u/Fit-Understanding450

I’m working on myself a lot this week. She finally called an end to our relationship after a rocky “hot and cold” two weeks. She admitted she hurt me and attached all the words you want to hear about how great you are! How you deserve to be loved unconditionally and that I love you but am not in love with you.

It just stings still. A little less day by day because it felt sudden when she asked for a break 2 weeks ago and I agreed because of love. I feel she had been mourning the end of our relationship because she was giving more lust to another man. A man I felt safe and trusted her with. A man she would spend time alone with once a week.

She denies denies and denies. I trusted her but man I can’t shake the thought atleast once or twice a day. I tally every minute. I’ve google searched symptoms and they align. I’ve talked to a friend I trust and he said…

“Dude she ever bring her dogs to the bar with you?”

No.

“Well when she said she was leaving his apartment and had the dogs…”

She was at his place the entire time. Not the bar.

I just feel it’s still cheating to grieve secretly and deny someone the truth. Anyone else able to relate?

She is older and I found safety in our relationship and trust so I didn’t see the break coming so fast and harsh and I trusted her and her age that she would be 100 transparent and respectful. I hope I’m wrong but if not this is a lesson for me and I can learn from the pain I’m feeling.

I felt so safe and loved by her that I didn’t see the signs or maybe the pain she was going through. I’m a very extroverted person and she is with me but has talked about how she shuts down, is cold and can hurt people. But now that person is me.

Lots to unpack but I’m left confused now. First pain, then anger, lashing out for the way our relationship “had to” end. Feeling one sided and like she just wasn’t in love with me… she loved me.

We went back and forth these last couple weeks. Days of texting. Days of nothing. Days where we made time to reconnect and felt like home again. Kissing, cuddling, even being intimate but then she would just shut me out completely. Sometimes the very next day.

In few words, Im exhausted. Have lashed out and but she never hung up. We were loving and together and she ended things via “email” where she said she is sorry for the back and forth the hot and cold and that she loves me very deeply and that I gave her a love she had never experienced before. She’s older than me so it stung. Why can’t this work? Why is something so good?

I’ve taken a lot of time to reflect these last 3-4 days. I’m way more improved and want to be a better version of myself, regardless if she ever reaches out to me again.

I suppose I just wish I knew what she was doing, thinking, feeling… if I was a more healed person before we met would I have been able to show her a better person? I want to be healed now because I know this reaction and hurt I have isn’t good.

I don’t know. Just a lot of pain and thoughts but I’m hopeful. One day at a time.

Reading other people’s stories has been so nice on Reddit.

Thank you to anyone who has time to read this.
Advice or anyone that can relate would be great

I’m a Pisces and just suffering heartbreak from a Cancer woman. I really loved her and she loved me but couldn’t commit. We had such a fun and easy loving relationship up until 3 weeks ago. It took me by surprise because I felt our love was so special.

Either way it’s ended with her apologizing for the way she has treated me the last couple weeks and that it’s not fair to me and that she should have just ended things instead of dragging me along. She admits that she’s never been loved and cared for so much by someone before and that she tears up thinking about me…

Am I wrong to think there’s more than me in this picture? That she’s hiding things from me and that ending our relationship is far easier than just communicating and building a future together. It just doesn’t feel fair.

I’m 38(M) she is 44(F) Id say joyful, funny and playful best sums up our relationship, I just wish things didn’t have to end and so abruptly. :(

Just having a rough day today and hoping to see if anyone else can relate, share advice.

Thank you <3

I’m a Pisces and just suffering heartbreak from a Cancer woman. Not sure if this is the place to warrant a response but I really loved her and she loved me but couldn’t commit. We had such a fun and easy loving relationship up until 3 weeks ago. It took me by surprise because I felt our love was so special. Went from daily communication to absolutely nothing for days. I understood a need for space but I had to speak up and when I did I was hurt. Then she was back at my apartment kissing and cuddling and apologizing. This behavior went back and forth until I really couldn’t take it any longer. I understand space and wanted to be supportive but I just couldn’t understand being completely ignored and isolated as a form of healthy communication.

It finally ended with her asking for my email and apologizing for the way she has treated me the last couple weeks and that it’s not fair to me and that she should have just ended things instead of dragging me along. She admits that she’s never been loved and cared for so much by someone before and that she tears up thinking about me…

Am I wrong to think there’s more than me in this picture? That she’s hiding things from me and that ending our relationship is far easier than just communicating and building a future together. It just doesn’t feel fair.

Id say joyful, funny and playful best sums up our relationship, I just wish things didn’t have to end and so abruptly. :(

I can open up more in the comments. I love cancers! And I’m just here for any support / guidance.

Thank you <3