u/Excellent-Pirate-895

Just curious how common either option is in the lesbian poly community

(Tw: severe therapy abuse, mentions of hospitalization threat, please do not read if you would find this triggering)

For context, my current therapist can be helpful but also doesn't believe me when I even tell her that my stomach issues are not psychosomatic.

She actually fake nodded at me last session while I was trying to convince her. So that one still stings a bit. I don't think she's aware the fake nod is obvious but it very much is. It's a big contrast with her normal style which is very genuine. Like I could be wrong but I doubt it.

Anyway, I (30's F) can give more details if needed but my previous therapist has a parent with histrionic personality disorder and long story short my therapist started exhibiting some of those traits. Not diagnosing her, just an observation.

This included a significant amount of emotional enmeshment, breaking down and crying in our sessions, telling me not to see any other providers, actively flirting with me and making sexual comments when there were no sexual topics present, asking me to see her outside of sessions for "free after hours exposure therapy" and getting upset when I politely declined. Extending sessions regularly on her own, dressing provocatively (like night club level wear which was not her usual attire), etc.

The first 6 months were professional and then the above slowly started happening and was increasing over time.

(TW: The below is the severe part)

One day we had a session after my dog had passed away and I told her that I wasn't ready to talk about it. She responded "not even with ME?!!"

And I was kind of annoyed in general as in the previous sessions she had made multiple comments about my appearance to the point of knowingly making me uncomfortable and then apologizing. But the apology was also flirtatious and then she just did it again in the next session.

So I responded "no" in a bit of a flat tone because I felt she was being entitled and not respecting that boundary...or other boundaries. It was clear this hurt her feelings and she felt slighted.

Before I could react to that she pivoted immediately to threatening to hospitalize me because 'surely it must be bad if I'm not telling her'.

I calmly explained that wasn't the issue.

She then proceeded to try to provoke me in various ways. Which did not work because being alone with an unhinged person provoking me is pretty standard for me.

But when that didn't work she asked if I thought she was being a bitch and if so I should tell her that.

I wasn't thinking that and never spoke disrespectfully to her or anyone like that. So I just shook my head no.

At that point she seemed frustrated and then pivoted to making me promise not to off myself. Which has literally never been a thing and was not a thing. I was so annoyed but clearly she had a massive amount of power over me so I was just like yes I promise not to off myself.

The next session she started crying and apologized. Said she would never actually report me no matter what I said and that I could tell her anything and she never would.

I reassured her again that I wouldn't off myself and moved on to other topics.

I slowly pulled away from this therapist over the next few months so I could leave safely and uneventfully. More inappropriate comments ensued but I just ignored them which led to more of her being upset and making rude, bullying comments. When I let her know the next session would be my last, she asked me to stay and in the last session she was shaking and crying and again tried to get me to stay.

It was painful to watch as I'm very empathetic but I was actively working on building up my defenses to things like this as I was literally in therapy due to multiple dynamics just like this one. Which made it more messed up that she just went for the re-enactment here despite my lack of participation.

Anyway, I'm realizing this has left lasting trauma as I've noticed I'm so afraid of it happening again now that I'm back in therapy.

The reason I went back to therapy years later is that I have a domineering and inappropriate boss who reminds me of a previous boss I had a quid pro quo situation with years ago. My most recent boss was great but he left and this guy took over. So immediately I went back to therapy because this shift has already been triggering for me.

But this thing with the previous therapist has just caused me to have a wall up with the new one.

I'm so afraid they'll just do the same thing if I say anything. I only stated earlier that boundaries got blurred with a previous therapist and I had to stop seeing them. I didn't share the full extent of it. But now I'm having nightmares about it as I get closer to the new therapist. And I can't tell if that's my own internal warning system recognizing something in this new therapist or if it's just a proximity thing. I actually have another therapist who I keep things lighter with and that has not caused this level of distress. My active diagnosis is CPTSD from other severe traumas, some life-threatening and traumatic on their own and others from long-term abuse.

Any advice on what could happen if I disclose this?

I'm a pretty casual player and tend to play in less busy servers but wondering if anyone else is looking for someone to play with?

(tw: mentions of inappropriate relationships)

I (F, 30's) am trying to figure out if this is just a me thing or possibly a bit of a poly thing.

I'm naturally polyamorous and always have been. I understand that people can choose it as a relationship style but for me it's just how I naturally relate to people.

I don't have much jealousy, I can go from one person to the next without losing momentum or care for the other person.

I have a good amount of compersion and the chances of me being into a meta is pretty high.

That being said, I have a long history of what could be considered inappropriate relationships.

Bosses, therapists, other medical professionals, etc.

If we're in close proximity and you're attractive it's pretty much automatic that I'll be down for a relationship.

I want to be clear that I'm not that promiscuous. I've literally only had a sexual relationship with 2 people in the past 6 years. But a couple situationships and plenty of crushes.

Things with my previous therapist got to be a bit too much, like super blurred that line so I ended it. But that was actually on her side and I remained professional. It was hard though.

Now I have another therapist who knows my history (minus the therapist part because I didn't tell her that one but I don't think adding another example would change anything for her). Anyway, our dynamic is fine. She like barely crossed the line for a second and then went back to being professional. I have zero concerns and make sure I hold the boundaries myself this time just in case.

But I'm also seeing another therapist for a specific issue. She is aware of things with the previous therapist but does not seem to have her guard up as much. Therapy was not her original field so idk this one is harder because the boundaries are loose. Like even after I mentioned the other therapist, for unrelated reasons she extended that session and the next one so I've made sure to force things to end on time even if she's down to stay and chat longer. But I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that is weak and would go for it.

To be clear, I don't go around seducing people, it's more like I just vibe with people pretty easily and don't have firm boundaries. Like there is no messy list for me. But after things with the previous therapist and a previous boss I decided to try and have some. Both of them used the power imbalance against me so that kind of sobered me up a bit to the reality of getting in those relationships.

It's also not just inappropriate relationships, I'm like this with everyone, it's just that it's more problematic when it's inappropriate.

I guess for this post I'm just curious if I'm the only one who is like this?