u/ExternalSomewhere923

I have a 98th percentile baby and will be going on a 14 hour flight so bought my baby his own seat. This forfeits my right to the bassinet but the limit on the airline im travelling is 10kg and hes almost 9kg already with 3 months to go. He should be able to sit up by then by Im wondering if its worth getting the bedbox just to be able to lay him down on the seat for naps? Welcome any tips or alternative recommendations!!!

They say on the one hand it's the easy way out, on the other hand recovery is soo much harder, you can't win. A lot of us didn't plan the C section, a lot of us tried vaginal for hours before having no choice but to move to emergency, and some just wanted to have a C section over vaginal. I had an unplanned C section but it wasnt an emergency and my recovery was excellent. My scar is tiny and my recovery/pain was so much better than I could have imagined. Conversely my friend who have birth around the same time still has a sore vagina and half hobbles around. There are risks with EVERY kind of birth. Some go excellent some go crap. Some C sections are awful a lot are great. It doesn't matter how you did it. The whole 'trust your body' stuff is crap because if we did that a lot more of us would be dead. Then when you say this they'll say you have some unresolved guilt or insecurity over how you gave birth lol.

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I think it's just crap the way people talk about other peoples birth experiences.

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Vent over.

Does anyone else feel like their legs are going to collapse or theyre suddenly going to pass out when they babywear? I've never passed out in my life, I'm fit and healthy, exercise 5 times a week, but whenever I wear baby suddenly I'm feeling anxious andlike my legs are going to give in and I'm going to drop my LO. So I end up giving up and going home. Oddly I don't feel like that if I'm carrying LO while pushing the stroller.

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So I want to ask women on here who exercised throughout, how was your babys temperament?

To start, my baby is quite chill. I ran (or like fast walked) until 37 weeks and kept active throughout.

EDIT: I'm reframing as some people seem to have been offended by the question. I'm not saying the research is true, Im saying I saw ONE piece of research that suggested that so I am asking this FIT PREGNANCY thread what their personal experiences have been. I'm not advocating for anything or saying the research is factual. I am simply asking for experiences. End!

Just seen how tunis was destroyed 5-1.

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Is this also our fate against argentina 🥲

I've lost 11lbs these last 6 weeks through diet and exercise.

Ive been very strict and very disciplined.

But today, I'm ordered fried chicken and I'm going to enjoy it.

If you're wondering if you should treat yourself today, DO IT. We deserve it!

I had to have an unplanned (but not emergency) C-section last week and I feel so sad and upset like I almost lost my baby through my own lack of standing up for myself.

For the last few weeks my baby kept failing our first attempt at the NST. Her heartbeat was strong but she wasnt recording active response(?) On it. The doctor would make me drink something walk around and try it again and then she would just about pass it so I could go home. When I was at home I was feeling reduced movement and like my neck felt suffocated and I texted the OB and they told me to track movements within 2 hours and she just started moving after 90 minutes so again we moved on from it. I went in the doctor at 39 weeks for my normal catch up and then NST test again failed on the first try. They tried to tell me at first ooo baby is probably just the type who only moves at night! And i said but Im telling you I dont feel her much at night either! Then after the failed NST again I said I feel worried, so the nurse arranged for an ultrasound. Baby barely moved at all, and they found out I had placental insufficiency and that the cord was gathered under the babies head which was preventing her from going lower. The doctor recommended I have a C section that day as its a situation that can quickly turn into fetal distress. I went in for my C section 3 hours later and my baby came out healthy and crying.

I keep running my mind over what happened and feel like if I hadn't pushed that day could my baby have died? I feel like I played so finely with my babies life despite feeling for the past week like something was wrong. I keep imaginging the worst could have happened. I hate myself and feel so sorry to my baby.

It makes me uncomfortable but I dont know why it does and I can't seem to articulate it to myself. She was totally useless while I was pregnant, and when I gave birth kept wanting to come round then asked us to leave the apartment to look after the baby alone. I was exhausted but did anyway. Since then she doesn't actually make any effort to be of use, but will call my husband and ask if she can come and look after the baby alone while we go out 'on a date'. My friends say its really sweet of her and she's trying to be helpful. Why does it make me so uncomfortable :( My baby is 9 weeks.

