u/Expensivebreakfast19

This is too complicated to write it all with the limited mental capacity I have at the moment. I finally blocked the person I now call my ex because he has been dangling a carrot and then taking it away for months now. While I am dealing with breast cancer and my dog's passing. I admit that every time he's been hurt and breaks up with me or needs a break I freak out and beg him to not leave me, even though I know someone with a good heart and who is able to love others would not walk away during a time like this. Yes he helped me for about a month with dr appointments and my double mastectomy recovery which is why I'm so attached to him but also turned his back on me when I hit a wall and had a nervous breakdown from all the suffering I have been experiencing including not being able to sleep properly for 2 months. I have not had the chance to process having cancer and losing my dog because I've been hyper focused on winning him back. My nervous breakdown was a few days ago and he got scared, but held me for 2 days and told me everything would be ok maybe we could even look for a place to live together that could be our sanctuary. Then yesterday he left on a 3 week trip to see his family overseas and as soon as he left my place sent me a text that he can't make any promises as this has gotten too toxic. I begged him for hours via text. He said he needs space and I need to respect that. For the record he is British, 39 and has not been in a serious relationship his entire adult life, only once in college. I saw this as a red flag but he was so convinced of wanting me that I let him. Even though he said he needs a few days, I know what he's going to tell me if he ends up contacting me. He's going to discard me. So I decided to block him and deleted anything related to him. Probably doesn't make a difference because he doesn't want to talk but I had the urge and felt scared but good at the time. I also attended a SLAA meeting and chatted with people to stay in recovery but it's only been a few hours and this is so hard.

Am I making a mistake by blocking him if he said he needed some days? I did send a small care package to his family home which will arrive next week and I think he might say thank you. I'm scared I want to do the right thing and if I could I would admit myself to a hospital but I have to go to work. I cry before during and after work every day missing him. And knowing no one will want me as a 42 year old broke woman with deformed breasts is so heartbreaking. This is killing me.

I (41 f) had a double mastectomy in June and my partner of 7 months (39 m) cared for me at his request after the surgery and took me to all the doctors appointments before and after surgery. He was very involved with my care and very supportive. We had plans of moving in together and eventually abroad. My 15 year old dog passed away a month after the surgery and it all changed. He broke up with me a few days later because I didn't make him a part of my dogs passing and he felt left out. I've been in excruciating discomfort since the surgery and unable to sleep much most nights..needless to say I've had some really dark moments and lots of tears. Sometimes I've snapped or have been angry, and he has not been understanding about why I might feel or do certain things out of anger and grief. He thinks everything is targeted at him. Our one year anniversary is next week and when we spoke about it a few days ago, he said he was feeling very anxious and sick from thinking about how this past year he's lost himself and put all his needs aside from this relationship and that he can't give me the security I want. This is the third time he basically breaks up with me after having breast cancer surgery and losing my baby. I feel so defeated and small. How can someone be so dedicated at first and turn this cruel?

I don't know if i should give him grace and allow him to also be tired from this sadness and from taking care of me. I know cancer can be very hard for the caregivers too but him dumping me because he's so emotional is the last thing I need while I'm recovering and grieving my body, my health and my dog. I feel completely shattered inside.

I'd love to hear from those who had relationship problems during cancer.

I (41 f) had a double mastectomy in June and my partner of 7 months (39 m) cared for me at his request after the surgery and took me to all the doctors appointments before and after surgery. He was very involved with my care and very supportive. My 15 year old dog passed away a month after the surgery and it all changed. He broke up with me a few days later because I didn't make him a part of my dogs passing and he felt left out. I've been in excruciating discomfort since the surgery and unable to sleep much most nights..needless to say I've had some really dark moments and lots of tears. Sometimes I've snapped or have been really angry, and he has not been understanding about why I might feel or do certain things out of anger and grief. He thinks everything is targeted at him. Our one year anniversary is next week and when we spoke about it a few days ago, he said he was feeling very anxious and sick from thinking about how this past year he's lost himself and put all his needs aside from this relationship and that he can't give me the security I want. This is the third time he basically breaks up with me after having breast cancer surgery and losing my baby. I feel so defeated and small. How can someone be so dedicated at first and turn this cruel?

I don't know if i should give him grace and allow him to also be tired from this sadness and from taking care of me. I know cancer can be very hard for the caregivers too but him dumping me because he's so emotional is the last thing I need while I'm recovering and grieving my body, my health and my dog. I feel completely shattered inside.

I'd love to hear from those who had relationship problems during cancer.