u/Fancy_Box_5773

So I recently got a personal trainer and he made a meal plan for me and the total calories were 1400 a day with 100 grams of protein. Right now I’m doing 1200 cals with 100 grams of protein and I feel good and not hungry at all. I’m 5ft.

I hate my body and how I look. I struggled with an eating disorder from age 15-21 and I stopped after I had my children because I wanted to healthy for them. Now I’m going through a lot of traumatic experiences and I feel myself slipping back into restrictive eating and it comforts me in a way.

I don’t like myself or how look. Or how desperate I am to be liked or loved. I’m a very unlikable person and I have no friends. People alway assume the worst of me for some reason which hurts. I’ve been restricting myself a lot this week and counting every single calorie I’ve been eating.

It comforts me in a sick way. The thought of slowly dying vs outright taking my life makes me feel less selfish. I’m fat anyways so skipping a few meals won’t matter. So far I’ve eaten 467 calories today and I think I’m going to stop there. I don’t feel hungry or have much of an appetite so I don’t even see the point in making myself eat anymore.

Not really asking a question I just wanted to talk to someone about it since I have no one I can trust to talk about it with.

I’m going to try to keep it brief but if you look at all of my other post you will have a better idea on what I’m dealing with. Anyways we have been together for 8 years and have 2 children. We are currently going through a divorce which is something I wanted and he also did something to be that’s unforgivable.

Long story short I called the cops on him because he was being a jerk a threatening to break my MacBook Pro and I just want him to give it back to me. I wasn’t trying to get him in trouble at all I just wanted my property back because I didn’t want him reading my text messages anymore because I was communicating with family about leaving him. He was treating me like garbage and I wanted out of the marriage.

Anyways he put a bruise on his neck and said I strangled him with one hand which would be impossible because I’m 4’11 maybe 5ft at the most and he’s 6’2 and almost 300 pounds. Not only that I but have tiny hands and he has a rather large neck. Anyways the police get here and I end up getting arrested because of what he told them. It’s been over 2 months and I have not even been able to talk to or see my children.

He’s requesting child support and alimony because I make more than him and he doesn’t like to work. This whole situation has been a nightmare and I ended up in the hospital thinking I was having a heart attack but it was only a panic attack. I’m not doing well mentally at all. I desperately miss my children.

Anyways so far things are going in my favor which I’m happy about because his story is so outlandish and I don’t think the judge believed a word he said. Anyways after all of that and all the horrible things he’s done to me in past including cheating, treating me like crap, cursing at me, and being abusive I’m still sad our marriage is ending. I wish he treated me with respect and actually loved me but the truth is he never did. It was all lust and never love with him.

It sucks for me because I truly loved and cared about him for whatever reason. I feel like such a loser. I need to figure out how to stop being so depressed and stop mourning the thought of what we could have been because I knew he was never going to change or put effort into this marriage.

I just need to get my mind of things. I’m not sure what to do. All I want to do is lay in bed and cry.

Please read my other post so you can get a better look at the situation. Saturday morning my husband comes to me asking me to sign a document stating I can’t change my paycheck to be deposited into my own account ( it use to go into his account) I can’t lie or make false accusations against him (he saw my text messages I sent a coworker venting about him) and that I can’t put hands on him (I’ve never put hands on him and I’m only 5ft and he’s 6ft and intimidates me). I told him I will not sign the document because the information on there is not true and I don’t agree with it. He said if I don’t sign it something bad will happen and I will regret it.

Anyways we get into a verbal argument. No yelling on my part. He told me he will smash my computer and MacBook if I keep talking about him. I get up out of bed and go to get my MacBook and he grabs it first. So I am following him around the apartment asking him to give it to me. I then told him I’m going to call the cops on him. I have the cops on the phone and I’m explaining the situation to them. He goes and grabs what I think is a knife from the kitchen drawer. I’m thinking he’s goes to do something to me so I let the police know.

He then goes into the bedroom out of my eye sight and gets his shoes and car keys like he’s trying to leave and I inform the police. He then goes on the balcony and makes his own police call after I made one myself. I can’t hear what he’s saying because I’m in the living room. The police get here and he goes outside and I’m in the house explaining my side of the situation. They asked if we got physical and I said no it was just a verbal argument and I called because he treated to smash my personal items.

Anyways they say he had a bruise and scratch on his neck and ask me if I did it which I said no why would I put my hands on him he is much bigger than me. Then they ask me some questions. Anyways long story short they tell me to come outside and they arrest me. I’m calm but also shocked and confused because I never did anything to him. I got to jail and get bailed out the next morning.

Anyways I go grab my things and I grabbed the iPads I paid for. On one of the iPads it had a picture of a clearly fake bruise on his neck. It looks like it was done with liquid blush which I did have my make up on the counter. I also see scratches on the inside of his arm and they look like they were done with a knife but he told them i scratched him.

I live in Florida and he’s currently keeping my kids away from me and trying to get alimony and child support and also take them out of the state. How can I prove my innocence and get my children back? My parents are willing to get me a good lawyer and fight this

We both work from home and currently I’m watching our 3 year old during the day while I work and he makes quite a bit of noise. I try to tell him to be quiet but he’s only quiet for so long. This issue is I was reached out too about a job opportunity within my company. I will be training new hires in the summer then in the fall and spring I will be a supervisor.

I will be going over PowerPoints and systems with the class and I will also be on camera and I think it would be unprofessional to have children making noise in the background (I also have a 7 year old that will be home for the summer). It will also be hard to step away and get snacks and juices or help them with what ever they need. I also think they need attention which I will not be able to give them for 8 hours.

I asked my husband if we can get child care just for the summer because in the fall my 3 year old will start vpk. He got angry and said no we don’t need that. I then asked if maybe his parents can watch the kids for a little bit since they are retired and he called me stupid and said that we shouldn’t be relying on others to help us and we need to figure out ourselves. I asked him if he can watch the kids then since he dosent want to get child care and he gets mad.

I need to figure out how I can get him on board with child care. I will only need someone to come and watch them for a couple hours a week for 5 days.
I don’t understand what the big deal is. Advice please!!

Edit: I decided I want a divorce. I made a nice breakfast for him this morning and got him dinner and beer and he still treated me like crap today. He even yelled at me because I got blue frosting instead of white frosting for the cake I made for my kids not him. I’m posting the link of him yelling at me over cake frosting so you guys can understand what I’m dealing with. https://voca.ro/1hpN7MZRlqdX

My husband 48M and I 30F have been together for 8 years and have 2 small children. We both have full time wfh jobs and I take care of our 3 year old while I work so we save on daycare expenses. My husband’s job is very flexible so he’s able to take off a lot but most of the time it’s unpaid time off. He has been doing this for the last year and a half and it is effecting us financially.

He will say he’s tired or that his back hurts but then I will see him on his gaming system playing video games for hours while he ignores me and the children. I mentioned me getting a second job but he gets mad at me and tells me we don’t need it. We are often late on rent and I have to ask my parents and sister for money to buy groceries. My paycheck goes into his account which I have no access foo and he uses it to pay his bills only.

I told him we should move back closer to my family so they can help with kids while I go back to school and get a second job but he gets angry when I mention that because he Dosent like how my family calls him out on how he treats me.

I’m emotionally drained and it’s effecting my mental health. I have so much financial stress. I told my family I want a divorce but they advise against it and that I need to talk to his parents. I’ve talked to his mother before and he lied and told her everything is fine.

I need to have a serious talk with him but I’m not sure how to do it without him getting upset with me. Any advice?