u/Finance-Straight

If i ask this in any other Muslim subreddit theyre going to give generic vague answers like ‘whenever its written’ and ‘age is just a number’

Whilst everything is written, we can’t deny there are natural preferences for men and women and Islam isn’t against that

So men (and women welcome too) of the sub hit me with it. I am a 25 years old female feeling like im about to expire or may already have.

Just be real. Is it too late or getting in that category

Because ive been open to the idea of marriage for about 3 years now. I didn’t just start now. However when I talked to a potential once he asked why i wasn’t already married and i felt like i had to prove myself that at my old hag age why I haven’t gotten married and its like somethings wrong with me hence im still on the market.

Is this normal to ask btw bcos it made me feel real insecure

But yes. Oh Men of the subreddit, after what age do you suspect why isn’t this girl married, there’s something wrong hence why she isn’t taken already

I thought this wouldn’t be common thinking but unfortunately males even within my own family have such opinions that a girl in her late twenties (which im soon to be) is too late for marriage. Even my own brother, who I feel is a good man, turned a girl down because she was 29 and because he got suspicious why she was still unmarried

Mid twenties female. Grew up in the West in a strict practicing conservative Muslim family. Alhamdulillah

Maybe a little too strict but its a scary world out there i guess. I spent the first half of my twenties sheltered, covered, modest, shyed away from men both irl and online. I donned myself in both the hijab and abaya and even dabbled in niqab. Whilst living in the West. Even wore the abaya to work. When men pass by me in the street I lower my gaze. When a man DM’d me i either didnt respond or simply told them I don’t speak to men.

I did this for His sake yes. But did part of me want that maybe, just maybe, if I stay this modest, I will get the recompensed of that in another practicing modest spouse? Yes of course

And so i spent the early part of my twenties waiting a suitor to knock on my door. But that knock never came. And no there isn’t anything ‘wrong’ with me. I am educated, practicing and not bad looking. Won’t go into specifics bcos i know the creeps on here so don’t message me either.

I thought i would leave it to the family. As good practicing women do. That those who find their spouse themselves, who ‘date’, who accept approaches and DMs from men were ‘bad women’. Yet its those women who got married the earliest!

And don’t say ‘no barakah in the marriage’. Please theyre on their second kid and whatnot

I wasted my prime. Thinking this shyness would get me far. If i could tell younger me something it would be to not be so prudish. That this world doesn’t care if you’re modest and shy. You gotta put yourself out there else you’re going to be in your mid-late twenties realising you wasted precious time on your high horse, that all the good fellas are taken and the ones that are left want younger than you.

I wish i utilised my earlier time, in college when there was a pool. I should have put myself out there more. I should have accepted those DMs. All that preserving for what? Some imaginary suitor that never came

Her recent tiktok kinda rubbed me the wrong way a lil

The one about this asian generation being the first to break stereotypes and norms..

It gave me wannabe feminist who recently jumped on the bandwagon

I do like that she’s 28 and is proud about holding off until marriage etc but some of these takes make her seem a bit airheady like she cant formulate opinions of her own.

I thought she was going to talk about interracial marriages etc cos that I understand she has been somewhat of a trailblazer in which i love to see

But the generic, ‘we’re waiting till our 30s to have kids and we hate our in laws’ we geddit