u/FarCorner5035

I’m asking for breakfast lunch and snacks not for dinner because my mom already cooks for the family and I’m willing to cut on other meals cause her food is amazing.

So I’m a severe obese teen. And by that I mean I’m 100 pounds over the weight that I’m currently supposed to be. I’m not developing anymore height wise. And recently I’ve got inspiration to lose weight and become healthier.

My family is pretty middle class, so I’d prefer meals that were under 6$ but if it’s a little over that’s fine just as long as the ingredients are readily available.

Right now I’m thinking maybe a maintenance period is better currently and then maybe deficit in a few months after my calories are back to about the same. They’ve been awfully spotty lately, one day could be 1800 calories while the next it goes to 2400. Right now I think I just need to focus on being healthy rather than counting numbers.

Any help is appreciated!

So, I’ve tried the whole calorie counting thing. Tried chopping my maintenance by 500 and it eeems very hard to stick to. I understand weight loss ain’t no easy path, and whining about the failures might make it seem harder, but I’ve been counting calories for a non stop two months and absolutely nothing has changed. I have stop drinking sodas and every drink over 100 calories just about. I have chose healthier breakfast options and tried for lunch but honestly sometimes it feels exhausting trying to change my lifestyle this drastically.

I should give a bit of context, I’m fourteen, 5”6 and 244 pounds. About double the weight I’m supposed to be, and it’s hard to think about one moment I’ve had where I thought I looked good. Thus why I’m making this decision to lose weight. And it isn’t an easy one. Just about everyone in my family is obese besides my grandparents are a healthy weight, and they have a past of being obese as well.

I cut my calories by 500 calories about two months ago. And I’d say for a good half of that time I was acruallly sticking to it and every time I did I felt wonderful. The problem has been, every single time I go over 1800 (my daily limit) even if it’s just 1900 it still gives my mind the go ahead to have an all out binge and say “screw it, it’s what everyone else is eating” and now I feel horrible about myself. How do I recover and get back to weight loss and approach it in a healthier way?

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So, I’m in my mid teens, and just like any other teen, I love sweets. The problem with me is, I don’t exercise enough to combat with these extra calories so, over the last good few years (4-6 if I had to guess) I’ve gained so much weight. It’s embarrassing to admit but I’m severely obese. I’m supposed to be closer to 120-140 pounds but instead, I’m 244. This is the first year I’ve tried to genuinely look up stuff and see what I’m supposed to be doing in order to lose all that extra weight.

Before, I tried to do way to much In way too short of time and ended up with a ed. Which is resolved now and I don’t wanna linger on too much being that my head isn’t like that anymore.

I don’t think I’ve ever been a normal weight in my life. My family has always been on the more overweight side than anything and has always filled my plate up to the brim and, until I had the internet and could properly function on it that was always the norm. I wasn’t insecure and I didn’t see myself different from every other person on this earth.

I don’t wanna be practicing unsafe weight loss, I want to be doing it in a safe way that isn’t going to get me burnt out and back to square one. I’ve been insecure for years and I’m so sick of it. And even though I’m really ready for the weight to be off, I’m very much willing to do it in a safe and timely manner.

I haven’t noticed any physical weight loss yet but granted, I’ve only been doing this for a few weeks and I’m not expecting immediate results. I’ve created a 500 cal deficit bc that’s what works for me. Well, until now.

Recently, Ive had trouble with food discipline. My end goal is weight loss, not healthiness. So I allow myself to eat unhealthy foods as long as it’s in my budget. I count calories and recently, even though it’s starting t get a little out of hand I still count them. I’ve steadily been going more over and over, until I’m at maintenance calories for a day or two and then being slightly over my calorie limit or slightly under.

Today was by far my worst, I went 500 over maintenance instead of 500 under. Which wouldn’t be bad if at the end of the day Id hadn’t seen all the people saying “well, it’s okay as long as it’s just for one day or two” but, well, lets just say it’s been a lot more than a day or two. And now I just feel frustrated with myself. Sugary drinks have never been a problem for me as I have plenty of sugar free or light sugar alternatives that, in my opinion, taste just as good if not better than the original.

How do I manage this? Without giving up on weight loss?

I have a very open mind when it comes to music and I would like to expand on that openness even more.

