I still cannot move on to the guy who I never dated
So, this is the story it's a real one.I met him through Roblox, and before I knew it, he became one of the most important people in my life. Together with a girl best friend of ours , we became a trio. We laughed, played games for hours, and shared moments that made me feel like I had found people I truly belonged with.
As time went on, I realized I had a crush on him. And little did I know that's crush of mine turns into infatuation, actually I was planning on confessing on February 14 at that time but I got scared and coward so instead of telling him of I how I felt,I told him I no longer have a crush on a guy and then he remember the promise I made to him. He said "oh so you will finally tell me who? " and I was shock he remember, then I told him.A few months went by, we became super close.then later, when I started thinking he might have liked me too, I got scared. Instead of facing my feelings, I dated someone else. Looking back, I think I was a coward. I was afraid of ruining what we had, and ironically, my fear became one of the things that pushed us apart.
Life happened to both of us. He experienced heartbreak, and I went through my own changes. We drifted apart so slowly that I didn't even notice it at first. Every time I wanted to reach out, time is not aligning, I overthought it. I convinced myself he was avoiding me, so I gave him space, believing that was the right thing to do. In reality, we were both waiting for something neither of us said.
When we finally talked after so long, I was hoping we'd fix everything. Instead, we got closure. He explained his side, and I explained mine. We both admitted that we had grown apart. It hurt because I realized there wasn't a villain in our story. We just became different people living different lives.
Even after hearing his explanation, I still haven't fully moved on. I don't think I miss only the person he is now—I miss the version of us that stayed up playing games, the conversations we used to have, and the friendship that once felt effortless. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I had been braver. What if I had talked sooner? What if I hadn't run away from my feelings? Those "what ifs" still linger in my mind.
Now, I don't even know if we're still friends. Maybe we are, just not in the way we used to be. Maybe we're simply two people who once cared deeply about each other and are now walking different paths.
I'll always remember the time we said to each other the "maybe in another life"even if I wonder why not this life? Maybe because time doesn't want to.
Even so, I don't regret knowing him. He became an important chapter in my life, and because of him,I learned things about myself—about love, fear, regret, and the importance of communicating before it's too late.
I still hope that someday we'll find something we're both interested in and talk again. Not because I expect everything to go back to how it was, but because I'd like to believe that some connections don't completely disappear. Until then, I'll keep moving forward, carrying the memories with me, even if a part of my heart still hasn't learned how to let go.