u/Feeling_Elderberry14

I'm sitting here looking at AIMs paperwork for my child who just started preschool. It has me reflecting.

We have had concerns about our child showing possible autism traits from before they turned 1. At his 2year developmental check, the phn agreed with the concerns but also agreed it's hard to say if we definitely needed to be referred for an assessment. She sent us to SLT, he was confirmed to be a gestalt language processor. This SLT agreed that he showed traits but some can also be age appropriate, so she said to wait and see. This is advice I wish I hadn't taken.

We were sent on a hse slt course and it really helped his language and speech. We were discharged and referred for OT at my request. I was starting to think it may be adhd, like myself.

Going back to summer of 25, we put his name down for a local preschool. Sent the forms with deposit to them in January 26, the day after we received them. I outlined our concerns and what the HCP have said to us. Got a call in June from the manager/owner to pop into her. I assumed it was a chat about starting in September as previously they had said they'd be inviting us in over summer. But it was basically a long winded talk about how she was refusing my child (without ever meeting them). I was very shocked as she rambled on for about 5mins before ending with that. I was very much led to believe that she was just giving me details on their school environment and how they do things.

She outlined it being due to not having enough staff and she could have to apply to AIMs for him but would probably be spring time before it was approved and they sourced staff. How its unfair to both my child and others. About how she wished she could help every child but can't. Also said she's had too many parents downplay their child's needs/behaviour. She asked me to be honest and I was. My son did rarely have meltdowns/tantrums and when he did they can be bad. I reiterated how HCPs had said this can be age appropriate.

I walked away so shocked and upset. She decided to keep the forms in case I am very stuck come October and she can see if she knew anywhere then.

Luckily we found somewhere else in a week and I think it was a blessing in disguise. They're so supportive, very much child led and my son does love the teachers. Now, it is definitely clear he is autistic now and we are applying for both CDNT and AON as well as looking into private assessments. The school asked if they can apply for AIMs so they have an extra staff in case my son needs some time away from peers to help regulate himself etc as current staffing levels means this isn't always possible.

Looking more into AIMs I did not know this could have been applied for back before the school year started. So really the 1st place could have offered more support and been proactive. I also didn't realise that she legally could not refuse my child based on disability or need for AIMs. I am really bloody annoyed. I want to call and ask my the forms back as its our personal info and then send her on the information regarding how she illegally refused my child.

Am I being over the top? Yes I am very sensitive at the moment as settling into preschool has been harder than expected on mam and dad as well as our child. We are only looking now with open eyes and seeing how we supported him in his emotional regulation. We realised he can't regulate himself at all without our help. I am also now adding the dots as to why I am finding it so hard to care for him some days and he is a lot more demanding than what would be typical for his age. When speaking to friends they would all agree there's was the same but now in the last week when I go into more details, they agree he is behind in some ways. He is usually so good around our friends and their kids. I'm now realising he is masking.

Thanks for taking the time to read the rants of an exhausted parent, who wants to go through that owner for a short cut. I suppose this is the start of a long road of making sure I am informed about his rights and making sure I am advocating for him.

For context, I'm in a rented ground floor apartment. We are south facing, get full sun at our front door for a lot of the day. We've a small patio out the back which is damp and shaded most of the year so I've given up on planting there and we don't spend too much time in it due to the shade and damp. I have a few pots out the front and they did mostly well apart from some being fried in the sun while I was away and husband was only watering as he remembered 😅

I am still newish to gardening but have really enjoyed looking after my few pots. I'd like to keep the momentum going and plant up some bulbs (maybe spring bulbs? Idk) to keep myself gardening.

What do you plant up in pots coming into the colder months? I've seen this spring bulb lasagne method online is that the only thing that would be suitable? Would love to hear from others as I got loads of tips just reading threads on here this summer.

Has anyone on here booked a home in Ard Roibin or Cooline? I spoke to EA about Ard Roibin last week, said they were on AL but asked me to send an email and their colleague would follow up until they were back. But haven't heard a thing, I did just send a follow up. I have been in touch with someone from the Corbett group about cooline - they WhatsApp me when I missed their call. Been messaging over the weekend randomly, but jesus its like getting blood from a stone to get information. You've to ask super specific questions. Just give me the information!! He sent me the prices like but didn't include what floor plans correlated. There's 3 different 3 bed floor plans in the brochure he sent which just says 3 bed, 3 bath and then the square footage. But then he sent me prices for semi detached, detached, end terraced. I asked about the detached and was it type A? He said no, type b. I was like ok so what price is for type A? It's actual painful.

Cooline is well within our budget and would leave us with a bit of room. But I am so unsure of the floor plans. They don't have anything of similar floor plans so we could go look at them.

I prefer Ard Roibin from floor plans alone but there is limited left, fingers crossed I hear back about that tomorrow 🤞

I think some people think I can be very confrontational. Even when its not my intention. I definitely don't have a problem bringing things up with certain people with others, knowing their reactions aren't worth it, I just bite my tongue. As a teenager, I was very head on with my issues and was labelled as being angry. I'm definitely not angry as an adult but can be sharp if I'm hurt.