I already am minor-ly obsessed with LE SSERAFIM and ILLIT at the moment so I know a LITTLE bit, not much at all tho being that there are so many groups when it comes to K-pop. The only requirements I have are that it’s not boy groups, I just can’t vibe with pop made by men in general, I don’t know what it is but I always seem to gravitate towards girl groups a lot more. And my second requirement is that is not Blackpink. I already know like ten songs and I only have really liked one-two.

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So I’m on a 500 cal deficit. It has been very sustainable for me and I enjoy it. It makes me feel like I’m finally doing something right.

So when I’m calorie counting ( I use a manual calculator for this. Just adding everytime I eat something ) I only count anything that’s feasible. (Eg. I don’t count sips of my friends drinks as a small sample or taking a small bite for example a piece of pizza that isn’t mine to see if I want to eat a slice of said pizza (if I like it I’ll eat a slice and count it in my calories)) is this okay or am I doing something wrong?

So, I’m in my mid-teens. And my family doesn’t take frequent vacations. And by that I mean we never take any vacations any of the time. Like we might go out to a hotel to spend three nights in a town that’s about 1hr-2hrs from home once a year, but that’s it. No going to special places in town we’ve never been,nothing. And I know it’s not my parents fault. They work retail and are lucky to get two days off per week so I don’t blame them. I just can’t help but feel a little upset I’m never going anywhere special, never doing anything out of normal routines. Taking care of the pets, washing the dishes, just household chores.

I used to go to the grocery store once a week but even that has become less frequent as of lately. Since my mother can pay a Walmart delivery driver to bring it to home, we have to go to the store less often. Which, may be a stress off her but it’s a little sad for me. Sure, I may be a little dramatic, but I just hate staying home. I’m also homeschooled, which means now I’m barely socializing and yes, I sometimes can hate interacting with strangers but it’s better than lounging around the house doing nothing. Nowadays I feel lucky to go to the local dollar general that is five mins from home. But even that has become the normal so much it doesn’t even feel special, just like routine. I have felt so bored lately. I’m not good at gaming and I feel like a burden to be let on one of the games I wanna play because I suck so bad I feel like it’s not even funny anymore. Watching movies is fun with my sister and her boyfriend and I feel like that’s one of the only things that bring me joy, along with drawing occasionally and I love crocheting, but none of these things are what i actually want to do. I just wanna go somewhere and do something that’s out of the usual, something we usually don’t do like going to the ice cream shop in town or going to the park. I know my mother and father are happy to be home for the day after work or happy that they finally get a day off and just wanna clean the house or chill at home, but I can’t help but feel depressed that I’m never leaving, and when I am, it’s the littlest of amount of time it barely even matters.

I am fully aware I have bulimia or some other similar ed. After thinking and rethinking it so many times bc on other posts I have said that I am anorexic because I fear I am desperate to be worse than I am. (Not to say that bulimia isn’t as serious as anorexia, it is. That’s just my silly hellscape of a mind trying to tell me that one is more important than the other)

Late in the night or evening, I can convince myself I’m going to be better, that I am going to eat three full meals and have enough nutrients for my body to stay living. While in the morning, I fully ignore the vows I made to myself and ignore the thought of eating until I get so sick and nauseous I can’t take it. I usually skip breakfast and snack a bit for lunch. Then, usually after 3-4 in the afternoon, I convince myself it’s okay to eat (which it is, but not the amount of times I say it to myself) and it’s usually a bag of candy, or an ice cream cone or a high calorie variant of sweet. Then I eat dinner, and after dinner all my plans of starving myself until I become a twig come crashing down and I end up binging on sodas, cake, chips, basically any junk food.

See, what I have are cycles. Routines that I have memorized perfectly. First is eating without thinking. If I want to eat it, I do, if I don’t, I don’t. Simple but not efficient for healthy weight loss (which is, ultimately, what would probably get rid of this whole problem as an obese teen girl raised around obese adults) secondly, I eat with intent, less than I should and justifying it in my mind by saying it’s what’s going to make me look prettier. That amount gets less and less until it becomes more and more, except the more is more junk food,which is why I don’t lose any weight. Then I start purging, exercising excessively, throwing it back up when I claim I’m taking a shower. Then I’m in the middle, where half the day is fasting and the other half is binging. Which is the part of the cycle I’m in now. Then, after a few weeks of this, I get motivated one day and end up eating healthier. And by healthy, I mean like whole foods, Greek yogurt, boiled eggs and other genuinely healthy. Which is my favorite part of the cycle, I feel great, my body feels great. Everything. Then I end up eating more junk food and slowly getting back to the beginning of the cycle.

