u/Fenexe8

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I know it gets talked about on here plenty, but I think that shows how important it is to still talk about it. I struggle with porn, like so so so many of us do. It's been years and years, and now, at 19 years old, I struggle to find any willpower whatsoever to overcome my addiction.

Yesterday I hit a low with porn and sexually related things, where it was eating up so much time, and I had a bit of a cry. I just can't find myself fighting it any more, or even fleeing from it. Even if I think twice about it, my mind is set on it, and I don't really try not to do it. I know it's wrong. I know it's causing so much harm to my expectations for a future partner, if I even get one at this point. I want her to be everything that the girls are in porn, every type and shape, even though that's not even possible. Especially with someone who is truly Christian. And I just can't help but loathe my life and everything else for it.

I feel like I've been on a downward spiral with no relief. But I just don't know how to gain the strength. Maybe I need to just make it harder and harder for myself to do it, such as boundaries and never putting myself in a situation where I can be tempted, but I can't remember to do that.

It all just makes me feel so finite, so limited, to not even be able to overcome myself like I'm something primal.

I guess this is somewhat of a vent post. I'm pretty bad at asking for help. I'm sure I didn't provide enough information, but idk what to do. I'm tired of hearing the same cliches of lust, because I just can't pick myself up from the floor. Even by writing this post I've surprised myself, but I don't know how much I will ever follow through.

Lord help me. My life is out of control.

I want to find a list of book recommendations similar to the Letterboxd top 500

I know this discussion has been had before, but I was trying to figure out if there was an app like Letterboxd for books. A lot of people recommend Storygraph, Fable, and even Goodreads, but I think it was missing the mark.

The most talked about (and obvious) reason it missed the mark was the lack of funny one-liner comments and amazing UI that is so accessible and perfect. I find that Fable is really hard to enjoy the comments, especially since they're sorted like a group chat as opposed to the most liked and engaged with reviews.

However, the thing I find myself missing most is the lack of a pretentious top 500 list as they have on Letterboxd. It's a list composed without pure bias for classics, without bias for blockbusters, and pure love for filmmaking. It's cinephile at its purest. But do we really have a rating site like that for books?

I mean, the Goodreads top books are purely made for the catchiest new fantasy series and the most popular Booktok titles. Don't get me wrong, I love some of those books, but it doesn't feel like it's made by writers, bibliophiles, professors and students in writing/story-related degrees in the way that Letterboxd does.

I think this is probably a super common feeling, but so far, there's been nothing that quite fills this need for so many of us. Somebody's got to make a Letterboxd for books at some point, just for the pretentious elitists to rate and make a definitive list of the best books (but also for those sweet, catchy one-liner movie reviews!)

Although one thing I will say is that it's probably harder to do with books than movies. Since people can watch most masterpiece movies, whereas it's impossible to read all the books out there, since they're so much longer and there's so many more of them.

What do you think? Is there an app out there that fills this void? Do you guys feel this as well?