u/Familiar-Gur-1903

For as long as I can remember, I don't think I've ever submitted a task on time. I've always had to ask for extensions, and even then I struggle to finish. To this day, I still can't understand why this happens.

My psychiatrist says it isn't because of ADHD and believes it's more of a perfectionism issue. But today the shame and guilt have completely overwhelmed me.

I lost my job three months ago. My previous job was fully remote. I was incredibly lucky that my team was so patient with me and tolerated my missed deadlines for a long time. Eventually, though, I was laid off.

For the past two months, I've been interviewing for new jobs. Many companies have given me assignments to evaluate my skills. Every single time, I struggle to even start. I ask for more time, and then I still can't get myself to do it.

One company was kind enough to give me an extension. Today is the final deadline, and I still haven't started.

I've probably emailed more than 10 companies saying I couldn't complete the assignment because I "need to learn more." The truth is, I do feel like I need to learn more but then I can't even start learning. After that, I apply for another job, and the whole cycle repeats.

I'm also wondering if working from home is making things worse for me. Should I stop looking for remote jobs and try working onsite instead? Maybe having a structured environment would help me get started on things. But right now, I can't even get myself to learn the skills I need or finish these assignments.

It feels like I'm stuck in an endless loop.

Can anyone else relate to this? Especially the part where you genuinely believe you'll get it done, so you tell people you will but then you fail again. It's not that I'm intentionally lying. I truly mean it every time, and that's what hurts the most.

Has anyone been through something similar? Did switching from remote work to onsite make any difference with task initiation or procrastination?