EDIT: On pregnancy, I dont have my parents (they both passed away when young) so she keeps telling me to see her as my mother and also demands the same responsibilities from me (I cook and clean when at theirs, I have to call her twice a week, etc). But when I was pregnant all she did was keep up her expectations but not help me at all. Shed offer to cook and send it to me and when Id accept she just wouldnt do it. I was unwell at the end of my pregnancy and ended up having an unplanned C section too and she never offered to come and help then either.

Also, she explicitly says she cant help with cooking or cleaning when she takes care of the baby but she can JUST look after the baby! (We never asked or mentioned cooking/cleaning but she explicitly mentioned). Our baby was also in NICU the first few weeks and we needed a lot of help but she kept offering to come down then when Id say yes please we are strugglig she just never came. But now LO is out she wants to.come down and see her alone all the time.

I had a C section 3 months ago and I am so fat right now compared to pre pregnancy but nearly every single plan or advice on losing weight PP is ALL about milk supply! And how the breastfeeding affects the process etc etc. I just want to know how to do it postpartum as someone NOT breastfeeding, but I can't find anything on it at all!

We currently live in Japan, which is a very conservative and traditional culture, particularly around divorce and remarriage. Ideas are changing, but it's a slow process. Here if you get remarried, the custom is you are throwing away your first family. Its not common for families to 'mix'. My husband is divorced Japanese and has two kids from his ex-wife. They divorced after she broke his finger arguing with him after years of not getting along. He is a lovely person and my soulmate and weve been together 5 years.

I first met his kids a few years ago and weve met every couple months together since then. When we meet they are lovely to me, we hold hands and we play games together and have a nice time. But when they go home they get very cold and no contact and we kind of just assumed they were being cautious of their mother who they live with.

I got pregnant and it was important to us that we kept trying to maintain a relationship with the kids so that our daughter could have her brother and sister in her life. I also didnt want my husband to have the trauma of having no contact with his kids. The kids cried when they found out but we hung out a bunch after and they were fine and seemed to be accustomed to it (even asking to see ultrasounds etc).

Since we gave birth however, his ex wife created a line account and has been posting non stop. Her husband cheated on her with me apparently (we met 4 years after their divorce), and she even uploads screenshots of him texting their son trying to meet up. She said she will never accept a 'half' sibling. She uploads that she has been abandoned and her husband has remarried and had another baby. She sent my husband a long message saying if you introduce our kids to your baby I'll sue you for emotional harm. Our baby was in NICU the first few weeks and my husband sent the kids a pic and they just ignored it.

I dont know what to do. My husband also seems flustered. We think the kids are curious about their brother but clearly their mother is forbidding all contact or interest.

My husband also in true Japanese fashion just thinks this is all his fault and feels he has done a lifelong wrong to his children by divorcing so feels there is little he can do.

I don't know why Im uploading this but I guess any advice or to hear from others who have been through something similar..

I'm flying virgin atlantic for 12 hours and its their Boeing 787 but the plane is over 10 years old and I'm scared od the 787 after the Air India crash 😭

Which would you recommend? For a 15 hour flight I can get two premium economy seats and so we'd have the row to ourselves and I can put her in a car seat (shes quite a big baby so would be too heavy for the bassinet anyway..) or I can get one business class seat and she'd be in my lap.

Which is better?

I just can’t help feeling like breastfeeding was the main reason the newborn phase felt so overwhelming and miserable for me.

The constant screaming, trying to increase low supply, being the only one who could really feed him, waking up for every single feed, stressing over whether something in my diet was upsetting his stomach, the gas, the spit-up… I felt like I was constantly exhausted and anxious.

And because I was breastfeeding, there was only so much help my husband could realistically give. I never properly slept because I always had to be “on.”

I switched to formula a few weeks in and honestly the difference was night and day. I sleep now because my husband can do shifts with me. I can eat what I want without playing detective trying to figure out which food is supposedly making my baby uncomfortable. I’m not forcing him to stay on the boob when he clearly doesn’t want to anymore. Also so many recent studies show there are almost no differences at all between BF and FF babies..

