others, pray for them, and are generous with them.

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when cursed, they Bless who curse them, seeing God within them. when treated maliciously they remember their own sins, and look to their malefactors with benevolence, repaying evil with good. when they are persecuted they pray for their persecutors, wanting all people to enjoy the Grace of the All-Holy Trinity. Glory to Him.

everyone can seduce, but who can be trusted?

everyone can praise, but who can lovingly reprove?

everyone can arouse, but who can comfort?

everyone can please sensually, but who can serve humbly?

everyone can jest, but who can speak the truth?

every man has urges, who can subdue them?

every woman has desires, who can conquer them?

these two together can, with real love, conquer all things.

in lust there is all ruin and decay, there is no life within it.

lust is all remorseful, the food of fools.

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real love creates life, joy, suffering, hardship; all of which is not regrettable to the wise.

the man is the king, and yet the lowest servant.

the woman is the queen, always administering to the needs of the house.

kings and queens are honoured by their servants, and loved by their children.

they give their life for their subordinates and children, and are satisfied therein.

the house of the lustful man is in disarray, but the husband's is ordered.

.

the paths of the lustful man are leading to misery,

but the comitted man walks hand-in-hand with love, lacking nothing good.

near to death are the lustful,

but the selflessly-loving always burst with new life.

lust deceives even the one it holds captive,

but the one who loves also loves truth.

lust presents a mental image that cannot be satisfied, a hunger that doesnt end.

lust is a feral beast that devours those that nurture it, and leaves them with no peace.

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love is a fire that warms the heart, enlarges it, and holds the whole world within itself.

love puts itself below all things, to carry all things on its shoulders.

.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,

now and forever, and to the endless ages, Amen.

.

by:

the helplessly needy fool

[January 28th, 2025]

greetings to you, beloved reader of these words. i hope they find you in a state of courage, of good hope in our God Who is rich in mercy. and if not, may the Lord encourage you, friend, Who ever hastens to the side of the broken-hearted. the prodigal child, whom we all are, is received with unconceivably great joy by the Most Holy Trinity and by all of Heaven when He sees us coming to Him from afar, and immediately He runs to us and embraces us.

what i write, i write to myself foremost to encourage myself, and maybe you will find solace in knowing youre not alone in the struggle. may it be according to the will of the Lord for us, Whose will is that none of us should perish but live in Him, according to the Truth, Who He Is. Glory to Him!

now, let us reflect together, dear one, on what our All-Comely Christ, His Most Pure Mother, His Prophets, His Apostles, His Saints, and our spiritual fathers have taught us. may God grow within us fruits of repentance by our communal adoration in the Liturgy, our contemplation and praise of His goodness, and the recognition of our barrenness without Him.

there is a public prayer, and there is a private prayer. a communal prayer, and a prayer in solitude. both are to be guided by the Spirit of Truth, and if they are, they lead to union with Most Holy Trinity.

the two kinds of prayer go together, and urge each other forward; two legs walking toward the same destination. if the one is stilled, the other is halted from going forward. when we try to move forward without the other, our whole body limps with the unnatural process. we can suffer injury in this way, when something is in our path that we cannot pass without both legs and we try to do so anyway.

by this i mean that one can fall into despondency and into vainglory; ultimately into pride and self-sufficiency. i say this as one who has been limping alone in self-will, the love of pleasures, and of entertainment; one without the grace of the Mysteries, and who hopes to return Home to receive them.

similar to these two kinds of prayer, there are true things that lead to Christ which are to be shared with all, and things which are true but are meant solely for us. there are truths which are taught to all by the Divine Liturgy, by the writings of the Saints and the Scriptures, by our spiritual father and others after being made a member of the Body of Christ, and in Cathechism.

there are also honest perceptions of one's self in the Light of God. the universally true things we share openly align with and are contained within the Creed.

the aspiring lover of Christ is enlivened at the hearing of the Faith, and echoes every syllable of the Creed with joy in the Holy Spirit. they are granted grace to till the earth of their being, upheave the stones, remove the thorns and thistles, and become fertile ground for the good seed. they plant it through going to the Services and it is planted in them by God through His Spirit, as well as His servants; they water it with tears and it is watered in them by God and His servants: but God alone gives the increase.

that increase is love for Him and the rest of creation, increase in grace to resist temptation, increase in compassion for others and a mortification of judgment of others, increase in patient, grateful endurance, and increase in our likeness to Christ through the Spirit.

