u/Far_Prize_3906

So, I’m entering 4th year this June and my friends and I have talked about being an active member of the college since we’re the type that we just attend school, pasok sa duty, umuwi, repeat.

My friends said that it will make our resume look good. They’re planning to join the student council and the media. They’re going to apply for the clubs as well. Since it’s our last year, I agree that we should make the most out of our college life since reviewing for the PNLE will take up most of our time. However, I believe that joining the student council, university sports day, and other activities outside classroom/hospital setting might burn me out because I’m already tired with duties. But if it really does matter and nakaka “spice up” ng resume, I’d sacrifice that to make me look more qualifying.

Thank you in advance for your insights 😓

So, I’m entering 4th year this June and my friends and I have talked about being an active member of the college since we’re the type that we just attend school, pasok sa duty, umuwi, repeat.

My friends said that it will make our resume look good. They’re planning to join the student council and the media. They’re going to apply for the clubs as well. Since it’s our last year, I agree that we should make the most out of our college life since reviewing for the PNLE will take up most of our time. However, I believe that joining the student council, university sports day, and other activities outside classroom/hospital setting might burn me out because I’m already tired with duties. But if it really does matter and nakaka “spice up” ng resume, I’d sacrifice that to make me look more qualifying.

Thank you in advance for your insights 😓

Problem/Goal: how do i tell my boyfriend that we should workout and be physically active?

Context:
since college pa lang kami ni bf, both of us have been using our free time to do what makes us both comfortable and relaxed—gaming. we met and clicked because we both like playing games. palagi kaming nasa discord to watch movies or explore new video games. everyday, on call to play games and watch anime. when i share to others how we bond, sabi nila ang boring naman and ang dami naming oras sa isa’t isa, but we talked about it and we’re okay with this set up. kapag weekends nga minsan halos buong araw bed rot na lang while we’re on dc. our college course is nakakapagod due to the fact we do duties.

it’s been 2 years since we’re in a relationship and you can really see the difference 😭. ang dami na nagsasabi na “grabe, healthy nga ng relationship niyo” and then refer to the fact we both gain weight. besides the many discord dates, we also eat a lot after classes and duties together. we also love to explore new restaurants and cafe’s. ang lakas rin naming mag stress eating. hindi na kasya sa akin yung jeans ko and from 40kg before we met, i’m now 56kg. super proud sina mom and liked my bf more kasi he’s the main reason why i’m eating well now.

the issue with this is not because people are judging our weight, but because our hobbies are not physically healthy and the weight gain is affecting us, personally. one time, we decided to walk around this restaurant na may magandang scenery. three flights of stairs lang, pagod na kami?! then, palagi na masakit ‘yung tuhod ko na para bang ginagaya ko na si papa na may arthritis. halos lahat na uniform ng bf ko, hindi na kasiya yung pants. i think he’s the most affected between us with the weight gain. every time na mag-story ako, his first complaint is his double chin. he also wants us to take pictures at a specific angle para hindi kita ‘yung tiyan niya. he once had a mental breakdown kasi yung fave polo niya is very sikip na sa kaniya. kapag aakyat kami sa building na walang elevator, para kaming hinabol sa sobrang pawis at hingal namin. health-wise, prone to hypertension kasi ‘yung family niya while mine is very much diabetic. i’m proud that i have been cutting off all sweet drinks and soft drinks since january—but i don’t think that’s enough. i don’t want us having health issues at an early age now that there are growing signs.

since it has been a growing problem for us, i wanted to suggest doing something like have a sport we can bond with. puede rin mag jogging or mag gym. i don’t believe in diets because in the first place, we’re eating only three times a day—heck this is the only time i’m eating three times a day since high school! all of our friends are physically active so i’ve been inspired to also be one. however, i’m afraid that bringing this up can be insulting sa part niya because, again, he’s been really sensitive with this. is there a way i can initiate this for us or have a different approach?

previous attempts: i once suggested we should start doing table tennis because we both did table tennis when we were in high school. but palaging “next time” kasi we’d rather bed rot. there was a time na g na talaga sana mag-wawalking kami for 10k steps and biglang UMULAN for the first time during this heat index at kinuha na namin na sign ‘yun.