I just want to be better. I’m sick of feeling this way but I can’t stop thinking about “the perfect body” or anything about the way I look and how I wish I did. I’m scared to death of disappointing my family. My parents are already in a bad financial situation after my father got fired a month ago so not only do I not want to give them another stress in life currently, but also I don’t want my mother to feel like she has to get me in therapy when there are bills that need to be paid and pets to be fed and family members to have full stomachs. I just don’t want to be a burden but I also can’t help but be a little sick of the silence.

I am fully aware I have bulimia or some other similar ed. After thinking and rethinking it so many times bc on other posts I have said that I am anorexic because I fear I am desperate to be worse than I am. (Not to say that bulimia isn’t as serious as anorexia, it is. That’s just my silly hellscape of a mind trying to tell me that one is more important than the other)

Late in the night or evening, I can convince myself I’m going to be better, that I am going to eat three full meals and have enough nutrients for my body to stay living. While in the morning, I fully ignore the vows I made to myself and ignore the thought of eating until I get so sick and nauseous I can’t take it. I usually skip breakfast and snack a bit for lunch. Then, usually after 3-4 in the afternoon, I convince myself it’s okay to eat (which it is, but not the amount of times I say it to myself) and it’s usually a bag of candy, or an ice cream cone or a high calorie variant of sweet. Then I eat dinner, and after dinner all my plans of starving myself until I become a twig come crashing down and I end up binging on sodas, cake, chips, basically any junk food.

See, what I have are cycles. Routines that I have memorized perfectly. First is eating without thinking. If I want to eat it, I do, if I don’t, I don’t. Simple but not efficient for healthy weight loss (which is, ultimately, what would probably get rid of this whole problem as an obese teen girl raised around obese adults) secondly, I eat with intent, less than I should and justifying it in my mind by saying it’s what’s going to make me look prettier. That amount gets less and less until it becomes more and more, except the more is more junk food,which is why I don’t lose any weight. Then I start purging, exercising excessively, throwing it back up when I claim I’m taking a shower. Then I’m in the middle, where half the day is fasting and the other half is binging. Which is the part of the cycle I’m in now. Then, after a few weeks of this, I get motivated one day and end up eating healthier. And by healthy, I mean like whole foods, Greek yogurt, boiled eggs and other genuinely healthy. Which is my favorite part of the cycle, I feel great, my body feels great. Everything. Then I end up eating more junk food and slowly getting back to the beginning of the cycle.

I just want to be better. I’m sick of feeling this way but I can’t stop thinking about “the perfect body” or anything about the way I look and how I wish I did. I’m scared to death of disappointing my family. My parents are already in a bad financial situation after my father got fired a month ago so not only do I not want to give them another stress in life currently, but also I don’t want my mother to feel like she has to get me in therapy when there are bills that need to be paid and pets to be fed and family members to have full stomachs. I just don’t want to be a burden but I also can’t help but be a little sick of the silence.

Yesterday I binged on whatever sounded good at whatever time. I felt so full. So heavy. And yet I still ate dinner like a greedy pig.

I look in the mirror and I’m disappointed I don’t look how I did before I started eating again. Even if it may be barely noticeable to the people around me, I still mourn the body I had before. Right now, I’m thinking how my chubby chin looks pressed against my chest as I’m looking down at my phone, writing this post.

I feel ugly, unloved and most definitely fat. I feel the need to skip every other type of food for today and give myself a fast, though that won’t help. Because then, I’ll have the problem of being so hungry that I’ll binge again. It’s always an on and off battle of that. I want to get better. But I’m humiliated to admit that I binge along with fasting. I wish I only fasted. Then maybe I’d be more pressed to tell people.

Or maybe I can hold down a fast for today. I can make myself feel lighter again. I want to eat a normal amount. I don’t want it to be either too much or not enough.

I am heavily overweight. I grew up very insecure about it so now I have this silly little disorder that doesnt seem to care I don’t want to binge at all.

I also have seemed to have no appetite as of recently. It’s just the simple fact of eating that either seems like the most challenging or most easy thing in the world. I want help, but my mind makes me fear I haven’t struggled long enough to even be considered as what I think is bulimic.