u/Exact_Canary2378

Today I spoke with a realtor I was considering working with, and the interaction left me feeling defeated. This would be my 4th home purchase and I’ve also sold a home before, so I’m familiar with how the process works. My fiancé works full time and I’m the one primarily handling the search, so I explained that I’d likely do the initial viewings and then bring him once we found a property worth taking to the next step.

She kept pushing back saying we should always go together because we would both need to sign documents eventually, but I explained that I understand how the process works and know he would of course be involved once we were actually moving toward an offer. We’re still at the stage of narrowing things down and seeing what’s even worth pursuing.

I also mentioned that responsiveness matters to me because I’ve previously missed out on homes due to a realtor being too busy, and she immediately started talking about how valuable her time is, which caught me off guard because of course I respect that, but I’m also trying to have my time valued too as a buyer.

She also kept asking why I left my previous realtor and where/who I was pre-approved with, and while I understand those questions eventually, I wasn’t really comfortable sharing all of that before even deciding whether we’d be a good fit to work together.

I just want to be able to be comfortable saying 'oh those details I'll share once we figure out if we are good fit to work together.' I just can't seem to have the courage when I get caught off guard.

EDIT* I'm definitely not going to be working with this realtor, the question I'm asking is more how to handle the actual situation. I didn't feel comfortable telling her the details of why I didn't want to continue working with my past realtor or where and with whom I am pre approved for. Those are details to share once we actually have a working relationship.

I had some years of extreme instability and now life finally feel stable. I feel stable. I trust myself again.

What things make your life feel stable? For me, it's have a steady routine. I.e being in classes, running errands on certain days, having leisure time, not worrying if you'll have enough money to pay rent.

I went no contact with my parents and sibling and that has helped a loooooot.

I went through a brutal divorce from 29-31 and now being 32 I finally feel somewhat secure. I still have a long way to go but after so much instability and losing so much I feel alright.

I just wanted to ask the ladies who are in their early 30's how they are doing too.

Right now I have a little over $5 k in liquid cash and just under $40 k invested. I own a small home and it has a mortgage on it. My vehicle is paid off, no credit card debt, student debt or medical debt. My bills are paid and im not stressing how to pay my rent like I was 2 years ago in the thick of my divorce.

I know some people at this age have multiple 6 figures of savings and investments and also some people have very little. I was curious how others my age were doing.

EDIT* I want to add, I have no idea what 'normal' 'median' or 'average' is and that is why ia m asking. My ex husband made me homeless while I was pregnant and I had very little help from my family.

Becoming a mother made me realize how much I was neglected growing up.

My parents prioritized education, but were very uninvolved parents. My childhood was filled with instability, abuse, and domestic violence in the home. I realized I have never missed my parents. As a child, I dreaded going home. I never looked to my parents for comfort or help. I remember going to camp for a week and loving it, but dreading going home (this trip was only possible because my best friend’s mom paid for my brother and I to attend).

For most of my life, I thought how my brother and I were treated was normal that boys were always prioritized over girls. They supported him in every way. They co signed his student loans, paid his full house down payment, and went on the mortgage with him. They invested in his hobbies (music, art, gaming). They taught him how to drive and let him use the family car. None of that was ever offered to me. I had to get my boyfriend to teach me to drive and pay for driving lessons from an instructor and buy my own car and get a loan. I dropped out of school because I couldn’t afford it and went back on my own.

When I got divorced, they made it clear helping me with a mortgage would be a burden. I only lived with about 7 weeks and It was awful. It went into debt to get away from them. Later on, I scraped all my pennies together bought a fixer upper home without them. It still wasn’t enough in my mom’s eyes. She was always asking when I'll be buying a bigger house etc.

When I was pregnant, they abandoned me. After that horrible experienceI did everything to keep the peace. Even at nine months pregnant with my second baby, I was running errands, giving rides, and doing admin work for my mom’s business. She would call me while on vacation pretending to check in, but really needing something, and I would drop everything. The only thing I could ever expect from my mother is if im havign an and day she will make it so so much worse.

I have always shown up for them. When it was my university and high school graduation my mom didn't want to go and asked if she could stay home. I was always more of a parent to my mother than she was to me. She put all of her emotional burdens on to me, I was expected to just figure things out but expected to always help her with her business, rides, booking flights - everything.

I am now no contact. It started when I refused a last minute request, and they stopped speaking to me. It became clear that when I stopped being useful, the relationship ended. My dad called today, and it upset me. But I know I made the right decision. They only ever brought chaos into my life. The void of not having parents is painful but I don't want them. It's been much more peaceful ever since.

I’ll spend my life healing and giving my children what I never had.

Becoming a mother made me realize how much I was neglected growing up.

My parents prioritized education, but my childhood was filled with instability, abuse, and domestic violence. I never missed them. As a child, I dreaded going home. I remember going to camp for a week and loving it, only because my best friend’s mom paid for my brother and me.

For most of my life, I thought how my brother and I were treated was normal. It wasn’t. They supported him in every way. They co signed his student loans, paid his full house down payment, and went on the mortgage with him. They invested in his hobbies (music, art, gaming). None of that was ever offered to me. I dropped out of school because I couldn’t afford it and went back on my own.

When I got divorced, they made it clear helping me would be a burden. I only lived with about 7 weeks and went into debt to get away from them. later on, I scraped all my pennies together bought a fixer upper home without them. It still wasn’t enough in my mom’s eyes. She was always asking when I'll be buying a bigger house etc.

When I was pregnant, they abandoned me. After that, I did everything to keep the peace. Even at nine months pregnant, I was running errands, giving rides, and doing admin work for my mom’s business. She would call me while on vacation pretending to check in, but really needing something, and I would drop everything.

I have always shown up for them.

I am now no contact. It started when I refused a last minute request, and they stopped speaking to me. It became clear that when I stopped being useful, the relationship ended. My dad called today, and it upset me. But I know I made the right decision. They only ever brought chaos into my life. The void of not having parents is painful but I don't want them. It's been much more peaceful ever since.

I’ll spend my life healing and giving my children what I never had.

Recently she has posted she went on a cruise and now she is going on vacation again.

So in the last couple of year; they got a new house, Tesla, she got a breville for Christmas, a piano for Christmas, a expensive camera for her birthday.

Lots and lots of trips. She use to be so so frugal.

So she is sort of living a pretty luxury lifestyle? She also is a SAHM and as someone who works in content creation I know she isn't making much from her content because she hasn't had a brand deal in years, I doubt the affiliate links earn her much and her views are pretty low. Her

I am just confused how all of this is possible? My ex husband use to earn like multiple 6 figures and we were definitely not living that large.