He barely cries now. He eats until he’s full and sleeps longer stretches. The whole atmosphere in our house feels calmer.

I really did try my best with breastfeeding, and I know it works beautifully for some people, but for me it made early motherhood feel so hard. Since switching, I finally feel like I’m actually enjoying my baby and the newborn phase instead of just surviving it.

Can anyone else relate?

I'm dating this guy for a year now and he just told me yesterday that one time when he was in the military him and his friends went to one of those massage shops where you pay 40,000 for a first time experience or something. He said it was really normal back then and he just did it once and for korean guys in the army at that time it wasnt a big deal. Is that true...?

EDIT: He's 46 yrs old and so far v normal lol

The scale just isnt moving at all and I'm so confused as to why! I'm in calorie deficit walking i sleep well I don't understand im so fat right now same weight as 40 weeks pregnant :( i had a c section

When did you start again?? How did you start again??? INSPIRE ME THANK YOU

I’m so tired of seeing moms who are clearly drowning, exhausted, running on fumes, doing childcare 24/7… and then defending absent husbands with “to be fair, he has work.”

Girl. Work is not the same thing. And I say this as someone who’s worked since I was 16. Part-time jobs, full-time jobs, graduated college, built a serious career, and I’m currently on maternity leave from that career.

Going to work for 8-12 hours a day? Leaving the house? Speaking to adults? Having a lunch break? Finishing a shift and clocking out? That is not comparable to being responsible for a baby every second of every day and night.

I would LOVE to go to work for 8 hours and leave my baby with someone I fully trust for free with zero guilt attached.

Childcare is relentless. There’s no commute home. No uninterrupted lunch. No “switching off.” And most moms are doing it while sleep deprived and recovering physically too.

So no, a husband working a job does not mean his responsibilities end when he walks through the door. You’ve been working too except your shift started overnight and never ended.

When he gets home, he should be parenting. Helping. Taking over. Picking up a shift. And unless you’re exclusively breastfeeding, yes, that should include nights too. The moment you both agreed to make a baby sleep deprivation was part of the package you BOTH signed up to. Not just you. Who thinks when they have a newborn they should be able to sleep through the night lol?

A lot of women aren’t struggling because motherhood itself is impossible. They’re struggling because they’re basically solo parenting in a marriage while being told their husband “works hard.” I don't know how I'd have managed these first three months if my husband used his job as an excuse not to help.

So can we please stop romanticizing women burning themselves into the ground while men get applauded for going to work?

I’m so tired of seeing moms who are clearly drowning, exhausted, running on fumes, doing childcare 24/7… and then defending absent husbands with “to be fair, he has work.”

Girl. Work is not the same thing. And I say this as someone who’s worked since I was 16. Part-time jobs, full-time jobs, graduated college, built a serious career, and I’m currently on maternity leave from that career.

Going to work for 8-12 hours a day? Leaving the house? Speaking to adults? Having a lunch break? Finishing a shift and clocking out? That is not comparable to being responsible for a baby every second of every day and night.

I would LOVE to go to work for 8 hours and leave my baby with someone I fully trust for free with zero guilt attached.

Childcare is relentless. There’s no commute home. No uninterrupted lunch. No “switching off.” And most moms are doing it while sleep deprived and recovering physically too.

So no, a husband working a job does not mean his responsibilities end when he walks through the door. You’ve been working too except your shift started overnight and never ended.

When he gets home, he should be parenting. Helping. Taking over. Picking up a shift. And unless you’re exclusively breastfeeding, yes, that should include nights too. The moment you agreed to a make a baby shared sleep deprivation was part of the package and you both signed up for it, not just you.

A lot of women aren’t struggling because motherhood itself is impossible. They’re struggling because they’re basically solo parenting in a marriage while being told their husband “works hard.” If I didn't have my husband take the baby off me as soon as he got home or do a night shift etc I don't know how I'd handle it.

So can we please stop romanticizing women burning themselves into the ground while men get applauded for going to work?