u/Excellent-Finish1069

It is incredibly strange to be friends with someone who has a completely different life philosophy and moral compass. We have been best friends for over 15 years, and up until this point, we managed to get along pretty well despite our differences.

I used to love talking to her and listening to her, and I have always been there for her through tough times. However, I grew up as a practicing Muslim, while she is (in my opinion) a complete hedonist. I have never tried to force my beliefs onto her. But when she constantly talks about her numerous sexual partners, her chaotic situationships, the endless parties, and her drug consumption, I can't help but feel upset at times. Still, I always tried to support her, listen to her, and understand her, telling myself, "Hey, we just come from different cultures." But my frustration is growing stronger every day.

She constantly faces the exact same problems with her partners, it is the same story every single time. I can’t listen to it anymore. I just want to tell her to obsessing over men omg, it's like 80% of our conversations. I'm tired of listening, it's like a broken record. (Although it is pretty entertaining sometimes, but after 15 years y'all I'm tired)

Things reached a peak when she had her first drug-induced psychosis. I had voiced my concerns in the past, but I never tried to force her to change; in fact, I used to feel guilty and worried that my frustration meant I was being "controlling." After that first episode, she didn't change her lifestyle at all and, as you guessed it, suffered a second psychosis. She did some pretty messed-up things during this second episode, and I don't even know how to feel about it.

I was the one who drove three hours to the party she was at, to get her into a psychiatric hospital, because she was literally attempting to drive while actively psychotic. I spent the entire day trying to "catch" and safely contain her. After that, I feel like something broke inside me.

I notice that I just don't feel much empathy toward her anymore. I can’t even bring myself to text her because I’m terrified of what she’s going to tell me next. To put it simply: I just don't care anymore, and I don’t want to hear it.

Following her release, she was strictly told to reduce stress (as she might have bipolar disorder) and to completely avoid all drugs, including alcohol. Yet, she just called me to talk about a party she went to, brushing it off because she *"*was only there for a few hours," and admitting she drank, but claiming "it’s okay because it was just a tiny bit." I just can't listen to this anymore.

I deeply care about her, but I have no idea what to do. She is still freshly out of the psychiatric ward, and I don’t want to emotionally overwhelm her, but I honestly don't know what is going on with me right now. It's super strange when I see her and talk to her, it's like always: fun. But when she leaves and I reflect everything, I grow frustrated. At times even hating her??? It's eating me up inside.
It's not like she did anything bad to me specifically (although I don't like how she treats her partners lol), I don't even know if I have the right to be upset...

Any advice would be welcomed.

everyone has to compromise to her needs, drop everything and rush to her the moment she feels bad. Using people to emotionally regulate herself.
No one is empathetic enough, good enough, supportive enough, constantly crossing boundaries, not taking a "no" for an answer and somehow always the VICTIM.
B*tching and whining about literal everyday struggles and acting like it is the end of the world and their problems mattering more then anything.

Funny thing is I am in good terms with her, probably even her FP. She had a drug induced psychosis year ago, did not stop doing bs and had a second one and I had to pick her up in a total of 6 hour ride from a party where she SAd two guys...
Has drama with her other b (let's call her bsf no.2)sf, because she did not pick up the phone when she was "in need", after bsf no. 2 set a boundary of not wanting to be contacted bc she had to write her Bachelor's Thesis, she spammed her with weird a$$ massages, and somehow lives in the delusion bsf no.2 is JEALOUS???

She does take accountability for the SA part, and tbf she was psychotic, (genuinely she had to go to a psychward for 2 weeks) yet she's still in in belief they "let her down" and had to take better care of her...like bro...
And it is so strange because she is not like that to me, she is not toxic to me, but her drama just drains me so much because SHE IS THE PROBLEM, and I am tired of always having to comfort her..
I have known her for over 15 years, and one day the day will come I let her down, and I know she is gonna split on me...she lives in her own movie, the star of her show and everyone else is just an NPC.
She has not done anything bad to me in particular, I think I can just handle her pretty well, but she is high-key crazy, especially to her male situationships/relationships or wtf-idgaf-ships. If I was a man we could never in a million years be friends, her expectations are like on Mars...even I lose some hair, I don't wanna know what they experience looool
For someone complaining about men she sure acts like the classic comic-villain evil boyfriend.

Anyways I just had to vent, bc I do love her and she is dear to me, but (esp after the SA part) idk if I can continue this..

I am F/23, and my friend experienced a drug-induced psychosis about a year ago, followed by a second psychotic episode very recently. She wasn't particularly careful after her first episode, as she continued to drink and smoke MJ, and went skiing twice...Between these two major episodes, she also had two "manic-like" phases.

What concerns me now is that after each psychotic episode, she seems to adopt a new, deeply held belief that doesn't completely go away. For example, she suddenly thinks other girls are constantly "jealous" of her, or that every single guy who glances her way is "flirting." When I mentioned waiting for a reply on my portfolio, she tried to convince me that I must call and text them repeatedly to "impress" them into accepting me.

While these ideas might sound relatively tame or normal on the surface, she was never like this before her psychosis. Similarly, she was never religious or spiritual before, but now she is almost obsessed with it and holds very strange ideas.
It is just strange not particularly psychotic, to someone who does not know her past, she might just seem like someone into esotericm.

I am worried because she displays these traits even outside of her active "episodes." It feels like a part of her delusions is always lingering. Because these beliefs aren't entirely detached from reality, they could technically be true, or she could just be a spiritual person, it is incredibly easy for other people to miss them and not bat an eye.

I really don't know how to handle this. Since she doesn't have an official diagnosis.
I want to know: is this a common effect after psychosis? Did she perhaps just not fully recover?

I appreciate any help. <3

I 23/F was on a call with my best friend I've known over a decade 23/F.
One of her situationships was with her and she was awfully quite and did not really engage in anything I was saying, l did ask if everything is okay but both insisted yes.
Later I started to hear her breathing more heavily, a thought sneaked into my head, but I thought "no that is crazy, she would not do THAT" but then she said it's awkward having me on the call while having sex.

I immediately hung up and I broke down crying, I feel sick, I feel dirty, I feel gross. People already told me I am overreacting, I kindly disagree.
Do not get me wrong I am not traumatized by this but rather disgusted someone I have known over a decade would do such a thing...

I do not think I can forgive her. There has been stuff going on before but this is my final straw.

Feel free to leave your thoughts, I am curious because I personally would say this is bordering on SA, anyways...lol