AITA for telling my girlfriend to stop making judgy comments about an elderly woman?
My girlfriend and I are both 29 and we've been together for around 2.5 years. She has wonderful qualities about her, such as being funny, affectionate, smart and kind. I will say she also has other sides to her that Iove but can be a lot.. she's very opinionated and can be nitpicky about specific things, especially when it comes to whether things "feel clean", which is relevant here
Today we were coming back home from travels and we ate at an airport restaurant. It's one of those tight spaces where tables are close together and you share a bench with an entire row. We were placed next to an elderly couple, and as they got up to leave, the elderly woman farted very loudly inches away from my gf. I do admit the smell was awful, but it's something that will pass.
My girlfriend made a stink of it, thankfully after the couple was out of earshot. She kept saying how disgusted she was, how she lost her appetite and the valley girl accent came out where it sounded particularly more judgey and entitled than she usually is (i promise she's a kind person generally). The first couple of times, I joked with her amd agreed it was gross. But the 3rd and 4th time, it sounded malicious almost and I actually got triggered because we both have parents getting to that age.
I told her that it straight up isn't cool to make fun of old people and not to do that in front of me.
She immediately got defensive and looked at me like I lost my mind. She said she's allowed to express when something is gross and uncomfortable, especially since she did no harm in her mind since the couple couldn't hear her. I explained to her that this was starting to sound like bullying a more vulnerable group of people who can't control their bodily functions.
She got even more angry with me and said i was "infantalizing" the elderly (yes she actually used that word), and that if they are capable of traveling and walking aroudn then i shouldn't treat them like they're helpless. I used the comparison of someone speaking badly about her mom as an example, and she said it was a poor argument since her mom farted a lot at the dinner table growing up and her/her father would always call her out for it.
Anyways, she was angry the rest of the meal. I tried apologizing for jumping the gun, but she's convinced that i misunderstood her intentions and said i was morally policing her. She's usually a very reasonable person and we don't fight much, so I was surprised she was so adamant that she isn't wrong here. I told her that it's our job as romantic partners to hold each other accountable when we're speaking in ways that aren't cool, and she doesn't think she spoke badly.
I do admit looking back that my tone might have been sharp since I was pretty triggered and angry, but I don't think the bulk of my message was wrong. We're both compassionate people who volunteer, help our friends in need and always do the right thing. She's still upset with me though and asked for space. AITAH?
EDIT: I do want to clear things up about how my girlfriend was ranting about the old lady. She never said anything mean or malicious about the lady, but she kept saying, "I'm so grossed out", "this is disgusting", "it smells so bad", "we barely ate anything today and now this?" I'm not defending her tone, but I want to make the lines clear of what was said since I think people assumed she was shit talking old people directly. Regardless, I know how this can still feel targeted towards the elderly.
And as I said, the couple already left when my girlfriend started ranting to me about it.