u/Extension_Fish7340

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

A sincere reminder to my brothers and sisters:
Please be very careful about asking strangers on Reddit for marriage advice.

Before you take someone’s advice, ask yourself:

Who am I asking?
Who is this person?
Are they even Muslim?
Do they follow the Qur’an and the Sunnah?
Do they sincerely want what’s best for my marriage?
Will they answer before Allah for the advice they’re giving me?

Too often we see people encouraging divorce over issues that could have been worked through. We also see people dismissing genuine problems or encouraging unhealthy behavior. Neither extreme is helpful.

Instead of relying on anonymous opinions, turn back to Allah.

Make your adhkar every morning and evening.
Recite the Qur’an often.

Read Surah Al-Baqarah regularly.

Increase your du’a.

Put your trust (tawakkul) in Allah.

Allah is the One who changes hearts.

We already know the roles and responsibilities of husbands and wives in Islam. If both spouses sincerely strive to fulfill their duties for the sake of Allah not for their own ego, but seeking His pleasure many problems become easier to overcome.

Even a marriage that seems impossible to save can improve by the permission of Allah.
And if serious issues remain, seek help from
righteous people:

A trustworthy scholar.
A sincere student of knowledge.
An Islamic marriage counselor who gives advice based upon the Qur’an, the authentic Sunnah, and the understanding of the righteous predecessors (Salaf).

Never forget:
The worst husband can become the best husband.
The worst wife can become the best wife.
And sadly, the opposite is also true.
Hearts are in the Hands of Allah.
So never underestimate the power of sincere du’a.
People once thought human flight was impossible. By Allah’s permission, today people fly across the world in airplanes. So never think your situation is beyond Allah’s ability to change.

Trust Allah.
Love your husband.
Love your wife.
Respect each other.
A husband should strive to be just, gentle, and merciful.
A wife should be honored, appreciated, and cherished.
Treat each other with kindness.
Buy her flowers.
Surprise her with a thoughtful gift.
Cook him his favorite meal.
Speak gently.
Forgive often.
Show gratitude.
Obey him.

Marriage is not husband versus wife.
It is husband and wife together, striving to please Allah.

May Allah put love, mercy, patience, and barakah in all of our marriages. May He guide our hearts, forgive our shortcomings, and make our homes places of tranquility.

Follow Islam, not Reddit.
Wa alaykum as-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

I’d really appreciate a woman’s perspective on something that has been on my mind for a long time.

My wife and I have been living together for a little over a year. I work full-time, and she stays at home. I take care of all the finances, bills, paperwork, and most of the responsibilities outside the home. She takes care of the cooking and household chores. I do help around the house from time to time, but she handles most of it. This arrangement has never really been a source of conflict between us.

The thing that confuses me is the emotional distance that has developed.

I tell my wife regularly how beautiful she is. I tell her how much I love her, how much I miss her during the day, and how excited I am to come home to her. I make sure she knows she’s wanted, appreciated, and loved.

I’ve never intentionally made her feel unattractive, unwanted, or taken for granted. In fact, I probably reassure her of my love more than most men do.

Yet over time, she has become more distant. She rarely hugs me anymore. She rarely kisses me anymore. The affection doesn’t seem to come naturally from her like it used to.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if I’m doing something wrong. Am I too available? Am I too affectionate? Can someone become less attracted to a partner who openly expresses love all the time?

Another thing that bothers me is that she often questions my decisions and doesn’t seem to trust my judgment the way she once did. I genuinely think about this a lot because I want to understand if I’ve done something that caused her to lose respect or trust in me.

What’s even more confusing is that whenever I become quieter, pull back a little, or stop giving as much attention, she suddenly becomes more affectionate and interested again.

Even our intimacy seems more passionate after I’ve been distant for a while compared to when I’m consistently warm and loving.

The problem is that this doesn’t feel healthy to me.

I don’t want to play emotional games. I don’t want to intentionally become cold or distant just to create attraction. I want to be genuine with the person I love.

So I’m asking the women here:

What could I be missing?

From a woman’s perspective, what are some reasons a wife might become emotionally distant even when she knows she’s loved?

Are there things men commonly overlook that affect emotional connection, attraction, or trust without realizing it?

I’d appreciate honest feedback, even if it’s something I might not want to hear.

We already talked but she comes with things that don’t make sense and I dont don’t do.

As-salamu alaykum,

I would really appreciate a woman’s perspective on something that has been weighing heavily on my mind.

I work full-time, while my wife is a homemaker. We’ve been living together for a little over a year. I take care of all the finances, paperwork, bills, and responsibilities outside the home. She takes care of the cooking and household chores. I do help around the house from time to time, although not as much as she does. This has never been a point of conflict between us, and she has never complained about it.

The thing that confuses me is the emotional distance that has gradually developed.

I constantly express my love for my wife. I tell her she’s beautiful. I tell her how much I miss her during the day and how excited I am to come home to her. I tell her she drives me crazy in the best way and that I am deeply in love with her.

In my mind, Allah blessed me with this beautiful woman. If I can’t tell my wife she’s beautiful, then who should I tell? If I can’t express my love to my wife, then to whom should I express it? Certainly not to women who are haram for me.

I’ve never intentionally made her feel unwanted, unattractive, or unloved. Quite the opposite—I try to reassure her of my love often.

Yet she rarely hugs me anymore. She rarely kisses me anymore. She feels distant.

Sometimes I wonder: am I doing too much? Can a husband be “too loving”? Does hearing loving words too often somehow make them lose their value?

Another issue is that she often questions my decisions and seems to have less trust in my judgment and leadership than before. This is something I think about a lot because I genuinely want to understand where I may have gone wrong.

