u/External-Blood-4218

Today I realised that maybe I don’t just love people, maybe I love being loved.

I was watching a podcast and it genuinely felt like someone held a mirror in front of me. I’ve always been the “good guy” in relationships. I care deeply, I go out of my way for people, I make them feel special, understood, loved. And somewhere in that process they fall for me, we get into relationships, and I keep giving and giving until one day I realise I’m not receiving anything back.

Then I feel hurt. Unloved. Like I was never treated right.

But now I’m wondering how much of that cycle I unknowingly created myself.

Maybe some part of me was trying to earn love through how much I gave. Maybe I needed to feel needed. Maybe I kept overgiving hoping it would turn into the kind of love I wanted back.

And what’s messing with my head is that I always looked down on obvious manipulators or playboys because I thought “at least I genuinely love people.” But now I feel like people like me can be dangerous too in a different way, because we don’t even realise what we’re doing while doing it.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense. I’m still trying to process it honestly.

Today I realised that maybe I don’t just love people, maybe I love being loved.

I was watching a podcast and it genuinely felt like someone held a mirror in front of me. I’ve always been the “good guy” in relationships. I care deeply, I go out of my way for people, I make them feel special, understood, loved. And somewhere in that process they fall for me, we get into relationships, and I keep giving and giving until one day I realise I’m not receiving anything back.

Then I feel hurt. Unloved. Like I was never treated right.

But now I’m wondering how much of that cycle I unknowingly created myself.

Maybe some part of me was trying to earn love through how much I gave. Maybe I needed to feel needed. Maybe I kept overgiving hoping it would turn into the kind of love I wanted back.

And what’s messing with my head is that I always looked down on obvious manipulators or playboys because I thought “at least I genuinely love people.” But now I feel like people like me can be dangerous too in a different way, because we don’t even realise what we’re doing while doing it.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense. I’m still trying to process it honestly.