u/FeivelM

Not sure if it’s a glow-up exactly, but found an old picture and for the first time really accepting that health is allowed to look different. 5’11 and about a 30lb difference here.

So I've always had a difficult relationship with food, and concentrated on getting that better over the last couple of years. I'm no longer underweight but obviously I've got a little bit chunky in the process - not thinking I'm fat, but I'm not a stick anymore either. To be honest I feel more self conscious now than I did before!

I know I need to build muscle, but I feel like I have a high body fat and not entirely sure about gaining any more until that comes off a bit. Should I eat at maintenance, or just get over it and continue in a small excess? For what it's worth although it's mostly fat, I have also been pretty clean - before I could only eat mostly sugary stuff and now I have a pretty good balanced diet, it's just sticking in the wrong place.

I've been going to the gym for a couple of weeks now, routine is below. It's kind of a mashup of various advice I picked up from places. It would be good to get a sense from you if I'm focusing on the right thing. Also what I should do about diet considering my skinny-fat situation:

Day One:

DB Bench Press - 3x10

RDLs - 3x 10

Lat Pulldowns - 3x10

Lateral Raises: 3x15

Day 2:

RDLs - 3x10

Overhead DB Press - 3x10

Cable rows - 3x10

Bulgarian Split Squats - 3x10

DB curls - 3x10

Day 3:

Leg Press: 3x10

Incline DB Bench press - 3x10

Single arm rows - 3x10

Face pulls - 3x15

Tricep pulldowns - 3x10

The first picture was taken a couple ago. I was at my lowest, weighing 115 lbs. To be honest, I was absolutely terrified of gaining weight. Every time the scale went up, I panic-restricted. Eating felt like a chore or a battle, and I was constantly anxious about losing control.

I had to unlearn the fear and actually learn to enjoy eating. It wasn't overnight, but shifting my mindset from "food is scary" to "food is fuel” really helped.

Finding foods I actually love made a massive difference. I focused on high-calorie meals that I enjoyed. Cooking became a hobby rather than a stressor. Liquid calories were also essential to start. When the physical fullness felt overwhelming or triggered anxiety, homemade smoothies with peanut butter, oats, and whole milk were a lifesaver. It felt much less daunting than a massive plate of food.
I also had to stop the daily weigh-ins. Stepping on the scale every day just fed into my anxiety, so switching to once a week or even once every two weeks helped me focus on how my body felt rather than a number. Shifting my focus to strength was the final piece of the puzzle. Going to the gym and realizing that eating more meant I could lift heavier and had way more energy throughout the day was a huge turning point.
I had to learn what didn't work for me too.

My next goal is to get to around 170lbs and see what I’m looking like there. I’m kind of looking forward to the first cut as that’ll be a new challenge, but I’m some way off that and just enjoying the bulk for now!

First photo is me without glasses, second photo is my current glasses which I need to replace. I've worn this style of glasses for a long time, but not sure they're the best for my face shape. Any advice appreciated!

Hi, wondering what this is. From a quick google it looks like either an irritated salivary gland or mouth ulcer? I have had lots of mouth ulcers since I was a kid, but they’re usually around my lips/inner cheeks and don’t look like this. Any help appreciated. Thanks.

I got this ad and it gave me uncanny valley vibes. I think it’s just the sharp contrasts and possibly the woman in the background’s head, and the fact they’re playing football but nobody is quite looking where they should.