What’s even more confusing is that whenever I become quieter, more distant, or stop giving as much attention, she suddenly becomes more affectionate and concerned. She comes closer again.

Even intimacy seems more passionate after I’ve been distant for a while compared to when I’m openly loving and affectionate.

But this doesn’t feel healthy to me.

I don’t want to play games. I don’t want to withhold affection from someone I love just to receive affection in return. I want to love my wife sincerely and openly.

So I’m asking the sisters here:

What could I be missing?

From a woman’s perspective, why might a wife become emotionally distant from a husband who is loving, affectionate, and committed?

Are there things men often overlook that could cause a woman to lose emotional connection or trust, even when she knows she is loved?

I talked to her but she don’t answer. She come with things as an excuses that I apparently do that is not true, so communication with her is also not possible. And she gets diffensive very fast.

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته،

لدي سؤال لإخوتي وأخواتي في المملكة العربية السعودية.

أنا شخص تركي، وأكنّ للشعب السعودي محبةً وتقديرًا كبيرين. أستمتع بالحديث مع السعوديين، وتكوين الصداقات معهم، والتعرّف على ثقافتهم وعاداتهم. وفي كل مرة ألتقي فيها بأشخاص من السعودية تكون تجربتي إيجابية وممتعة.

ومع ذلك، يراودني أحيانًا تساؤل: هل ما زالت هناك حساسية أو توتر بين الأتراك والسعوديين بسبب بعض الأحداث التاريخية أو المواقف السياسية؟ ربما أكون أبالغ في التفكير، ولذلك أود أن أسمع آراءكم بصراحة وموضوعية.

بوجه عام، ما هي نظرة السعوديين إلى الشعب التركي؟

وعندما يزور تركي المملكة العربية السعودية، سواءً إلى مكة المكرمة والمدينة المنورة أو إلى مدن أخرى مثل جدة أو الرياض أو أبها، كيف يُنظر إليه عادةً؟

هل تشعرون بالترحيب والارتياح عند التعرف على شخص تركي، أم أن هناك شيئًا من التحفّظ أو البعد بمجرد معرفة أنه من تركيا؟

أطرح هذا السؤال بكل احترام وصدق، لأنني أُكنّ للشعب السعودي مشاعر المودة والتقدير، وأرغب في فهم وجهة نظركم بشكل أفضل.

جزاكم الله خيرًا، وبارك الله فيكم.

Wife is emotional and I can’t get to her! HUSBAND needs advice

Hey guys hope you are all well and have an easy pregnancy.

I am a husband of a very good person.
I am still very new to woman psychology (sadly).

My wife is now arround week 7-8 and she is very emotional. But when I ask her what do you have she is non reactive and she don’t let me in to support her. She completly shuts down.

I know very selfish of me to think, but I see that as something is wrong with me. I mean why am I not able to comfort her I am her husband….

Some jealouse people slandered my name a few months ago saying I am a weak unstable person that I am scared and not really a man( they told her indirectly stories that make me look weak completly pulled out of context) and since than I feel a distance between us.

She don’t wanna communicate at all about this topic when I try to defend myself and also the reason why I am thinking like that is when she was crying she said that she regrets having the baby. ( she never told me that these stories that has been told to her bothered her but so she never made it a big deal but I felt her distance tbh. So I am confused)

Now I understand hormones go crazy. But her letting me not comfort her makes me feel like her sad feelings come from people slandering me and she got a turn off…

I am asking all woman is tha the case? Or could that be the case.
Nobody could know but just give an advice what I can do to help her

Wife is emotional and I can’t get to her! HUSBAND needs advice

Hey guys hope you are all well and have an easy pregnancy.

I am a husband of a very good person.
I am still very new to woman psychology (sadly).

My wife is now arround week 7-8 and she is very emotional. But when I ask her what do you have she is non reactive and she don’t let me in to support her. She completly shuts down.

I know very selfish of me to think, but I see that as something is wrong with me. I mean why am I not able to comfort her I am her husband….

Some jealouse people slandered my name a few months ago saying I am a weak unstable person that I am scared and not really a man( they told her indirectly stories that make me look weak completly pulled out of context) and since than I feel a distance between us.

She don’t wanna communicate at all about this topic when I try to defend myself and also the reason why I am thinking like that is when she was crying she said that she regrets having the baby. ( she never told me that these stories that has been told to her bothered her but so she never made it a big deal but I felt her distance tbh. So I am confused)

Now I understand hormones go crazy. But her letting me not comfort her makes me feel like her sad feelings come from people slandering me and she got a turn off…

I am asking all woman is tha the case? Or could that be the case.
Nobody could know but just give an advice what I can do to help her

Hey guys hope you are all well and have an easy pregnancy.

I am a husband of a very good person.
I am still very new to woman psychology (sadly).

My wife is now arround week 7-8 and she is very emotional. But when I ask her what do you have she is non reactive and she don’t let me in to support her. She completly shuts down.

I know very selfish of me to think, but I see that as something is wrong with me. I mean why am I not able to comfort her I am her husband….

Some jealouse people slandered my name a few months ago saying I am a weak unstable person that I am scared and not really a man( they told her indirectly stories that make me look weak completly pulled out of context) and since than I feel a distance between us.

She don’t wanna communicate at all about this topic when I try to defend myself and also the reason why I am thinking like that is when she was crying she said that she regrets having the baby. ( she never told me that these stories that has been told to her bothered her but so she never made it a big deal but I felt her distance tbh. So I am confused)

Now I understand hormones go crazy. But her letting me not comfort her makes me feel like her sad feelings come from people slandering me and she got a turn off…

I am asking all woman is tha the case? Or could that be the case.
Nobody could know but just give an advice what I can do to help her