Problem/Goal: I have finally figured it out that my close friend, G, is problematic. Everything she has done is against what I stood for but if I cut her off, I’m afraid I’ll be her next victim.

Context: G and I are in the same department and we became blockmates noong second and third year. This fourth year lang kami nag-separate. Imagine a college IT girl— the pretty, matcha addict, fashion guru girlie. She’s also really friendly. She’s very active in extracurricular works, making her popular esp sa org niya. We both share the same interests in photography and make up. We also share common friends which made us really click. She’s kind and a friend you go to when you needed someone to listen. I have went to her a lot of times, shared some personal stories. Noong third year, I was really going through it. I broke up with my boyfriend of four years out of stress. My dad died. My brother went missing because of dad’s death. It’s just super stressful and she was the person I trusted the most. I really trusted and liked her as my friend.

I formed new friends this fourth year and I’m doing better. I’m going to graduate na and very busy with board exam preparations. One thing that I initially didn’t like about G, was her relationship with her ex-bf whom she dated all throughout high school, broke up, but kept in touch. Hindi ko gets ‘yung relationship nila. Are they friends? Are they fubu? Sugar daddy set up? I. Don’t. Get. It. She shares she has crushes naman so I thought talaga friends lang sila nung guy. Until I started seeing more red flags when hindi na kami araw-araw magkasama. She’s very male-centered. I hope you guys will understand what I mean. She favors the boys more than the girls. She’s literally one of the guys and I’ve heard most of her guy friends’ gfs ay pinagseselosan siya.

I became friends with one of the girls that recently broke up with G’s guy friends. She shared that G exhibits ‘pick me’ behavior which resulted to her boyfriend saying “Si G nga ganito, bakit ikaw hindi” a lot. Prior to all these realizations, I have told G off about her “ka-talking stage”kasi the guy has a gf and she has a weird relationship with her ex. She said that she doesn’t even like the dude and friends lang tinuturi niya sa guy. Again, she’s friendly. However, I think it’s just TOO friendly if all the guys na-“katalking stage” niya but “friend” lang daw niya has confessed to her. She has went on dates with these guys, accepted their lavish gifts. Common denominator? Rich, with gf/fresh break up, and has a car. Before, I didn’t think much of it because she has always argued na friendly lang talaga siya and she rants to me, all confused, why guys always confesses to her.

Now, I have realized that her male-centered mindset comes with a catch. She subtly flirts with these guys which these guys later fell for her or starts comparing her to their girlfriends. A recent drama unfolded where rumors that she has been going out with, not one—but three of her “guy friends” who are either fresh from a break up or in an on and off relationship. She has, again, denied these claims but too many girls have stepped forward and even some of her guy friends have admitted she’s a red flag. The issue that has really opened my eyes were the rumors that she slept with two of her friends’ exes. I remembered those guys but I didn’t know they were boyfriends of these girls that is also in the same department as us. Everything that has been going on with her has been throwing me off. She’s very much aware of what she’s doing but she always acts oblivious like: “I’m just being friendly.” ; “Yk naman I bond better with the boys because of my hobbies”

Now, why is it so hard for me to cut her off? I realized that because she has a male-centered mindset, she sees girls are her ENEMIES. I have heard her talk shit about girls in our department (at that time I agreed with her because her stories were convincing). I have met these same girls in fourth year, realizing most of her stories are exaggerated. Some stories, hindi naman siya included, but she “hates for her friends” and spreads an exaggerated and false version of the story that she’s not even a part of. The number of girls she has bad blood with are too many. Some of them used to be her friends. She has made it seem these girls backstabbed her.