I feel I can be quite constructive in an argument until I keep being interrupted. Its like my body reacts as if its a vicious physical attack. I will either end up angry to the point I need the person out of my vicinity or I go into a panic attack, full on hyperventilating crying. Especially when it is someone I am emotionally connected to, like a partner or a close family member. I will often have to say things like "please stop interrupting me, I am about to explode if you don't let me get this out". It genuinely makes me feel insane. Often what I am trying to get out, is something (I feel) will explain the situation as a misunderstanding etc. Even when I calm down and things are resolved, I'm still in a panic and end up thinking about times this has happened before and get quite sad about it.

I don't know if this is an adhd thing, or a trauma response or maybe a combination. I am diagnosed as inattentive adhd only a few months ago so still trying to decode my own behaviour. Do others react like this? Are you conflict avoidant or do you tackle things head on?

Our 3y/o has been a great sleeper since about 9m/o old. We used the Lucy Wolfe stay and support approach to help with his self settling at the time. He has been a great sleeper since unless unwell etc. He usually loves his bedtime routine, yes there might be some objections to putting away toys or turning off the tv if that's on. We usually get ready for bed, pj, teeth and then about 15mins before bed We will read a book. Usually when we finish the book he asks for his soother and picks up his teddy to go into bed.

Last week he woke during the night, we think from a nightmare. His dad went into him to settle him, ended up having to pick him up to calm him and then stayed in his room holding his hand until he fell asleep. I think the last part is what may have fueled this current phase.

At the moment, as soon as he realises we're starting bedtime routine, even an hour or so before bed if he sees his pj's he starts to object. He is refusing a book we still manage to get him to sit down with us for the story but he whines through it. He is also refusing to get off his potty to avoid the next bedtime step. Once the story is finished he is having massive meltdowns. Tonight the meltdown was extreme but didnt last as long. I only had to go back into him once to try calm him a bit. He keeps asking that we sleep on the floor next to him. I'm explaining I sleep in my bed and not on his floor.

Is this just a case of be consistent and firm? Or do we need to change up the routine.

I've always found the few days before my period and first 2 to 3 days of my period very hard in terms of my mood and emotions. I'm irritable and a bit low. I know its common for adhd meds not to work as well or at all during this time due to the hormone fluctuations.

I'm 2 months into titration. Started 20mg of tyvense, then 30mg (it made me so irritable and couldn't sleep), now on 40mg about 2 weeks and its worked really well so far. However due my period in the next few days and I'm so low. Spent the morning crying my eyes out, I just want to stay in bed. I did find last month hard but this month is another level. I had to spend yesterday evening away from my partner and toddler because every sound they made, had me wanting to crawl out of my skin. I am annoyed at everything in my life right now, we are in an awkward phase of trying to get a mortgage and I really don't like where we are renting. I scrubbed the place yesterday hoping it would make me feel better but its actually annoyed me more because it still feels dirty (the place just needs to be gutted).

Is this what I should expect every month when on meds? I've really loved being on meds as I finally feel I can function a bit more normally. I have even been driving every day after 3 years of trying to get myself on the road.

I planted bulbs for the first time this year. I am usually the type to pop one or 2 plants a year into a pot that I buy in woodies. I got 3 gorgeous dahlia plants last year and wanted to dry planting some flowers from bulb this year. As a newbie I left the dahlias die off and left the pot over winter. Luckily one of the 3 survived the winter.

I got some big cheaper pots and decided to plant them up. I picked up dahlias tubers and some were rotted so that was a waste. I then came across a box of 100 bulbs in tesco. They were in great condition and I think I paid about 12 quid. So with a bit of chat gbt help I divided up most of them up amongst the pots I have around and planted mid to late April.

Im in a ground floor apartment so theyre all outside my front door(south facing).The majority have grown and I have absolutely loads of greenery. Like loads!!

I kept dahlias separate and I have managed to cut back lower leaves, I pinched them a few weeks back so loads of new stems. There's 2 small buds after the sun we've had. But my other pots have a mix of Freesia, Liatris and gladiolus.

I can't figure out if all the foliage is a good thing or its taking energy from potential flowering? I've absolutely no flowers just pots full of leaves. I also think when I planted to bulbs I did some too close together so there's not much room between the freesia, Liatrus and gladiolus. I don't know if I should just leave them be, thin them out somehow or be adding a specific feed? I did use a random multi purpose feed previous tenant left (maybe twice since april).

Any advice or tips would be welcome. Hoping when we eventually find our own home with a garden I can get more into gardening as I've really enjoyed it.

So in the search to buy our first home ballyvourney has popped up for us. However, my partner is not Irish. I'm not a gaeilgeoir. Anyone living in the area, would you say this would make it harder to integrate into the community?

I haven't been in ballyvourney in a few years since the bypass was built. Is there much in the area these days? I don't mind if we have to travel to the likes of macroom for our bigger shops etc. But is there any cafes etc?

We've received an AIP offer from our broker. Its significantly less than we had hoped for. My partner makes 66K and then commission/tips (around 10K last year). I'm at home with child so no childcare cost but obviously then just 1 income. We knew we wouldn't get full 264k with dependents but only got 150k with avant. With schemes, our savings etc We've got 325k as our budget. They are still applying to other lenders but said this would be the highest amount on a 29yr mortgage. Theres not much in that price range in new builds if we want to use schemes for FTB. Any second hand homes in our budget need serious work and its not something we would be able to take on.

From anyone else's experience did you find the likes of esb would offer closer to X4 mortgage than other lenders?