u/First-Raccoon7650

I was looking at the Arturia Minifreak but its closest delivery is august to december

I dont think a video recording is a good idea as a perceived observer would effect my trip

but should i document it along the way for lysergamide use among schizophrenics?

if so how?

Originally it was just Oct 7 posts,
and they had full support to fight back but they basically targetted the most sensitive sites first - hospitals

There was a grevious loss of support when IDF hitting defenseless people/dogs started circling

Now they have switched to Islamophobia posts
this seems to have been more effective unfortunately

(you can see what 'Israel ministry for foreign affairs' posts as a baseline of what the 750 million was spent on)

Anyway what I wanted to say: We have nothing to do with israel palestine war, but we are a European country, so propoganda posts (yes on facebook) targetted towards 'europe' will polute the information pool in malta. ergo, we live in a world where a country can pay for more racism in another country.

I emailed an Art's Council locally and it seems promising to get between 2600 euros and 3000 euros in order to create an art project in 2027.

Im making an Album relating to the history and symptoms of schizophrenia but i feel simply releasing that would not have much of an effect

So i was thinking of communicating with my local council and making a small live festival

2 things come to mind

- a schizophrenia simulation

and

- bookmarks with Descriptions of symptoms or coping mechanisms

I'd like to hear your thoughts/suggestions

Here's my unsolicited, unqualified; unmedicated advice:

- Be Safe
- Dont hurt others.
- know exactly what meds youre taking (the medical name (eg. Methylphenidate not Ritalin) and what they look like in pill form.
- Never Overdose your meds, normal drugs are more fun and safer.
- When being given meds, always check that the right pill/solution is given to you at the right dosage (The amount of mistakes ive encountered was too high for it to be reasonable to leave the responsibility with them)
- Always clarify the type of schizoaffective you have (some doctors just read schizoaffective (sometimes thats all theres written) and assume bipolar if you dont present apparent depressive symptoms)
- Cigarettes may have a positive effect on our mental state because of its anticholinergic effect, this would make the keto diet idea make sense also

What is schizoaffective?
it comes in waves, you enter into an acute emotional state paired with psychosis followed by a relatively normal emotional state paired with psychosis present, then for the most part normality.

(This is everything in my case, and everyones brain chemistry is somewhat different, there are just apparent cases where the presenting symptoms overlap and we can classify a group based on these symptoms listed in DSM 5 criteria, available online)

so first:

Interpersonal sensitivity
- I begin to see peoples emotional state and possible thought process a lot more clearly, and it effects me greatly

Then Thought Broadcasting
- My thoughts are loud and everyone can hear them, there is no privacy, i constantly respond to my own thoughts to not feel like what is happening automatically is appropriate thinking in a workplace or social situation or wherver

Intrusive Thoughts/ Voices (in between) (inner skull voices)
Like your thoughts are loose, it is incoherent if you are in control of these thouhts or if they are yours but they are not exactly voices, because i can distinguish them from reality even though i can hear them, they call me stupid

Delusions:
- I begin seeing like everyone is trying to communicate with me to go somewhere with their gestures or implied phrases

Then Voices
- Generally unpleasant, and can be tortorous or can be pleasant and just be a friend in a dire need.

After that im not perfectly sure, how it returns to normal, if its fast if its slow, i would like some input, but meds help, therapy really depends on the therapist and if you connect with the person.

I am currently off meds and my motivation is back up and I havent had any symptoms become present, but they had been subsided for years on medication, its just i had dystonia (like a cramp in the arm that doesnt rly hurt but looks odd) and akythasia (annoying as fuck have to move constantly, cant sit down, body jolting on the chair out of discomfort)

(both avoidable by not taking 1st generation anti psychotics like flupentixol)

I applied in march and all emails have been ignored except 1 where i got a vague "in due course"

so what is up?

do i have to play "predictively" or is the latency low enough on the live 3 that It feels like normal drumming?

I know its 5-10ms and the xl is 1-5ms,
I saw the old 2500 was 3ms latency

So im wondering what it feels like more than the data

I want to mainly use it for finger drumming

Palestine
war Crimes
they define
genocide
a moral right
...so fuck it lets fight.

Theres pedophiles on my left
Zionists on my right
can you guess what might just start a fight?

"Lets burn the Tanakh
Lets burn the Tanakh
Not giving a fuck
Lets burn the Tanakh" (*4)

Palestine
war Crimes
they define
genocide
a moral right
...so fuck it lets fight.

Not welcome in my cafe
Not welcome in my school
no hate to the jews
just a polite fuck you for 70,000 killed,
aint even red pilled
just noticed some cracks.
just stating the facts
used to have your back
but now i dont.

if you made obscure predictions,
ones that are hard to shake off,
like the war, covid, chat gpt and Game of Thrones finale, to mention some,
or specific calculations like the prime factors of 697 in a second
or your voice went so dark and loud, that it sounded like electricity

But you also said you saw yourself on the floor all bloodied up, dead.

What would you do?

has anyone here done ayahuasca?

My agnostic self thinks time is not linear and something i did or will do was insane even for me, so much so that i have not looked forward, i have not looked back, my mind is stagnant in March 2019

https://drive.google.com/drive/u/1/folders/1yiXyhNjYUfkFW8uJSXPpWH5z0j7Zmv9z