the work of Salvation is God through man, and man through God Who became man. it is with blood, with great struggle against one's self will, through the Mysteries, repentance, obedience and surrender that we obtain the gift of grace. through emptying ourselves of ourselves, through being filled and fueled by His mercy that we obtain mercy from God to us and from us to others as a gift.

a seed planted in good soil brings forth the same kind of plant, and it is that way with all things pertaining to God and the whole of His creation. it is not transactional, but restoration of relationship, of communion and their counterparts; of natural growth and contra-natural growth. all that is good is made possible by God out of His endless philanthropy, and all that is otherwise is our doing, and that of the little tricksters.

again, let us examine together: it is always good to share to one with a heart willing to come to Christ that He came into the world to Save sinners, of whom i,(the speaker,) am foremost. it is good, when God reveals to us that the time is right, to share the Truth and let Him plant a seed through our sharing of the Faith.

but the words of one's own humiliation before God, spoken from the depths with tears and sighs, are not always good to share. it is like making a newspaper article from a heartfelt conversation, it cheapens it and may mislead both the one who does such and the ones receiving such. it is best to keep such things to ourselves with God and our spiritual fathers; but the Lord will show us if it is otherwise, if we are granted such beautiful discernment from Him as a gift.

to one who cares for our soul, our spiritual father, it is good to share the depths of our hearts. our spiritual father is appointed by Divine dispensation, an experienced and loving sojourner, who will not lead us astray. he will receive our groanings and be granted the prescription from the Physician to give us, and we will work out our healing and restoration with gratitude and humility to God.

if we are willing and obedient, as He says, we will eat the good of the land. that is, every good thing comes from the Father of Lights, and He will not allow those who hunger and thirst for His righteousness to be empty of His grace. He is more willing to give than we are to receive.

to one who will resort to praise out of amazement, we should be cautious in sharing our experiences, preventing the seeds of vainglory. it is better, with the upright, with the hungered and thirsting for God, to speak only what is universally accepted, and keep the sharing of our personal experience to a minimum. they will be satisfied with the Truth, and it will also stir up their hunger and thirst further. when they hear the Faith of our Lord they will be in awe at His providence, and that seed will bear fruit if they are willing, when God shall guide them to Himself.

all of this discretion we reflect on together with the guidance of the writings of our Fathers is to dodge the bullets of vainglory and pride. these arrows can come from seemingly beneficial places! the little tricksters are crafty in their methods, but not altogether genius; with God it is easy to overcome them. why?

because with love of God one does not rely on themselves, but humbly surrenders to Him, and He delivers us, showing us the Way; that is, Himself. His grace is sufficient for us, and His power is made perfect in weakness. as long as we keep giving Him our weakness(our obedience,) then He will help us and cooperate with us as much as is needful for our souls to come to know Him in His Spirit.

what is needful for us is to come to God and our neighbours not as a teacher, but as a student. not as a master, but as a servant. not as one worthy of honour and lofty in our thoughts, but as a sibling who trusts his family and the Heavenly Father thereof.

we must be knit together in our hearts with God and our fellow creatures, and our efforts against self-love are necessary for this; our striving against our own will is necessary. by grace, through faith, hope and love, through the Holy Mysteries, God will be all in all. and this is not an easy path, but it is more gladsome and beautiful than the dreariness which the demons desire to drag us into.

we do not doubt the ability of the demons to destroy us when we are careless, or even when we strive with all our strength without God; by no means! when we examine ourselves and see how we have fared without grace in our battles with the demons, we will see that we fell in one way or another, or in many ways, or even in every way possible. therefore, we ought to entrust our weakness to God, Who is able to make us wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

in their love of foolishness, the demons attempt to ensnare us in all kinds of mischief. they are miserable, and they see us human beings as enemies because we bear the Image of the Lord, Whom they despise. they are unable to harm the Creator and they refuse to reconcile with Him, not only having originally chosen to eternally depart from Him but in their pride thinking that they are doing what is right. in their envy and rage, then, they try to harm the Images of the Lord Whom they cannot affect.

and those who love Christ come to love their enemies. they see the misery of the demons and their eternally hardened state and cannot help but feel sorry for them. they do not befriend them, by no means! but the lover of Christ also does not nurture malice towards them in their vigilance against their temptations.