If I cut her off, all of my secrets will spill. Yes, she has done this with her ex-female friends. I cannot afford this stress especially with the board exam preparations at the same time, she’s slowly getting into my nerves after I had this realization. I don’t know what to do because I cannot afford her spilling my secrets to other people and exaggerating it. I want peace. I have been declining a lot of our coffee dates lately and she has caught on. I already have a common guy friend as me if it’s true I had UTI from the department’s christmas party (G was the only one in our department who knew about this). She has started lighting the fire. I immediately reconnected with her, hanging out, just for her to shut her mouth. I absolutely have no clue what to do.

Oh, did I add that I’m reconnecting with my ex? We’re in talks about getting back together. But, he has mentioned that G and him have been frequently meeting at the pickleball court since February and became friends 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

Previous Attempts: N/A

Problem/Goal: Recently it has been exposed that my best friend is an abuser and everyone is cutting him off. He’s begging me not to leave him.

Context:

My best friend was in a relationship even before we met for college. He’s kind, rich, and a very wise person. We became close because we were the only one in our class who lives in the same area. I’ve also met his girlfriend a lot and we were comfortable engaging in conversations, but I don’t think we’re close enough to be friends. Him and I were really close like to the point that our classmates would tease na “mas sweet” pa daw kaming dalawa. We share the same hobbies and we hang out together especially kapag vacants.

He’s been super depressed lately and I have no clue why. I have been busy with an org project lately so I haven’t really spent time with him. I heard from another person that he just broken up with his long-time girlfriend. I was sad about it because I’ve seen them together and minsan naseselos na ako sa relationship nila. The following day, he asked if he can pick me up so we can go to the university together and I agreed. Doon, he started crying while driving. I offered if gusto niya ako na lang ‘yung mag-ddrive kasi talagang iyak siya. He admitted he’s been hurting his girlfriend, physically and verbally. He said na he hasn’t done it before but since the start of the year, sinasaktan niya yung girlfriend niya at the same time calling her names.

At that point, my main concern was we were in danger because he’s not driving properly. So I was “it’s okay” “it’s okay” every time he confessed his sins. It wasn’t until we got out of the car where everything sinked in. I asked him again and he said “sabi mo magiging okay lang to diba?” And I had to correct him. We had an argument sa parking lot until the guard had to use his whistle to stop us.

During the presentation of the org project I’ve been working on, rumors started spreading because his ex-girlfriend had a friend within the college as well. We all talked about it and at first they thought I was enabling it and aware of the situation. I really thought they were the perfect couple. I truly admired them throughout our friendship. I clarified that I have no idea and would not tolerate such behavior. I think the situation got the best of him because he has been very distant during classes. A common friend of ours told me that he’s probably suicidal at this point and that’s where I’m conflicted.

He talked to me again and he’s crying, begging not to cut him off even just until we graduate. He said he knows what he did is awful and he hasn’t been tolerating/defending himself. He was hoping that everything will turn out okay but I had to tell him that his thoughts are contradicting each other and no amount of compensations can erase this. Everyone in class and in the college knew what he had done and are refusing to even be in close proximity. I have a two younger sisters who I cherish and I cannot imagine if they were in this situation too. I remember how I had lunch with him and his girlfriend in the peak of this heat, she was wearing a cardigan, probably hiding what her abusive boyfriend had done. Yet they still acted like a perfect couple or am I just stupid enough not to notice and I’ve been regretting that day.

Him, begging and crying to me has been stressing me because as much as I am furious of what he had done, I’m also afraid that he’ll commit. He said that, he couldn’t imagine if I, too, cut him off. At the end of the day, I don’t think death will be the answer. I let him talk to me but I never babied him. I just let him ask questions about class requirements and I’ll just answer without a hint of annoyance. I told him to use his money to seek help because I’ve seen him a couple of times vomiting out of anxiety.

What he had done is really against my morals because all I can think about are my sisters, but he kept sticking to me and I fear the day I’ll actually soften for him.

how much subong ang mag arkila sa jeep sa guimaras kung halin jordan pakadto la puerta? thanks!