Edited: He ghosted me, and months later his other girlfriend accidentally exposed his double life

Edited!!

I’m still processing everything that happened yesterday honestly. My hands were shaking while writing this.

He pursued me first. Asked me to be his girlfriend. Looked me dead in the eye and asked if I was seeing anyone else while he was already talking to another girl.

We started talking around the end of summer and were official a couple months later. I genuinely thought it was real.

Then a few months in, everything changed. He lost his job, got distant, stopped texting as much, stopped showing up for me emotionally. I asked him directly if he wanted to break up and he said no.

Then one day I realized I had been blocked everywhere.

No conversation. No explanation. Just gone.

I never blocked him back because part of me kept waiting for an apology that never came.

Yesterday another girl messaged me.

At first I almost ignored it, but I’m really glad I didn’t.

She told me my name kept coming up and his stories about me weren’t making sense. Apparently she saw my username in his search history because he had been stalking my socials.

I thought maybe they got together after we ended.

Nope.

He had been dating both of us at the same time basically our entire relationship.

While he was telling me he was broke and stressed about money, he was paying for trips and dates with her constantly. Christmas lights in December. Galveston for Valentine’s Day. Miami after that. Never letting her spend money.

Meanwhile I was seeing him once a week after classes because I live an hour away from school and he lived closer to my hometown, so Thursdays made the most sense since I had less classes. Looking back now, I realized that was probably intentional too.

He basically scheduled me into one day a week so he could keep the rest of his time open.

And before people twist this, no, he didn’t force me to split costs with him. I believe in 50/50 and genuinely thought I was helping someone who was struggling after losing his job.

He did take me out too. But hearing how differently he treated both relationships definitely hurt.

It gets worse though.

He told her I was just some random girl from work.

He told me she was his female best friend.

He literally used pictures of us as cover stories for each other. We were basically each other’s alibis without even knowing it.

He faked being sick to stop me from coming over. One time I literally drove all the way near his neighborhood because I was worried about him and he called telling me not to come because he was “too sick” to see me.

I turned around and drove home.

Apparently he had multiple phones too. He used one to call me every single night while she existed.

The thing that honestly chills me the most is how much he used to talk about hating cheaters. He constantly judged his dad for cheating and talked about how badly it affected his family.

Meanwhile he was doing the exact same thing.

I’m honestly not angry at her. We talked for hours and compared stories. We were both being lied to by someone who got really good at manipulation.

I think what hurts the most is that I already grieved this relationship once. I already cried over it. Blamed myself for it. Started moving on.

Then I found out none of it was even real in the first place.

When we first started talking, I remember telling him the most important thing to me was trust.

Funny how that turned out.

I genuinely don’t even know how to process finding out someone was living an entirely different life behind my back.

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u/External-Climate5752 — 14 days ago
▲ 4 r/CheatedOn+2 crossposts

He ghosted me, and months later his other girlfriend accidentally exposed his double life

I thought my relationship ended months ago.

Turns out I was grieving something that was never even real.

I’m 22F, he’s 23M. When we first started dating, I genuinely thought I found someone kind, responsible, loving, all of it. Even when things started getting weird, I kept making excuses for him because I thought he was struggling.

A few months in, he started pulling away. Replies got shorter. Communication got inconsistent. He stopped showing up for me the way he used to. I asked him directly if he wanted to break up and he said no.

Then one day I realized I was blocked everywhere.

No explanation. Nothing.

It hurt badly, but eventually I started getting over it. I stopped looking for answers because I figured I was never going to get them anyway. I told myself some people are just cowards when it comes to ending relationships.

Then yesterday another girl messaged me.

She said my name kept coming up and his stories weren’t making sense. Apparently she saw my username in his search history because he’d been stalking my socials. I agreed to talk to her thinking maybe they got together after me or there was overlap near the end.

There wasn’t.

He had been dating both of us at the same time basically our entire relationship.

While I was seeing him once a week after classes, he was taking her on trips. For context, I live an hour away from my school and he lived closer to my hometown, so Thursdays were usually the easiest day for me to see him because I had less classes. I never thought anything of it at the time.

Meanwhile he was telling me he was broke, stressed about money, couldn’t afford anything especially  after he lost his job while apparently paying for everything for her. He did take me out to nice places but that's what they were. Nice

And before anyone twists this, no, he didn’t force me to split costs. I believe in 50/50 and I genuinely thought I was helping someone I cared about while he was struggling.

He told her I was just a random girl from work.

He told me she was his female best friend.

He literally used pictures of us as cover stories for each other.

And the more we talked, the worse it got.

Multiple phones. Fake excuses. Pretending to be sick so I wouldn’t come over. Entire lies built around keeping us from finding out about each other.

The craziest part is he constantly talked about how disgusting cheating was. Used to judge his own dad for cheating all the time.

Meanwhile he was doing the exact same thing.

Honestly I feel horrible for both of us. We were both being manipulated in completely different ways.

But I think the worst part is that I had already grieved this relationship once. I already cried over it. Already blamed myself. Already started moving on.

Then I found out none of it was real in the first place.

When we first started talking, I remember telling him the most important thing to me was trust.

Funny how that worked out.

So genuinely, what would you do?

Expose him or just move on and let life deal with him?

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u/External-Climate5752 — 14 days ago
▲ 3 r/u_External-Climate5752+1 crossposts

His girlfriend slid into my DMs yesterday and accidentally gave me the closure I never got

22F

So this just happened yesterday and I need to get it off my chest. We started talking end of August. By October we were official. I actually really liked him. Things felt real. Then February came and he lost his job. After that everything changed. He got distant, stressed, stopped communicating. I asked him directly if he wanted to break up and he said no. But he kept pulling away anyway. Stopped replying to my texts. Then in the first week of March I went to check on him and realized I'd been blocked. No explanation. Nothing.

The last time we actually saw each other was on my birthday. In February. Make it make sense. I never blocked him back because I was hoping for an apology. Silly me.

Then yesterday — Memorial Day — his girlfriend slides into my DMs. She's seeing my name pop up in his messages and says there are too many holes in his story. Turns out he started talking to her in December. We were still together in December. And the kicker? He used to call his own father a scumbag for cheating. Told me that himself. I'm not even mad at her. We had a real conversation, she got her answers, I got my closure. But I still feel so deceived. Like what was even real between us? Anyway. That's it. That's the post. 💜

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u/External-Climate5752 — 15 days ago