u/Far_Rule_1263

My MIL has been a thorn in my side for years. While I was dating my husband I stupidly did everything I could to build a relationship to my then hopefully soon to be MIL. The signs were there before I even got engaged. I overlooked all of them because I truly loved my husband and tried to see the best in his mother. But from the beginning it’s been death by a thousand paper cuts. She’s made comments about my body, told me where we were to move after we got married, at one point in time she even considered leaving her husband and told me that my husband and I would have to buy a house big enough for her and her two dogs to move in with us.

After having children it’s gotten even worse. She never attempted to reach out to me during any of my pregnancies to check up on me, was disappointed at my children’s genders, told me at the baby shower that “you’ll get tired of them and want to get back at them one day.” Then when the babies got here I was told I wasn’t sleep training the right way and if I didn’t do it “someone else will do it for you.” She’s left full pill cups out for my toddler to find and a loaded gun she had just taken off of her hip was left within reach of my toddler. When she gets gifts for my kids it’s either garbage gifts she’s gotten from the Vine or trash like a sweatshirt with “NANA’S BABY” across the chest. Any time she visits she spends about 20 minutes of “quality” with my kids and then blows them off for the rest of the time.

I’ve done everything I can within reason to discourage her coming around. I don’t reach out to her. No calls, no texts, no pictures, nothing. When I am forced to visit I’m cordial, not rude but not warm.

My husband has noticed. He takes up for his mother. Im not allowed to voice any complaints to him about her. I can’t even make a neutral statement without him going on edge. According to him, his entire family stays away because of me. He makes me out to be a monster. A mega bitch. He tells me that one day he hopes that I’ll get the same treatment from one of our kid’s spouses. That I’ll reap what I’ve sowed.

So am I truly the big cunt monster that drives the innocent MIL away in tears? Will my kids look at me and see that? Or will they see their grandmother for what she is? Does anyone have any experience with this?