it is like when a person around us is angry and envious of us; the best thing to do is not confront them directly, but to pray to the Lord and do what we can to not harm them. we see them harming themselves and we ache in compassion, not wanting them to suffer but knowing that we are not the ones to make choices for them. we let them live, and we try to acquire the Spirit of Peace.

so too with the little tricksters; we expect their mischief and attempts to destroy us as granted by Divine providence for our purification, and are grateful to God in such trials if we see His loving hand in all of it.

the lover of Christ takes pity on the demons whilst not reconciling with them, never entering dialogue with them, never accepting their pernicious suggestions. seeing that the demons fell from adoration of God to hatred of Him; they see themselves in such a way, too.

such lovers of God see how the Lord has allowed us to fall so greatly into demonic traps and our own foolishness, and they cannot help but praise God for His goodness. He does not immediately administer the destruction of demons, but has promised that they would go away to the torment they prefer over love of Him. nor does He immediately administer judgment onto His Image, but patiently endures our rigidity until His mercy begins to soften our hearts.

for this we ought to be endlessly grateful! that the Lord is merciful, super-abundantly merciful! and we ought to show mercy and compassion to all as He does, to every single one of His creations. may it be so through His grace, and through the prayers of His Most Pure Mother, of our Fathers among the Saints, and of all His Body!

Glory to Him, to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the endless ages of eternity, Amen.

written on March 20th, 2026

i wrote this directly to myself but im minded to share it. please forgive me, a sinner, and please, please pray for me if the Lord reminds you. thank you for your time.

​+++

​it doesnt matter so much what you feel, what you want. it matters more what Christ wants. stop focusing so much on your desires, and focus instead on how Christ desires for you to be made Like Him.

​what is He Like? He is selfless, and He is Love. what are His desires? He desires that all should be Saved and come to the knowledge of Him. He desires that all sinful flesh should repent; or, to put it in more appropriate terms, that all who are sick should be healed. the Physician looks with great pity to those sick with sin; it is evident in His Incarnation, His whole earthly life, in His perplexing Victory at the Cross, in His Glorious Triumph over death by His Resurrection, and in His Divine Ascent to the Heavens.

​what else could be said about His yearning for us, which is not already made apparent within you by the memory of these Holy things? remember how He grieved over His beloved children as He approached them from afar, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!"

​this alone may show us how we ought to be towards our enemies, and much more loving than this to those we call our brethren and our sisters. Christ the Lord went to Jerusalem to die for us, into the hands of traitors and liars who were certainly His enemies, and does He selfishly complain? God forbid! He [grieves] as a man, and as God, seeing the tragedy of the state His people are in, wanting nothing but for them to let Him help them. but we are not willing to receive this Gift of mercy, because we find other things more important.

when you begin to love Christ, you begin to see how you have treated Him by how people treat you, and it is humbling. you also begin to see how the Lord arranges all things in our lives so that we may learn humilty and meekness, and for the gaining of compassion and understanding. by the,"misfortunes," and conflicts we are faced with daily, we can see the loving providence of the Lord allowing for these situations to be so that we may see ourselves in His Light.

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to see how sick of heart we are, and to be healed, the Physician of our souls administers a remedy according to it. we must see our sickness, we must be humbled by it, confessing it to God in contrition of heart. then we will begin to cooperate with Divine Grace, by drawing near to God in pouring out our hearts to Him, and He will guide us Home to Himself.

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the lover of Christ loves everyone, they patiently and warmly bear everyone's burdens. their heart beats with prayer, they see God in every one of His creations, and rejoice to Him inwardly at the sight. coming into contact with other Images of God, when a blemish is made apparent, they mercifully look passed it to the resplendance of the Prototype.

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when a copy-painter is often enraptured in wonder at the original masterpiece, they notice the blemishes in the replicas. a lover of Christ is grieved when someone is led astray, but they love Christ, showing compassion to the other. they have mercy on the one going astray, remembering how wayward they themselves are. they never,"hold it against," anyone, they forgive others, pray for them, and are generous with them.

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when cursed, they Bless who curse them, seeing God within them. when treated maliciously they remember their own sins, and look to their malefactors with benevolence, repaying evil with good. when they are persecuted they pray for their persecutors, wanting all people to enjoy the Grace of the All-Holy Trinity. Glory to Him.